Sunday, August 24, 2014

Back to School: The 70s vs. Today, A Lot has Changed

Back to School in the 70s

1. Take the kids downtown to go shopping at Sears for back to school clothes the last week of August. Get everyone a new pair of corduroys and a striped tee shirt. Buy the boys a pair of dungarees and the girls a pair of culottes. No, Jennifer, you can't have that orange and red poncho. Promise you will crochet her a better one with much more fringe. Get the girls a package of that rainbow, fuzzy yarn they like in their hair. You are done. You have spent a total of $43.00. Now take everyone to the Woolworth's lunch counter for grilled cheeses and chocolate milk.




2. On the night before the first day of school (that would be the Sunday night after Labor Day, of course, you know, mid-September) throw the kids in the way back of the station wagon and drag them downtown to Eckerds, K-Mart, Ames, Dollar General, Drug Fair or the like and hurry them over to the back-to-school area to pick out a lunchbox. Make sure to tell them get a move on because you don't have all night for them to make a damn decision. They need to get in bed by eight and yes, they're going to miss the Wonderful World of Disney if they can't decide between The Fonz and Dukes of Hazzard. Good Lord, why is it so hard for them to pick? Tell Kimberly if she can't make up her mind between Holly Hobbie and The Bionic Woman then you're going to pick Pigs in Space and you don't want to hear another word about it until June. Grab a composition book for each of them and a pack of pencils too. That's all they need. Remember to save some grocery bags so they can cover their textbooks with them after the first day of school.


3. Buy yourself a pack of Virginia Slims on the way out and smoke three of them on the way home.

4. Get up in the morning and make yourself a cup of Sanka with Sweet 'n' Low. Line up all the lunchboxes on the formica counter top in your kitchen. Open up a bag of Wonder Bread and do this assembly line style.

5. Spread yellow mustard on bread. Slap baloney on bread. Unwrap American cheese slices and put on top of baloney. Put top on the sandwich and wrap sandwich in tin foil or wax paper. Put it in the lunchbox. Every kid gets the same exact lunch. Period.

6. Alternate sandwich choices could include: peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and marshmallow fluff, the end of last night's leftover roast beef or the ever popular with children tuna fish with large chunks of onions and celery and Miracle Whip.

7. Put some Planter's Cheese Balls into a baggie and close with a twist tie.

8. Take Twinkies out of the box. Put one in each child's lunch box.

9. Fill Thermoses with either Kool-Aid or whole milk.

10. Include a red delicious apple even though you know that damned apple is just going to come home uneaten again, which is fine because you can keep adding the same one until it practically rots.



11. Close the lunchboxes. You're done. Go put some Barry Manilow on the record player and celebrate that your kids are out of the house until dinner time. They'll grab them, along with a frosted, dutch apple Pop-Tart on the way out the door as they walk a half mile down the road to get to the bus stop.

Back to School 2014

1. Take five deep breaths and say a positive affirmation. School begins in two weeks. It is the middle of July. Don't worry, you still have time to order BPA-free bento boxes and authentic Indian tiffins made with special stainless steel that did not involve any child-labor, sweat shops or animal cruelty. Remember, you have Amazon Prime. You can get the free two day shipping and you will have plenty of time to read reviews and make this very important decision because your kids are in summer "camp" which is actually just another word for school in the summer because OH MY GOD you were so tired that day you had to have them home all day with you and you couldn't go to your restorative flow class at yoga. And that was also the day something went terribly wrong with the homemade glitter cloud dough recipe that was supposed to go in their sensory bin and the very same day that they were out of soy milk at Starbucks and you had to immediately email corporate to let them know that duh, they should actually be selling almond milk and/ or coconut milk. Get with it Starbucks. Soy is so 90s.  Ugh, but you digress. The tiffin. The bento boxes...

2. One Week Later: The bento boxes and tiffins have arrived. So has your childrens' school's annual list of school supplies that you must purchase and deliver. It is three and a half pages long.  It includes a ten pound bag of flour and several cleaning products and also requests a Costco-sized package of toilet paper.

3. Begin frantic online search for backpacks and school bags made from all natural materials yet still "cool." Have them monogrammed.


4. Take kids shopping at the mall for new school clothes. Buy them each a completely new wardrobe from Gymboree and Crew Cuts. Spend $2,387.07 on your credit card.


5. Take children to the child psychologist to prepare them mentally for the difficult transition to a new grade, new teacher and new classroom.

6. Intently study the allergy list the school has sent you which lists all the items that other children in your children's classes are allergic to and thus cannot be sent in your child's lunch either. This is extremely stressful because the last thing you (or anyone) wants to be responsible for is sending a second grader into anaphylactic shock. Make notes on your phone so you can remember what not to buy when you go to Whole Foods.

7.  Purchase school supplies for your children. Not to be confused with the 3 1/2 page list of classroom supplies you are also responsible for. They will need paper, pens, folders, notebooks, a calligraphy set, fifteen new apps for their tablets, a graphing calculator, a scalpel, an electron microscope and a centrifuge.

8. Go to Whole Foods to shop for school lunch items. This will take 4 hours and 15 minutes because you have to read every single label to make sure you are purchasing organic, locally sourced, non-GMO, gluten-free, allergy friendly products. You come home with tahini, bananas and a package of brown rice cakes. You somehow spent $76.19.

10. The night before the first day of school prepare the bento boxes. Fill containers with organic, local strawberries intricately cut into the shapes of  sea creatures. Include homemade, nut free granola made with certified gluten-free oats. Make a sandwich on vegan hemp bread out of tahini, kale and jicama. Form it into the shape of your child's favorite Disney character. Make flowers out of non-dairy cheese slices, olives and seaweed. Photograph the finished Bento Box and post it to Instagram.

 11. Write your child an encouraging note which includes an inspirational quote.

12. Include a sheet of stickers for good measure.

13. Fill a Siig bottle with filtered water and also include a box of chilled coconut water in the Bento Box because children can never be too hydrated. Ever.

14. Blog about this experience. Pray it goes viral and is picked up by HuffPo.


15. Get up at four in the morning on the first day of school. Make first day of school signs for each child to hold as you photograph them on the front step. Make a bunting to hang above the front door. Blow up balloons. Actually, go ahead and make a full on back to school photo booth.



16. Make pancakes in the shape of the letters of the alphabet.

17. Dress kids in coordinated outfits and spend 35 minutes posing and photographing them (with your phone).

18. Load everyone into the car to drive them to school.

19. When they are safely in their new classrooms, return to your car to cry for the next 20 minutes. But it's okay, really. You'll be back in six hours to pick them up and drive them to Synchronized Swimming, Cello and Urdu classes this afternoon. 

893 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Really?? Taxes certainly don't pay for them in my city. (Also, think about asking your child's teacher what she pays for out of her own pocket. You might be surprised.)

