Monday, April 07, 2014

70s Mom Dines Out - Salad Bar Edition.


Bill and I went to dinner for our anniversary over the weekend. I had wanted to go to fondue but Bill said it was too french and next thing he'd be eating quiche or some nonsense such as that, so we went to the new steakhouse instead, which was fine. I wanted to show off my new hair-do. I had it winged.


Before we went out, I washed my hair in Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific. Kimberly persuaded me to try it and naturally I did because I wanted my hair to smell terrific, but honestly, I think I still prefer my Wella Balsam. 

Bill got me a bottle of L'Air du Temps as an anniversary gift. I was so excited but it's funny because I got him a bottle of Paco Rabanne even though he won't wear anything but Brut.

"Dream on, Toots," he said when he opened the package, "I love my Brut."


Well, at least he doesn't wear Hai Karate, you know? My husband is a little bananas when it comes to some things.

I was going to go all out and let the kids have Swanson's TV dinners, but naturally they were all fighting over the fried chicken one, because they think it has the best dessert and no one wanted the turkey dinner one because they said the gravy was slimy and before long it was absolute chaos and Bill ran downtown to get them all hamburgers from Gino's. 

Then the babysitter was late, so by the time she got there Bill and I really had to book if we were going to make our reservation. I thought this was the perfect chance to tell Bill I thought we ought to get a new car. His Fiat wasn't cutting it. I want an Oldsmobile - maybe a Cutlass or a Delta. I love the vinyl roof. So elegant. Bill didn't like the idea of getting a new car though because he said we just got new paneling in the family room and I just redid the kitchen (Harvest Gold!) plus I'm taking ceramics classes and doing macrame galore.

"Didn't you just get a new terrarium too?" Bill asked.

Well, yes, and it's gorgeous, but a terrarium full of moss and ferns and little orange ceramic mushrooms and owls is a far cry from an automobile. Men!

I also got a new shag toilet seat cover for the guest bath, but I'm hiding that under the bed. My chenille bedspread covers it up well and when Bill forgets that I spent too much this month, I'll get it out and pretend like we've had it all along. That usually works on him.

We made it to the restaurant in time but our table wasn't ready so we had some refreshments at the bar in the lounge area. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed my pina colada. It came in a big coconut with an orchid, some oranges and maraschino cherries on a tiny sword, PLUS a miniature umbrella AND a drink monkey. That monkey was just precious so I asked the bartender if he could give me three more to take home to the kids. They're going to flip when they see these things.

The hostess was built like a brick house and Bill wouldn't stop looking over at her, which really got on my nerves at first.

I said, "Look, Bill. I'm no chump, keep your eyes on the prize, Mister Man."

Luckily, Bill relaxed a bit after his first Old Fashioned. He straughtened up and began to compliment me instead of the hostess. I was so glad he noticed my new slim figure. All that Tab is paying off. I'll let you in on my secret though. I've been keeping trim with Dexadrine. My doctor gave it to me so of course it's safe and my house has never been cleaner! I crocheted an entire afghan in an afternoon plus ran the electrolux three times in one day. I love the energy boost! Between that and my Ayds diet candy, I'm simply unstoppable and slimmer than I've been in ages, so I look fantastic in my jumpsuit. It's true that for the past three days I've only slept 45 minutes a night, but I lost ten pounds in a week, so I'm loving it.

They really did the new steakhouse right. Very classy establishment. I love the decor: lots of dark wood, red leather booths, dim Tiffany lamps over the tables and several brass accents. As soon as we sat down they brought us a little crock of cheese spread and some packages of melba toast in a basket. What a nice touch, and they said we could head on up to the salad bar at our leisure. I was nearly beside myself. The iceberg lettuce was so crisp. My friend Judy says they put potato whitener on it and some people have deadly allergic reactions, but I think she's alarmist. They even had chick peas and pickled beet slices, plus Thousand Island and French dressings, even though I went with Green Goddess. So exotic! I could have lingered at that salad bar all night.

We both ordered sirloins and they were cooked to perfection and came with those delicious spiced apple rings and sprigs of curly parsely. Baked potatoes came on the side and the meal was delicious.

When we were finished I wondered if I should go to the payphone in the lobby and call the babysitter to see how the kids were doing and Bill said not to, because if there was a problem she'd call the restaurant and they'd come get us to use their phone so why waste the fifteen cents? I had to agree.

"Let's splurge tonight, darling," Bill said, "Bananas Foster or Cherries Jubilee?"

Ahh, I am simply nuts over anything flambeed! We had a hard time deciding but finally chose the cherries which were exquisite. They brought out a little cart and made our dessert right at the table!

After dessert, we paid the check and Bill took me for a spin on the new parquet dance floor. That man can really boogie, I tell you. We had so much fun and we were practically like Saturday Night Fever out there.

"Honey, we need to do this more often," Bill said.

I agreed. 

"I hope we're still dancing like this in the year 2000," I said.

"They'll probably have flying cars by then! We can fly to the restaurant," Bill laughed.

What a fabulous evening! 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

This old bat alternated between laughter and tears at the memories! Thanks for that!

-Maureen

PS - I used the stuff but my hair never really smelled terrific plus the frizz was unHOLY.

DK said...

She should have tried Body On Tap. The shampoo with beer in it.

DK said...

She should have used Body on Tap, the shampoo made with beer.

Anonymous said...

Steak and Brew; Beefsteak Charlie's. Weren't phone calls still a dime?

Anonymous said...

Steak and Brew; Beefsteak Charlie's. Weren't phone calls still a dime?

Dayna said...

I LOVE it!

Anonymous said...

What memories! Restaurants with names like {Meat} / {Alcohol} and/or {Shellfish} rocked the 70's!

I remember delivering a pizza to one of these as an ambassador of a popular 30-minutes-or-less pizza place when I was in college. I made a bit of a splash when I walked in to this place, but the pie was delivered quietly to the staff, and the restaurant was not embarrassed.

Heather said...

OMG, those apple rings on the salad bar -- I had forgotten. I don't know if it's still this way, but when I lived in Montana in the 90s restaurants were STILL exactly like that, right down to the dark wood and faux Tiffany hanging lamps.

I lost track of your blog for a few years (I think you were pregnant the last time I read it) but I'm happy someone reminded me via Facebook. You're still the funniest blogger ever.

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