Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Me and the Presidential Debate

This is what's going to happen to me today:

Right Now - OOH, I'm so excited for the debate tonight! I'm going to make popcorn and a root beer and I'm going to watch it! Yeah!

9:00 Tonight - Yay! Debate's coming on! Popcorn's made! WooHoo!
  
9:05 - Hmm. Obama and Romney are both kind of uniquely attractive. Who is that woman? Why is she wearing that? What are they talking about?

9:06 - I think I made the popcorn too salty. What did he just say? I have no idea what that means. Wonder what my friends are saying about this on facebook.

9:06 and 30 seconds - Why is no one translating this on facebook for me?

9:07 - I think there's a raccoon in the trash outside.

9:08 - Whose American Flag pin is bigger?

(I will then spend the next five minutes writing an SNL skit in my head in which they show the debate and each time they switch back and forth between the candidates their American flag pins will get bigger and bigger in an attempt to outdo one another until they both have giant American flag necklaces on like those clocks the rappers wore in the 80s.)

9:14 - I wonder if I have any new Modern Family episodes on the DVR.  

9:16 - Maybe I won't vote at all.

9:17 - Screw this debate. I'm going to pin some shit.

This is what happens every single time. Maybe I have ADD. Am I the only person not riveted to every word these men utter?

10 comments:

Amy Bickers said...

I will vote for the man who comes out wearing a huge American flag necklace just as you described. Done.
I can't believe no one has done that skit yet. It's brilliant.

Jenni said...

No, you're not the only one-- I'm not voting, either. It's like that South Park episode where you have to choose between a douchebag and a turd sandwich--I'm just not interested in that. And it's not even these two fellows in particular--I just think all politicians are lying scumbags regardless of party affiliation.

squish said...

I drift in and out. When they talk about deficits, budgets, blah blah blah, my eyes glaze over because I failed my accounting class and suck at numbers. I perk back up when it's time to talk about social issues.

Dawn said...

As a person who loves political shows (Meet the Press, Hardball, etc.) and listens to tons of NPR, you would think I'd be a Downton Abbey level of excited for the debate, but you'd be wrong! I plan to read and maybe catch up on my new favorite show, The Mindy Project. I may check my Twitter feed. But tomorrow's recap is about all I can stomach at this point in the game. Zero interest in seeing this live.

Anonymous said...

I know who I'm voting for so these debates won't influence me at all. I plan to watch, just to be in the know. But I am so tired of the bickering, I end up switching the channel since I can't stand to sit and watch it more!

mcgrimus said...

I'm picturing Tim Meadows as Obama and Phil Hartman as Romney, with Chris Farley as the moderator. That's how long it's been since I've watched SNL actually on Saturday night. But, yeah, not a big fan of politicians in general, much less political debates.

Melanie said...

Most internet news story and/or blog "Comment Sections" have tons of ignorant blow-hards bickering and generally acting like asshats. ESPECIALLY (but not only) when the topic has to do with politics. You must edit those people out? Good for you.

Or is your readership the most sophisticated on the planet? Even better! :)

JoeinVegas said...

About the clock on a necklace? The main rapper that is famous for it lives here in Vegas, and every shot of him in a club or at an activity shows he still wears one.

Anonymous said...

Did you happen to see that Letterman (I think it was his show) used a version of your flag pin idea?
Either great minds think alike or one of his writers reads this blog.

Snow Removal Calgary said...

Debates are boring political positioning with no real discussion.

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