Heather said...

Homeschooling is amazing! Go you! I know of some homeschooled NASA workers. I've heard more wonderful homeschool stories than socially awkward ones so screw what government is telling government schooled kids (public schooling is the nice way of saying government) anyways keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Yay, another "things were so great back in the day and everything sucks now" article. Never read one of these before.

Diana said...

As a mom with children in school in the 70's, and a grandma with children in school today, I could so completely relate to this article. Good job!!! You nailed it...No need to explain yourself. Seems that some people have misplaced their funny bones and take everything so literally and seem to just look for something to argue about. The one thng that seemed to be missing from your list of things needed for school today, that was on my grandson's list, was an IPAD !!! Yep, the boy is in the 8th grade and had to have an IPad... As for organic...I am 68 years old, take no medication, am up and at 'em everyday and could not even tell you what is organic and isnt. And, I haven't killed any of my family with a can of corn yet...so, I guess we will all survive. Thanks so much for this article...I just sent it on to my daughter...she will love it also.

Katie Catesby said...

There is a possibility that this might go viral and picked up by Huffpo.

Kimberly Rae Cole said...

Are you sure we're not related in some way.... funny thing is my name is Kimberly and I grew up in FL in the 70's..... Your dissertation was spot on...

Anonymous said...

now it would be mom sneaks out behind garage to smoke a fatty....and cope with her stress

Anonymous said...

We didn't shop at Sears as we went to K-Mart to check out the "blue light" specials. My grandchildren have a mom who packs their lunches almost identical to what we packed for her (Peanut butter and jelly, chips, fruit and a drink). Although my other daughter is so thankful that the schools in Lander, WY have microwaves, so her kids get hot lunches.

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the 1960s and '70s and didn't attend a school with a cafeteria until sixth grade. Before that, we ate at our desks. Forty-some years later, I still eat lunch at my desk ... but that's because I like to surf the Web during lunch. :-)

My first-grade teacher encouraged us to get "quiet" lunchboxes, not those metal things. So my mom bought a padded vinyl Yogi Bear lunchbox -- it started coming apart within weeks, and it was replaced with a metal one -- boring plaid. But no freezer packs. Lunches were kept in the coatroom. To this day I can't stand room-temp tuna. Thermoses were discouraged; we were to buy "school milk," which I think was a quarter a week. In winter it was kept on the fire escape to keep cold.

The supply lists baffle me. Until fifth grade all my supplies were school issue: pencils, pens, paper, rulers, notebooks, crayons, the whole nine yards. It wasn't until fifth grade that we started bringing in our own notebooks, felt-tip markers, binders, etc., but pretty much everything else we needed was available in the classroom.

Thanks for the chuckles and the trip down memory lane!

Diana said...

I was wondering, while reading through the replies, how a child that is so allergic can be put in an environment where they are in such danger. If a whiff of peanut butter could be fatal to a child, what parent would send their child into a classroom where peanut butter and jelly sandwiches rule the lunchbox? Why is it the responsibility of other parents and young children (and your own child) to keep this child safe. What do the parents do when the child goes to the grocery store or a restaurant or a park or any public place? I guess I just don't get how it is everyone elses responsibility to protect your child. I agree...perhaps home schooling is the answer.

Di Ramirez said...

How did we ever survive...smh at the parents that over do it. My children thank me that I didn't go all helicopter parent on them. The third one started her senior year yesterday and did her own shopping, on a limited CASH budget, just like when my mom trusted me to do it.

Just one more and I'll be free from the "new school year nonsense"...except for college that is.

Anonymous said...

Jim, it really is sad that pizza parties and baked goods are not allowed in the same way it used to be... it feels even worse when you are the one that has to ask for that change for your own child. My son had a severe dairy allergy, and I really may homeschool him when he gets to school age, but that is not an option for everyone and many people feel strongly that these children have the right to feel normal, not be outcast because of something they can't control like this. Being immune suppressed... well guess what - I've done nothing to create his allergy. .. we are not even terribly crazy with the germ thing. My kid has probably had a similar entrance into the world as your kids germ - wise, it just so happened that mine was the one who got an allergy. There is a definite increase in allergic children, so there is naturally an increase in precautions in schools. Also, I do have to bring food my child can eat wherever we go, 100% of the time. All allergies are different, but it's very dangerous for my son to be around pizza and other dairy, not just eating it. So while it's great that some can just bring a safe treat while others eat what they can't, it's not the same situation with each child.

Anonymous said...

Fluff! You must have been an east coaster... And what about Danish-go-rounds! Pop tarts' evil twin... :D

Kathy at kissing the frog said...

#14, of course. I think you're there. :)

Anonymous said...

Not awful unless the only thing your kid likes is peanut butter sandwiches. :-/

Anonymous said...

The 70's were much simplifier/better times. No spoiled kids and mothers boosting their egos by posting on Facebook comparing whose kids are the best. No insane people thinking everyone and everything is allergic with the gluten nonsense. Most people don't even know what gluten is... fuck off with all that.

Angel Haggar said...

Laughed my ass off!

Anonymous said...

Allergies are a serious concern today. I was a lucky parent because my kids didn't have allergies to foods. Back in the early 2000s studies were being done regarding the increase in food allergies among the populace. One study said there seemed to be a link between those babies fed soy milk formula instead of cow's milk. It said that in their sampling some of the children who drank soy milk formula developed allergies to wheat, peanuts, and eggs. Other studies suggested that certain foods may be introduced to early into a child's diet. And then other studies stated that some children's immune response was not as mature and eventually these foods could be reintroduced into their diets. That is what happened with my nephew. Intolerance to cow's milk is not uncommon (bloating, gas, constipation, diarrhea) but being allergic was (hives, rash, itchy skin, anaphylaxis). I know that if my child had such a severe allergy to a food I would definitely consider homeschooling. It is virtually impossible to alleviate all exposure to certain allergens.

Anonymous said...

Bingo. Our social standards and expectations have definitely changed, and media/marketing is a huge part of it. I grew up in Central Massachusetts eating "plastic cheese" and mayo sandwiches and getting my clothes from the church basement thrift store, while my classmates were enjoying Jell-O snacks and gummy bears while wearing their Gap clothes. I resented it for years, thanks to the cultural messages of self-worth being based on consumption, but this article reminds me of why I was actually pretty darn lucky. - R.M.

K.Anderson said...

Thank you for everybody who agrees that food allergies are nothing to joke about. I was so scared to send my oldest to kindergarten this year due to his multiple food allergies. Luckily, we have taught him what is safe for him and what is not. Also, the school works very well with us both with hot lunch options and keeping him safe in the classroom.

And about the point of first day of school photos: I enjoy taking some fun photos with chalkboard art. I'm a crafty person and as long as the kiddos don't protest, I will be as goofy as I want.

