Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Good Ideas...For Someone Else.

I have more ideas than I know what to do with or that I have the actual skills to put into action. Every day I think up new stuff that someone else ought to do, so I thought I'd share a couple.

1. I want someone to start a blog where for a set period of time, say, two weeks or so, they try a new diet plan and report on it everyday and say what they ate and what it was like and how they felt and if the diet works. For example, they could do Paleo for a couple weeks, then try a vegan diet, then maybe do Atkins, then South Beach, then Weight Watchers and then go all raw for two weeks. I would be totally fascinated by a non-biased, experimental, almost scientific approach to trying and reporting on these diets. It could probably even be turned into a pretty interesting book at the end of a year or so. Reasons why I won't be doing this? I am lazy and totally undisciplined and could never stick with any crazy eating plan for more than like a meal at a time.

2. Somebody needs to write a children's book that teaches kids about privacy. As in, leave Mommy alone when she is going potty. Please. I seriously cannot go to the bathroom in peace. Between my daughter and the cat, because the two of them have actually teamed up with the common goal of not letting me poop in peace, I will never, ever have a moment's privacy. I really need a book that teaches my daughter about this. I'm not even kidding, the other night we were out in the yard and the cat was pooping in the flower bed and she was all up in the cat's business. Maybe we could title the book "Let Me Poop in Peace!!" The alternate title could be "Get Out of the Cat's Ass."

3. Most women hate their nipples, especially after childbirth. You know how they have vaginal rejuvenation surgery? They need nipple rejuvenation and nipple reduction surgery too. I have a friend who says after nursing her son her nipples look like Ipswitch clams. Lots of other women think their nipples are too big or weird looking. In fact, all the women I know are way more self-conscious about their nipples than their vaginas. If someone could come up with a nipple fixing cosmetic procedure they would be a gazillionaire.


mary in vegas said... are just too funny!!

Elayne said...

It doesn't exactly follow your criteria in that I didn't blog every day but I have been experimenting with food/diet since last February and I've been writing about it a bit. The first post was here:

And the update that I just posted on Monday after getting the results of bloodwork is here:

I'm a hypnotherapist and I help people with weight loss and I see a lot of people for whom 'eat less, exercise more' doesn't work so I've done a lot of research into food, diets, exercise etc. In short, lots of vegetables, healthy fats including saturated fats and little to no processed food/refined carbs/sugar is a good place to start. Beyond that it's important for individuals to experiment and see what works for them. Giving up wheat and most grains made a huge difference for me even though I don't have celiac disease.

I don't think 2 weeks is enough to give something a fair trial and it's important to focus on healthy whole foods no matter the diet. You can be a vegan and never eat a vegetable or you can be paleo and eat 70% vegetables.

There is a study comparing low fat/high carb Ornish type diet, high fat/low car Atkins, Zone and LEARN:
The end result is that Atkins came out ahead. A follow up study showed that people who are insulin resistant do poorly on high carbs/low fat whereas people who are not can do well on either so it makes sense that more people would do better on Atkins since something like 75% of the population is sensitive to carbs.


Class factotum said...

That's because the women at the gym can see your nipples.

mcgrim said...

Would you call it a "nip tuck"? I bet extreme cold would make it hurt like the dickens for a good 4-6 weeks after surgery.

Claire said...

Not about pooping but I used this book a lot to get across the idea that sometimes people need 5 minutes of peace...or 3 minutes and 15 seconds.

Anonymous said...

There IS a nipple surgery!!!! I haven't seen the results but I know someone who did it!!!!

Do D. said...

I published the book Can I Poop in Peace? based on a similar experience I have with wanting to Poop in Peace!

Enjoy and know you are not alone :D

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