Friday, July 05, 2013

No Sparklers!

I've been making good progress on my summer bucket list so far. I've enjoyed two BBQs with family, played cornhole, picked blueberries, eaten my DQ, listened to the birds singing and have really bonded with my cousins and siblings (whole other story coming soon). It's been a fantastic time.

Now one item on my list was that I wanted to play with sparklers, and I just so had some in my car, which I drove up from Florida, not exactly on purpose, but I had them lying around my house and decided to bring them up kind of as an afterthought.

Yesterday, we had a big pool party at my grandmother's condo pool, ate a ton of food and then headed up to Dover, Delaware, the state capitol, for the fireworks display they put on. We found the perfect spot for the entire family, set up our cooler, our blankets, folding chairs and cracked open some glow sticks for the kids to play with, thanks to my sister, Beth, who had the good sense to bring them. I asked my cousin's husband for his lighter and my aunt says, or shrieks practically, "VICTORIA!!! THOSE AREN'T SPARKLERS ARE THEY??"

"Sure," I replied.

She then promptly informed me that sparklers are illegal in Delaware. Sparklers. Illegal. In Delaware.

Of all the foolishness, I thought, as I tossed them in the trash, because the last thing I need is to get pulled over and have the car searched and have them find SPARKLERS, for god's sakes. You know, with all the oxycontin trafficking and meth cooking going on around here, you'd think they'd have something better to worry about than some sparklers, but hey, I didn't want to take the chance. It'd be just my luck too that I'd get caught and end up in the county jail and with all the things my family members have been arrested for, convicted of and imprisoned for, of course I'd be the lame one who got charged with illegal possession of sparklers.

I can see myself now, in my orange jumpsuit. Another prisoner would ask me what I was doing time for. I'd shake my head and say "Sparkler conviction."

I'd probably be cell mates with the girl who had five cats instead of the legal limit of four and of course the guy who went crabbing on a Wednesday.

But alas, I still have a bucket list to complete, so this weekend, I'm going to Pennsylvania, where my rebel sister has procured some contraband sparklers and we are going to light that shit up.

**If you like my blog, you'll love my book. Check out Amateur Night at the Bubblegum Kittikat, by Victoria Fedden**


Laurel@Let's Go on a Picnic! said...

Some idiot probably stuck one in his eye or something, so now they are illegal.

JoeinVegas said...

Are they legal in Penn? Be careful, you'll put your eye out!

Common Household Mom said...

Not legal in PA either. But I won't tell.

Melanie said...

You're so sassy!


Suffer Kate said...

OMG OMG OMG OMG! I bought your book tonight! Work and the crappiness that is Memphis Comcast has conspired to keep me away, but in the end, I persevered!!!

mcgrim said...

Just don't go crying to Delaware when you burn your fingers, 'cause Delaware does not want to hear it.

Mollypants said...

As much as people think this is crazy, I agree with sparklers being illegal, at least because kids are the ones most frequently using them. They burn at 2,000 degrees, (literally) but we give them to kids as young as 3.

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