Anonymous said...

I was sporting the Brady Bunch lunchbox. But the stores were closed on Sundays.....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing celiac disease up! My son is celiac and it's a struggle to get people to understand that it's not a CHOICE to eat gluten-free in his case. I am tired of having to explain it's not a fad for everyone, that it is serious and necessary for celiacs.

Elizabeth Parker said...

I don't have kids, but this is hilarious! I grew up in the '90s, as well.

The Shitastrophy said...

My kids are 4th and 5th and get nothing near that as their back to school regalia. I did buy one 4 shirts and the other 2 shirts and 2 shorts. No sign, no notes, no pics. Just another day being an underachiever - my guess life will be easier on them as adults when they realize this.

Anonymous said...

Agreed! But you have to admit it's tiring to be bunched in with the gluten-free "fad"....

Anonymous said...

Benson & Hedges Deluxe Ultra Lights. Non Menthol.
I used to buy them for her at the restaurant vending machine down the street.

Anonymous said...

I have a child who is allergic to nuts and it has been hard to get parents to acknowledge that. She's actually eaten items that contained nuts that were brought to school because she didn't know, and had a reaction. I don't recall kids when I was a child having many allergies either. So when I found out my own child had one I was really surprised. @Jim Every child has the right to go just about any school they want too regardless of their differences. They are not freaks that should not be locked away. Reactions are triggered in different ways. Most times the food that causes the allergic reaction has to be ingested for it to have an adverse effect on the child with the allergy. Sometimes even by touching it. In my daughter's case, nut protein is in the oil in nuts. Oils can be absorbed into the skin. Therefore causing a reaction. Schools are just so cautious about these kinds of things now because they don't want a child dying in their school and being sued for it.

Anonymous said...

I take exception that the "smart ones" are all home schooled. I know some home schooled children who are adults now and some of them have a hard time dealing with everyday living and associating with other people. Maybe their parents did not do so well as teachers.

Candy Mickels Mejia said...

Spot on and totally awesome! I had a Mork and Mindy lunchbox. And probably a ketchup and bologna sandwich with fritos in a baggie. OMG.

Anonymous said...

I remember mom wrapping my sandwich and beverage in aluminum foil and the beverage was used to keep the sandwich cold. Because freezer packs didn't exist .

Kathleen Smythe said...

This is why I home schooled for 20 years!

Anonymous said...

The 70's were a simpler time, thank God.

Anonymous said...

Exactly!! Caring about the world around you (well said). Especially innocent children. I hope HER kids don't ever need any care and consideration from anyone else. We are a non-allergy family generations back and I still find that to be a very heartless statement.

Anonymous said...

Eckerds wouldn't have been open on a Sunday night. Blue laws.

Anonymous said...

Thank god I don't have children.

Anonymous said...

This is fabulous. It's been shared by so many of my friends on FB, that I finally had to relent and click on the link. I live this post. Actually live it. I was born in '73 and #1-11 was absolutely my experience. Now I have a 3rd and 6th grader. If the modern things you list don't apply to me, they apply to someone I know.
I guess I'll be sharing this on FB now. ;)

Sara Hammond said...

Ummm, what's a tiffin and how do I not know this? Is it important that I know this?

Anonymous said...

word

Anonymous said...

I just dropped my son and the rest of my money off at college. I cried just like I did his first day of Kindergarten.

Anonymous said...

I just dropped my son and the rest of my money off at college. I cried just like I did his first day of Kindergarten.

Anonymous said...

the third week of August is typically the first day of school. Only on the east coast to schools start after Labor Day.

Anonymous said...

Urdu. That's so 2000s. My kids taking Sanskrit.

Anonymous said...

Thank God I was 50s/60s!!!

Anonymous said...

Better yet, my mom stopped on the way home at the general store (from a small town) and GAVE ME 35 CENTS TO GO IN AND GET HER A PACK OF WINSTONS. Oh yeah, windmill cookies, pretty cheap.

Anonymous said...

I was the MOM of the kids in the 70's & 80's. So glad my kids are all grown now. THEY are the ones doing all of the crazy stuff!

Anonymous said...

Lived in Panama as a kid. Ran through the clouds of DDT and followed the truck spewing it all the time. Haven't heard of any large number of people who were affected by this. We are in our 60s, 70s and 80 now. I would think it would have shown up by now.

Anonymous said...

This makes me so angry to read.

Anonymous said...

So you're saying that stick up your ass isn't organic?

Anonymous said...

Survival of the fittest. Just sayin...

Collegegirl said...

Omg. Laughed. Out. Loud. In the doctors office. Repeatedly.

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the 80's and 90's and never new anyone with a food allergy. Anyone else?? What the heck happened to kids??? I wonder what it's like in other countries...

Anonymous said...

I just thank goodness I don't have to worry about possibly life ending allergies everyday of my life. Packing my kids lunch, when their only at school for 6 hours, with some consideration for other CHILDREN (little innocent beings, lets remember) is not that hard. I never had to deal with it growing up but having compassion for people is not as hard as people make it out to be. Lets hope none of these eye-rollers ever need any compassion and stay in their homes if they ever have any issues so the rest of us don't have to be 'inconvenienced' by it. For you Mothers that deal with it, I feel for you!! People can be seriously selfish.

Anonymous said...

I think that both are EXTREMELY exaggerated but the contrast is what makes it funny. The only bit that I thought was glaringly inaccurate was the 2014 mom monogramming the backpacks. It should have read: "Have them monogrammed only to wake up at 2am from a stranger-danger nightmare and spend the rest of the night unpicking the stitching."

Anonymous said...

This is the best thing I've read in a very long time!!! Funny and true and even kinda sad. Thanks for the great editorial on the how times have changed. :)

Anonymous said...

This is only the case if you buy into all the marketing (that's what it is) we call non-GMO, organic, etc.

It's ridiculous, and almost completely a liberal thing. Conservatives still eat meat, and don't give two hoots about hormone free milk because it says right there on the label that cows treated with hormones, and those not treated with hormones make the exact same milk and it doesn't matter.

OldDogNewTits said...

Oh, I so wish I wasn't old enough to get all the 70s references. And I do mean ALL of them. Great post. I loved it. I wrote a back to school piece a few years ago that I will shamelessly (fine, maybe I feel a LITTLE shame) plug here. http://olddognewtits.com/2012/08/13/the-back-to-school-abcs-according-to-odnt/

Claudia Schmidt said...

Hilarious! I totally relate to all the 70's stuff, my mother made us bologna sandwiches every single day, so disgusting! Thanks for the morning laugh!

Claudia Schmidt said...

Hilarious! My mom made us bologna sandwiches every single day of my childhood, so gross. Thanks for the morning laugh!

Anonymous said...

No offense but I really don't think you should be glad you are homeschooling your kids. What are you protecting them from?? Kids need the social development that going to school provides them. Start up your helicopter and bring your kids to school geez!!!

Anonymous said...

This is 99.9% accurate for West Coast cities like Seattle, Portland, and San Francisco. Not sure if it holds true farther south than that, but for at least these three cities - no, not an exageration at all. In fact, maybe a little light on the whole.

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the walk home to eat lunch, and then walk back to school for the fternoon.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!! YES!!

Anonymous said...

This is almost funny. But it falls under the pathetic category, because our kids can't do anything these days except, want and get. And parents who take heaps of photos of the first day of school and then when they get back and feel they have to share them on social networks...WHO THE HELL CARES what your kid looked like? How many of these vain photos will you actually 'keep' forever, or simply delete to make more room for selfies or other multiple photos that you will also delete to make more room for more selfies and photos that mean little to nothing and post all of said photos to twitter, facebook or Instagram?

How about looking at the simplicity of the past rather than finding coordinating specific brand clothing and backpacks that you MUST get monogrammed? How about making your kid lunch that is for your kid, that some kid with an allergy shouldn't be sharing (if their parent has taught them properly about their self care?)?

No wonder kids are so screwed up!


Anonymous said...

There is a difference in caring for the world around you, and contributing to the continued decline of our world. 100 years ago these kids wouldn't have survived hell 50 years ago they wouldn't have survived. Now they are out in the world and will eventually breed to make more weak humans who can't fend for themselves and have to rely on others to protect them from themselves. The touted medical breakthroughs we hear about only compound to make us more weak. They allow the government to have more control over us. They allow the NWO to eventually take over because they stay healthy by not taking part in these medicinal breakthroughs. Which cause allergies and sensitivity to crap. It's not food related it's medically related and it's not in the shots the child receives it's in the shots the mother receives during pregnancy and the fact a log of mothers are lazy during pregnancy.

Michael Rowe said...

I love some of the deadly earnest commentary on this thread. Apparently another one of the things we could do better in the seventies was lighten up.

Anonymous said...

Yup, my mom lined all 5 of us at the door. We each had an apple, a baloney sandwich, and she gave us each a nickel for milk. If she was feeling extravagant, we got a cookie from the day old bakery. after a "Hail Mary and an Our Father" we were out the door to have burping and farting contests on the walk to school that was approximately one mile away. 5 kids, 5 boys, one girl in a 1200 sq foot 3b/2b house. Good time.

Robbi Wags said...

So wish I was a 70s mom!

Anonymous said...

Love it! I think you're spot on, our mothers were a lot more laid back when it came to raising us in the 60's and 70's.

Anonymous said...

Not at my house or my daughter's family home! In the 70s they ate the school lunch or went hungry. I fixed a nutritious breakfast of eggs, bacon or sausage, biscuits or buttered toast, orange juice.

Today my grandchildren eat breakfast and lunch at their 5 star preschool which my daughter pays full price tuition. Mom shops when she needs something for them. They get clothes when she shops, and they dress well. After school in the summer,, swim lessons, and during the school year, the older child has one, 45 minute lesson of gymnastics. They play when they get home, eat a good dinner, baths, books read and bed. Not so different.

Virginia said...

You let your child watch Disney movies? I'm shocked and dismayed.

Anonymous said...

Love this! Thanks for reminding me of my childhood.

Anonymous said...

I think facebook/pinterest, etc. has made other moms try very hard, but I just decide to fail. I don't gush about the kid's and hubby's birthdays, except to them, and give them a present. I "pin" all those great recipes and ideas, but I don't get around to them. I nostalgically remembered "back to school" clothes, but realize my kids wear pretty much the same stuff in and out of school, so I let them order their own jackets online, and buy shoes and pants when they're needed. Kids get a t-shirt for every damn activity they get within ten miles of, but they ignore those in favor of logos and dryfit budget busters. Budget cuts require us to chip in, I get it, so I've made a stab at those generic supply lists, but the real supplies always end up being different from the list. Add laptop, activity, PTO, etc. fees. I really struggle with the need to recognize allergies, provide school supplies, healthy lunch, basically PROVIDE ENOUGH without going overboard. My kids have so much and still feel like the "poor cousins" here in this very wealthy county.

I really think dialing it back a LOT would be very good for all our kids, and maybe teach them simplicity and gratitude.

Anonymous said...

Not exaggerated. Not a bit-

Anonymous said...

Excellent, since the "modern" parent will be the reason their kid never grow up and be healthy!

Le said...

I went to school in the 40's and 50's, and you wouldn't believe all the things we did without. It's a wonder we made it through school to graduate!

Le said...

I went to school in the 40's and 50's, and you wouldn't believe what we wore and what we ate and what we did without. It's a wonder I graduated......

Anonymous said...

This was great, love your humor! I cringe everytime I see all the pinteresty moms posting their perfect pictures and perfect lunches with little notes. I stopped keeping up with the Jone's long ago!

Anonymous said...

The 70s article was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing! So true! Except our local "Beacon Pharmacy" (now a cloned CVS) had ALL the school supplies we could possibly need and they were CHEAP. Benson & Hedges - then More - then whateveritdidn'tmatterIneededacigaretterightTHEN! School for my step kids and kids spanned the 70s through the early 90s - I went through the Mother Earth thing in the later 70s and early 80s - natural foods - everything homemade - raw milk from Alta Dena Dairy (we lived in California until 1983) - no meat for 3 years - Diet for a Small Planet and Recipes for a Small Planet were my main cookbooks - by the early 90s, my kids were in high school and the clothes and shoes and jackets were the issues - EXPENSIVE - i was back in college, heavily into Women's Studies and revisionist history - helped me block out the trauma of high school proms and limos --- I went to school in the 50s and 60s - blissful - milk for 2 cents in elementary school but that was offset by buying War Bonds and air raid sirens and air raid drills- school lunches tasted like real food - we actually LEARNED something! Reading and SPELLING and MATH WITHOUT CALCULATORS - life was simple - I feel sorry for today's kids with all the pressure and distractions - what would they do if they had to get UP to change the channel on the TV??????

Anonymous said...

Sure were!Lunches were 25 cents!

Anonymous said...

Also forgot to mention that the 70's mom had a few drinks while the kids were at school!

Anonymous said...

This is the 167,398th reason I'm so glad I don't have kids!

Anonymous said...

I laughed all the way through this. Ironically, a FB friend just posted pics of her perfectly coordinated children holding their first day of school signs. I just tried not to say anything when our daughter's first day of kindergarten pics went up and there she was in her dirty play shoes. I guess she's stuck in the 70's too.

Anonymous said...

Oh yea - THIS ENTIRE THREAD DID NOT HAPPEN TO THE 70's - nobody thought of this stuff, much less spent time communicating it!

Anonymous said...

My parents would never splurge on an extravagance like cheese balls! Saltines buddy!

Anonymous said...

I grew up in the 70"s and thankfully the back-to-school expedience for our kids is more like the 70's than that load of BS in the article about 2014. How pathetic of any adult who does all that stuff.

Anonymous said...

Just the VERY first day...kindergarten...I was the eldest of 4 at that time, eventually 8 kids, few pictures of the others except 'school pictures'...more kids, less pictures unless it was family photos. Partly because one needed a camera, film and then processing, it wasn't as easy as grabbing your cell phone. Phone BTW was on the wall in the kitchen, so up-to-date!

Anonymous said...

Totally agree with you. How sad.

Anonymous said...

You lost me at Boloney. (Try Bologna)

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of San Francisco moms reading the 2014 section and thinking "yes .. and your point is ?"

RAnn said...

They are right about the school supply list, but around here (New Orleans area) all the kids (except a few small private schools) wear uniforms to school.

Anonymous said...

Okay first of all, since when did America start using bento boxes? Heck since when did America even know what a bento box is?

Anonymous said...

Homeschooled kids are the ones not following the crowd.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes? It all goes along with every kid in America having the same smile. Orthodontists have the best job $$ that is. My kids are in their 20s, I'm mid 50s. I ate plenty of baloney sandwiches. Drank from garden hose a zillion times. My mother would whistle from the porch of our 2nd floor apt in a two family house for us to get our arses home for dinner, or remind us the street lights were on. When my daughter wanted a Coach bag in 7th grade - because "everyone has one," I reminded her that I didn't. That was about 2003. I fear the future generations. Expecting first grandchild in the spring. Wonder what the school day routine will be for that child by 2020 when he/she is sent off to preschool.

Lori B said...

ok its so hilarious because its true...hahaha! actually, i dont think 2014 is true at all. its such an UNFUNNY blanket statement on how back to school is. who even knows what that stuff is? i tried looking for complaints about the 2014 description but everyone is so busy going off on how funny and accurately true it is!?? really, all you parents get bento boxes and spend that much money on nothing at whole foods? come on now!!

Anonymous said...

It is 100% true in West Los Angeles. That is for sure!!

Andie said...

This^^ no no no no no stop. We don't pump our animals full of chemicals to keep them healthy we take care of them. Period. We're no different than any other American farmers either. Myths and fear mongering about food production is a problem please stop spreading them.
Sincerely the agvocate

Anonymous said...

Yes you can certainly pick the home schooled kids out in college. They are the annoying I never learned there are others that are just as important as I and I should stop interrupting class as if it's all about me and my learning.

Anonymous said...

Oh....the memories. Deciding what color 3 inch, 3 ring 'notebook' I wanted that year and shopping for hip hugger bell-bottoms and earth shoes!

Erin O'Brien said...

I think I acted more like the 70s mom over the past12 years than the 2014 mom. oops.

shipofthesun said...

"YOU DAMN KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!"

As if the 70's were better. I suffered through it, and actually remember it, and it sucked. My child, on the other hand, has opportunities that I couldn't even dream of, and is MUCH more prepared for life than I was. To throw the baby out with the bath water concerning school today is to throw away useful and valuable tools. If I had access to a psychiatrist or psychologist when I was 15 and unknowingly Bipolar I/ADHD, I would own the world now. My child has benefitted from my experiences and hasn't had to deal with my issues, and has a large array of resources if she does. She will own the world, thanks to this confusing and terrifying future, and we can only hope to somehow survive against the tide of The New Ways.

The Crunchy Christian said...

I am sorry, but what is a bento Box and a tiffin? Sorry my "80's" are hanging out. ;)

Anonymous said...

Seriously? You do all that stuff now? There is such thing as over parenting.

Darcy Perdu said...

This is brilliant -- you are frikkin hysterical! We need to become drinking buddies STAT!

Caylee G. said...

Fabulous!

Anonymous said...

Holy crap people! I can't believe people do that much even now. Over parent much? This is one reason why a lot of kids feel entitled. This makes me sad thinking of what the future holds.

Anonymous said...

Silver Thins

Anonymous said...

So funny I hope it actually IS picked up by HuffPo!

Anonymous said...

Well, cute, but you compared a blue-collar 70s family w/ a VERY wealthy current one. Apples and oranges.

Whoa! Susannah (Formerly Write, Rinse, Repeat) said...

YEEEEESSSSS!!!!! Hilarious! Well done!!!

Anonymous said...

Ditto.. I never ate bologna... but am sure my little brother and I received the same lunch.... and fruit.. maybe 1 cookie 2x a year !

Anonymous said...

Thank you. I didn't smoke. Times I wished. I had 4 kids in 3 different schools in 1977 and had gone back to college.....

Anonymous said...

I don't remember anyone ever drinking Sanka in the morning.

Anonymous said...

Homeschool? I'm glad we don't have kids! More time spent sipping coffee in the morning!

Anonymous said...

No, no, no! This is all wrong: it was MAYO on the bologni sandwich, not mustard! And don't forget the delicious Underwood deviled ham sandwiches. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Homeschooled kids are the ones in the defendant box

Anonymous said...

You know it! Even the 50's and 60's were FlufferNutter's and Oscar Mayer! I am Gluten Free ( feel Fantastic) and most kids should be.
Our Family Society has become dysfunctional...."What would you like for dinner Bobbie (he's 2 years!!)" EXCUSE ME! Pull your head and feed them healthy food. Don't ask as they do not KNOW! ":Use your words" OMG, how pathetic and an absolute cop-out!
My Daughters are very successful and seem balanced, but, the Grand Kids, oh my.
Great Blog, off my soapbox and headed to make a contribution to Society through my volunteer work. You all be well and safe!

Anonymous said...

No one in the world is "sensitive to GMOs". Trillions of GMO meals have been served and not a single person has ever been harmed, let alone killed, by them.

Anonymous said...

I was a child of the '50s. My mom smoked unfiltered Pall Mall's ... had something to do with her early death at 95. She would send me to the corner store to buy a carton of 10 packs for $1.79 & 3% sales tax.

At school I got to eat the plate lunches ... I still have not had better hamburgers, fish patties, mac & cheese, cherry cobbler & OMG !! Chess Pie to die for.

My dog walked me to school then returned home .. she would be watching for me with wagging tail & big grin from the 3rd floor back window as I entered the back drive from the alley.

In the summer little markets near the kids' park programs sold bread slices & bolgna & 16 oz RC or Double Colas and a Moon Pie all for 25 cents.

Luv the nostalgia.

Anonymous said...

Back-To-School prep for this mom who home-schools her children with a heavy emphasis on "unschooling"
Mid-August - I am shopping for groceries and see back to school display. They have packs of paper on sale - 10 cents for 200 sheets - WOW! That will last my budding authors until Christmas! OH... Not the 200 sheet pack! The 10 packs maximum that I can buy! Cart home 2000 sheets of lined paper for one dollar. Briefly contemplate whether I need to limit the time my 14 year old spends writing. Wonder if it is unhealthy that she chooses to spend an average of of 6 1/2 hours per day writing. That is more than a full time job because she doesn't take week-ends off! Remind myself that unschooling experts reassure me that my child knows best what she most needs to learn.

Anonymous said...

Apparently your school never taught spelling or grammar.

Anonymous said...

Oh, This is so perfect. And so true. Except for the part about running to the store Sunday night for lunch boxes. We had blue laws here in Texas. Had to make that run on Saturday :).

Anonymous said...

Love it!

Anonymous said...

This is probably the funniest thing I've ever read! And 100% spot on true!

Anonymous said...

Don't forget "Fill out the form to opt my child out of vaccinations because I'm a horrible person who'd rather see them suffer and die than admit that my favorite brainless celebrity, who has zero actual education or credentials in medicine, might be completely wrong for self-serving reasons."

ladydiole said...

Glad I graduated in the 70's.

Anonymous said...

Tell your kid how deep the snow was " back then " and " how good they'e got it now " !

Kendra Kaiser said...

The thing that the modern mom forgot to mention is that yes, she drove them to school, just a block away.

Anonymous said...

This is funny, but I grew up in the late 90s/early 2000s, which went something like:

1. School starts the first week of September. Kids are asking to do school shopping. Tell them to borrow note paper from the person sitting next to them until next paycheck arrives.

2. No longer qualify for discount lunch policy due to “middle class” income. “Forget” to give kids lunch money until next paycheck arrives. It’s alright, they’ll get creative.

3. Drop kids off at school at 7am.

4. Pick kids up at 7pm, because they have after-school jobs by age 14. “Borrow” money from them to pay electric bill.

5. We’re not poor, we’re “middle class.”

Anonymous said...

This is exactly how it is for us here in Southern California.

Anonymous said...

I so hope your description of your family is true because if it is I no longer feel alone. Convicted felons, meth dealers, preachers, mothers posing as sisters, lesbians, uptight right, liberal left, all make seating around my Thanksgiving table a laugh riot.

Anonymous said...

Just saw this post on http://www.scarymommy.com/back-to-school-the-70s-vs-today/.
Whose post is it, yours or the other site's?
M3

Anonymous said...

Aluminum doesn't cause Alzheimer's disease. That was a theory that was debunked a while back. Aluminum cans do frequently get coated on the inside with things containing BPA though, which has other health risks (including increased risk of obesity). It is possible to buy canned foods that do not have that coating though. Canned vegetables have their place and are nutritionally better than not eating vegetables at all. I think there are pluses and minuses to both the 70's way of eating and living and today's way.

Anonymous said...

I went to elementary school in the 1990s and early 2000s, so I can't say from experience anything about either of these lists... The 1970s one seems really sweet and simple (but with very disgusting lunches.) The modern one is extremely exaggerated though... This makes me question the validity of the whole entry... Maybe the seventies weren't so simple after all. Only a special kind of insane parent would do all that stuff you listed in the second half of this post.

I also don't think most schools won't let your child bring items other children are allergic to. I've worked at schools recently and have found there is often something like a "peanut-free" table at lunch. Other kids can still bring peanuts... They just have a special table where kids who don't bring peanuts can sit to stay away from the potential allergen.

Anonymous said...

As a teacher, I wish everything was still like the 70's.

Anonymous said...

Sardine and onion sandwiches never quite cut it.

Lindsay Shugerman said...

Except for the cigarettes, it's spot on! And yes, I am guilty of being the "new" version of mom. :-( But in my defense, my daughter's organic, vegetarian lunch is delicious...and NOT gluten free or paleo or any other current fad!

Anonymous said...

I think it may be even more true for homeschooled kids (a homeschool mom). Especially the pictures thing.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, DDT IS harmful to the environment and to people. According to the EPA:
What harmful effects can DDT have on us?

Probable human carcinogen
Damages the liver
Temporarily damages the nervous system
Reduces reproductive success
Can cause liver cancer
Damages reproductive system
Plus it is persistent in the environment and is present in seafood and in crops grown in contaminated soil. Plus the products of the breakdown of DDT are more toxic than DDT. According to Duke University: At concentration above 236 mg DDT per kg of body weight, you'll die. Concentration of 6-10 mg/kg leads to such symptons as headache, nausea, vomiting, confusion, and tremors.

So YES DDT is hazardousto humans,

Anonymous said...

I think being a parent in the 70's was a lot better and a heck of a lot more fun and a lot less stressful.

Anonymous said...

Wheat is what made civilization possible - perhaps, but the wheat we eat today is totally different from the traditional strains. Dwarf wheat has been so altered it is held responsible for much of what ails us today -- diabetes and obesity, psoriasis and leaky gut. I personally have healed my psoriasis by cutting out all wheat which means cutting out just about everything processed. Cows are ruminants and are supposed to eat grass only but they are fed corn which makes them sick resulting in the need for dosing them with antibiotics, which are passed on to us. The agricultural industry cares only about the bottom line and will do anything to the products they sell in order to increase yield and thus their profits. Not sure what is meant by terminator seed, just know that large seed distributors have cornered the market and will allow only their seed to be sold at inflated prices, resulting in ever more expensive produce. And as for not being able to feed all our people in the cities if we went totally organic does anyone have statistics on the amount of food that is stockpiled annually to keep prices inflated or just discarded because we have such a glut of produce?

Mary K said...

Absolutely spot-on. You just missed the one part where '70s mom slips her kids some Benadryl the night before school because they won't stop trying on different outfits and go the hell to sleep.

Anonymous said...

the only thing you missed was the throw the kids in the car, no seatbelts or anything in the 70s-- and fasten multiple straps on kids' car seats and booster seats now.

Anonymous said...

Actually I am a stay at home mom and I think its sometimes the working moms that do all of this to make themselves feel better. I said sometimes, get your panties out of that wad. ALL moms can be guilty of over protecting, over compensating, hovering, you name it. We live in the south and it is a little like described. There seems to be a "keeping up with the Jones'" mentality. I am not buying into it. My 13 year old packs the lunches around here, I'm not at all worried about what she packs. I don't cry when school starts, but I also don't do cartwheels down the sidewalk either. I remember my parents acting as if we were a nuisance and that they could not wait to "get rid" of us for the day and it made me feel like, well, a nuisance. I tell my kids that I am sad the summer was so short, that I am glad we had fun, but I know they are going to have a great school year and that I can't wait to hear all about it.

Angela said...

I can relate to the going downtown to Sears - this was a highlight for me as a kid. I was an 80s mom - much easier for going back to school than today - this is hilario
us!

Anonymous said...

How to avoid all that? Home school!

Angela said...

Ps - I wonder if I'm too old and fat for corduroys?

Anonymous said...

I took a yoga class in a middle school cafateria. There was a table in a corner of the room marked "Peanut Allergies". The poor kids who had to sit at that table! I was lucky, my kids could eat anything but I wouldn't send peanuts if it was going to make another kid sick or have to sit at a special table!

kathryn Scarlet Ohara said...

Pepperoni sandwiches are alive and being eaten here in ATL! ��

Anonymous said...

yes! I keep thinking as I read these comments that they are exactly the modern parent the author portrays! They take themselves and their lives WAY too seriously.
And as someone who was in grade school in the 70s this is spot on. I completely forgot about ponchos and fuzzy ribbons. I loved these along with my white gogo boots and leather purse with strings coming off it.
My kids couldn't believe that I never had my "first day" picture taken!

Anonymous said...

You forgot about knocking cigarette ash on the sandwhiches and blowing it off enough so it still looks white. Also, does anybody rememeber those pants that weren't really denim fromSears......Oh Toughskins...what is that stuff cause it isn't denim.

Stephanie Kelsey said...

I live in an area where the information for kids entering kindergarten includes "No smartphones allowed in class or on the bus", so this was particularly amusing for me.

If your kid is so allergic that literally the fumes of a common item will kill them, why would you purposely send them out into an uncontrollable scenario and risk it? Even if every kid and employee doesn't bring in the item in question, what if they brushed against someone in the subway or the coffee shop who had peanut butter for breakfast? Or the hug their kid on the way out the door and they get a smudge of it on their shirt? You may not like the idea of homeschooling or feel it's exclusionary, but it certainly seems preferable to death, and it would seem to be the safest thing for the child. It's not always a matter of parents not wanting to be accommodating, but the situation of total containment being well-nigh impossible.

Marianne said...

Sanka. YES. LOVED THIS and seriously. If people can hate on the ice bucket challenge, they can hate on anything. I think humor is a dying art - please don't stop!

Lori Vachon said...

Great post! These cray cray Supermoms are over the top ridiculous! Thanks for making me laugh today!

Anonymous said...

I am so thankful I went to school in the 80's! No cell phones, no Facebook (THANK GOD) no instagram! You stayed outside until the street lights came on, You had 30 minutes of recess in the morning, 30 at lunch and 30 in the afternoon, homework was work you could not finish at school! Now they give you homework just for the sake of having homework! My kids have a total of 20 minutes ALL DAY! And they wonder why our kids are so hyper!

Anonymous said...

Child of the 80's here (literally born in 1980). Trapper Keepers for binders, Lisa Frank notebooks and lunch box, and Jansport backpacks. Those 4-color Bic pens, and those pencils with replaceable leads you just pulled the dead ones and placed them in the top of the pencil. Heaven forbid you lose one of the plastic lead holders... It rendered your pencil useless lol.

Our clothes came from Sears, and if I was very good, I got a pretty new dress from Peebles instead of there.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with *unbranded* and making food yourself from scratch - done properly *it takes less time than going out to buy it* and is magnitudes cheaper.
And what's wrong with recycling real or fake butter containers for lunches ?
From someone in the UK - comment applies to me in the 70's on the 70's and me now on now.

Annette Belnap- Tips from a Typical Mom said...

So hilarious, but I must admit, I am just like the mom from 2014, except for the Bento Boxes. I make my kids eat school lunch ;)

Anonymous said...

and so will the non existant state of palestine

Anonymous said...

We made five sandwiches on Sunday afternoon, wrapped them in tin foil and put them in the freezer. Each morning, we'd take out one frozen sandwich, add it and a bag of chips and a piece of fruit to the lunch box and head out, knowing that the sandwich would keep everything cold until lunch. By that time the sandwich would have totally defrosted and ready to eat. We'd purchase a carton of milk to drink with it, and enjoy a healthy lunch with our friends.

Anonymous said...

Piiiiiiiiigs! Iiiiiiiiin! Spaaaaaaaaaaace!

Anonymous said...

I think this is sad that kids expect so much today and parents think they must provide it! You are not doing them any favors!!

Anonymous said...

I went to school in the 60's &70's. This description is exactly the same except for the lunches. My mom worked so we ate in the cafeteria, no time in the morning to make sure everyone had lunches ready.

Anonymous said...

Dukes of Hazard debuted in 1979 and cheese puffs around 1930ish. Although not in ball form and not by Planters. You will never have completely chemical free, organic food unless it's grown in a biodome and watered with distilled water.

And it is totally asinine to say that home schooled kids are smarter and can be picked out of a crowd. I think all the gluten free, sugar free, dairy free, fat free, organic, vegan diets are not good for anyone. In fact I think that is part of the reason so many people are so freaking uptight about everything these days. Eat a steak, drink some milk and let your kids have some free, unstructured time to play in the dirt without you hovering over them....and for God's sake eat a cheeseball once in a while.

Anonymous said...

I complained about my dad packing me a "cream cheese and jelly" sandwich once...he never packed my lunch again. =(

Anonymous said...

I had a steel bonanza lunch box ,hot baloney and melted peanut butter sadwiches.the kids today are spoiled rotten.parents need to tell those kids to get thier lazy asses outside and find something to do (kickball,hide and seek,baseball)and start socializing so they dont turn into some sick ass shooting up schools and no they dont have to get a bottle of water they can drink from the hose just make sure they dont go very far and are back in the house when the street lights come on

Anonymous said...

Thats because you were rich by all the brown baggers def.

Cindy DeBoer said...

Oh. My. Stars. Victoria! I laughed so hard I had to go change my panti-liner! And after reading some of the nay-sayers comments, I want to take the saturated panti-liner and use it to slap the faces of those haters! Your blog is just pure hilarious-ness! And the world needs more of it - and more of you. You are so spot-on with life in the 70's (I'm 47) and the contrast to parenting today is almost painful. Perhaps it would be painful if it weren't so dang funny! I have recently been diagnosed with a rare, terminal lung disease - and I wrote a bucket list - and near the top of the list I said I want to laugh more. Please sign me up for your blog - and keep it comin'sister!

Anonymous said...

I think you have it backwards. A school age kid now gets WAY more attention and special treatment. I'm jealous of my children. When I pack their lunch they get some combination of sandwich (meat, bread, cheese, condiments, lettuce, tomato), juice box, packaged crackers, yogurt, fresh fruit, "lunchables", sphagetti-O's or beefaroni in a thermos, fruit snacks, and some sort of crunchy snack.

As a kid I got a sandwich (PB&J) and some milk money.

In fairness, though, school shopping is easier. Our district takes care of most of the supplies. We just need to provide sunscreen and a bag to transport homework and winter gear.

Anonymous said...

And if you forget to bring your school supplies to school, just buy them at the school store for about 10 cents from a nice 5th grade store worker ;) Plenty of cap erasers and handwriting paper to be had for great prices!

Anonymous said...

I could really go for a pepperoni sandwich. What's on it? (besides pepperoni).

Anonymous said...

funny post..makes me me yearn for the 60-70's when I grew up, my son is a child of the 80-90's, things had changed but not like now, I see so smany over the top spoiled kids today, they want, they get! thanks for the memories "-)

Dallas Single Mom Examiner said...

Nowadays, If you don't do the things lsited in 2014, people call CPS on you pr call you a bad parent. In the 70's if you didn't do things that way people would just say you are a bad parent.

Anonymous said...

So, no cable then? You're missing out. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is pretty awesome.

Anonymous said...

Mine didn't either! :-)

Anonymous said...

This is so perfect. I went to school in the 70's and it was just like this. How did we survive this??? Oh and of course the drinking from the water facite in the front yard did kill us. Miracles of all miracles, right? It is rather sad how it has gotten. When I started school every year it was with a pen, pencil and peachy folder and I got educated.

holam said...

This is so true, and I much prefer the 70's.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it was so much better when working women were treated like property, when it took the National Guard for young black students to go to school with white students, when lynchings and cross burnings still occurred in American towns, poor race relations and discrimination led to riots, and hoses and dogs were used to deal with social unrest. The Cold War, McCarthyism, the Berlin Wall, a presidential assassination... What a wonderful era! (/sarcasm)

Kris said...

OMG, YES! In our house the first day was cream cheese with sliced olives. Pimentos were like gold back then I guess? LOL. Salem slim lights (twice as many as the box DOES say "light") and assembling the sandwich while drinking a Tab or Fresca. God bless my mom's hard work, the 70s and current wellness meds to replace the cigarettes!

Dawn H. said...

As a child of the 70's in Southern California I can so relate. It wasn't until 7th grade that we were told "girls" can wear PANTS to school!!! Whohooo! Wonder Woman lunchbox filled with a sandwich, an apple, some Hydrox cookies and a thermos of milk. After school snack was a plate of cookies or a slice of cake, a glass of milk and out the door to play with the same kids we went to school with. I rode a bike with plastic streamers coming out of the handlebars and no helmet. :)

Ken Adams said...

Re. the Anonymous Imbecile (12:18 a.m.) who chose his or her comment on this funny piece to slip in an idiotic remark that "Israel will be taken to trial," Taken to trial??? For not allowing murderous maniacs to use tunnels and air strikes to destroy innocent people? Get your facts straight. Israel is just protecting themselves, as always. They are not the aggressor, as always. It is the sick, twisted Israel hating Palestinian leaders who purposely put their missile bases in their own schools and hospitals, so their own people will be killed when Israel fights back.

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard at the summer "camp"! Why can't Mom's these days handle having the kids home for a full day? They will never get that time back.

Anonymous said...

PCOS does not cause obesity. It's worsened by obesity.

Anonymous said...

fabulous post!!!! so true.

Anonymous said...

this was great...as the oldest of 8 kids.....the only time all 8 of us were in school was 1972...we had the station wagon....my Mom lined up the bread in a row and made sandwiches like that....she didn't smoke..but my dad sure did.....we had great fun times....8 of us going for our school clothes...only times we got "new underwear" were for back to school and Christmas...lol and for all you sweating and complaining over this post....it was fun to read...lighten up...and yes, I see some many parents spending soooo much $$$$ on their kids stuff. then again, we didn't get lists and lists of items needed for school either....

Anonymous said...

Oh where's Steve now that his entire argument has been debased?

Anonymous said...

There was nothing like biting into your sandwich in the lunchroom and finding out your mom forgot to take the wrap off of the cheese. She fixed us cinnamon sugar toast for breakfast but one morning it set my mouth on fire!!! I jumped up and starting spitting it out in the kitchen sink. Turned out she had grabbed the meat tenderizer by mistake.

Anonymous said...

So funny...and true...I needed to have my waterproof mascara on instead! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I agree a lot has changed and not for the better unfortunately.. BUT a lot of the changes are due to people giving into it and making it catch on and go even further.

Anonymous said...

This is great! Thanks for writing it. Everything from the 70s rang true for me. The fun part is it brings back great memories! The people who are taking such issue with your broad examples of current times aren't getting the joke at all. Obviously, not every current parent is this way, but there are enough of them out there that we all either are or know someone who is the 2014 version. To those without a sense of humor, I say lighten up!

Dale Marion said...

7. Purchase school supplies for your children. Not to be confused with the 3 1/2 page list of classroom supplies you are also responsible for. They will need paper, pens, folders, notebooks, a calligraphy set, fifteen new apps for their tablets, a graphing calculator, a scalpel, an electron microscope and a centrifuge.

AND THEN I LOST MY SHIT! LAUGHED SO HARD I WOKE MY WHOLE FAMILY! Thanks for this!

Sarah said...

This was absolutely hilarious and scarily truthful at the same time! As a person born in the 80s, it STILL left me yearning for "the good ol' days." I like how the tone took me down memory lane in the first part, and then made me actually feel uneasy.

Anonymous said...

I must have hit a time warp, I'm still in the 70's.

Anonymous said...

Happens in the Cleveland area, too. I'm a teacher so I get to see all the craziness! Very glad my kids deal with what I give them.

Anonymous said...

Homeschool them.

Anonymous said...

This was Hilarous,I was a50's KID,My God how we have screwd up what should be stress free, Thankfull IM an OLD MAN......

TommyRay Holditch said...

Wait, worry about food allergies yet request a bag of flour??? A Celiacs sufferer can't even eat food that is prepared in a kitchen that has flour in it!

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading it but around here school started a week before labor day and we needed more than a pack of pencils and a notebook. What about crayons, glue, pens after 4th grade, etc. Now school starts after Labor day per state law unless the school gets a waiver. And no it wasn't the liberals that put the law in effect but the repubs back in the early 90's. Imagine that.

Anonymous said...

love it! Oh, I had some tears..lol.

Anonymous said...

I love, love, LOVE this. As a child of the 70's I can appreciate each and every word. And as much as I try to stay "true" to my upbringing, the judgy looks I get for letting my 7th grader walk or ride is bike the 1 mile to school can be unsettling on some days!

Anonymous said...

I love, love, LOVE this. As a child of the 70's I can appreciate each and every word. And as much as I try to stay "true" to my upbringing, the judgy looks I get for letting my 7th grader walk or ride is bike the 1 mile to school can be unsettling on some days!

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