Friday, October 19, 2012

A Toddler Food Diary

Baby Lawns is going to be two next week and, well, boy is she ever two already. Toddlers are weird. I don't even know where to start on that one. It seems like the essence of being two is to act like you want something more than life itself, to want it to the point of hysteria and then, when you finally get it, not want it at all, which causes another fit of hysteria. You'd think I'd have this down by now. I mean, I did work in a Boca country club for four years. You'd think I'd be a pro at dealing with tantrums and unreasonable requests, but no. My kid is wearing me down, people.

Toddlers are particularly wacko when it comes to their eating habits. There's no rhyme or reason. I throw up my hands. I can't figure it out, and I've found that the ups and downs of my self esteem are inextricably tied to what and how my child eats. I've made a food diary to demonstrate.

Monday - Curry! My child eats thai curry! With TOFU! I am super mom. I'm going to win an award. I have raised a child that eats curried tofu! The other moms in playgroup are going to be so jealous. Parenting WIN!

Tuesday - What do you mean you don't like thai curry? You LOVED thai tofu curry yesterday! You don't like peanut butter either? You eat peanut butter almost every day. How do you all of a sudden not like it? But yet, egg salad (gross) that my mom makes? That's the most delicious thing you've ever eaten. Sigh.

Wednesday - If a toddler eats nothing but goldfish crackers for a solid 24 hours is that ok? Parenting fail. I think I heard somewhere that kids who eat nothing but goldfish crackers grow up to steal cars and it will be all my fault because I bought them. This would have never happened if I were french. I'm pretty sure all the little french kids are eating beetroot vinaigrette right now and not poissons d'or. I should get that book about french kids eating beets.

Thursday - YAY! She's eating a veggie burger. I have a feeling that the mom in playgroup who dehydrates her own organically grown strawberries is still judging me though.

Friday - Baby Lawns, please eat corn. I'm pretty sure you like corn. No, you cannot have mommy's coffee. No, I will not pour ketchup into your hand so you can lick it off. No, we don't have any pizza. Ok, so peas. You will eat peas because you saw the cat eating them. I'll take what I can get. Let me go put a pot of peas on the stove.

Saturday - Ok, what child won't eat a flippin' piece of breaded chicken cutlet but will stuff handfuls of CAT FOOD into her mouth? Maybe I should look into parenting classes. Is this happening because I let her watch Team Umizoomi?

Sunday - Ok, maybe I'm a good mother after all. Caprese? Bread dipped in balsamic vinegar, truffled mushroom risotto and black olives? My daughter has such an advanced palate. I bet she can get into Harvard with a palate like this. Hey everyone! My daughter eats black olives. Does YOUR two year old eat black olives? I didn't think so. I feel so delightfully smug.

Monday - So we're back to the goldfish thing again?

10 comments:

mcgrimus said...

My daughter's so picky she only eats Eggo brand waffles. If you try to slip her Aunt Jemima, she will notice.

I think, yes, Team Umizoomi is responsible for her eating cat food: it's a shapes thing.

Kirby said...

Baaa haaa haa. My son went through a phase - first a short story as example. We went to a restaurant when he was 2.5ish, it was a bbq joint, ribs or chicken, and he wanted chicken. When they brought out everyone's soup and set one in front of him, he stood on his high chair and yelled "I WANTED CHICKEN!". This was a period I had to cook him a piece of chicken most nights.

Unknown said...

totally normal.. stop obsessing about the baby's eating - she will eat when she is hungry and she will eat what she likes-but only when she likes it. for 3 years we had to call all food chicken because one grandchild would only eat "chicken" if he found out it was anything else he wouldn't touch it-the other grandchild you ask.. if it was snake,lion,dino, alligator,or any other odd or disgusting food he love it...my own kids? they ate enough to keep them alive i guess lol i was very young...but we allowed them to eat when they were hungry. husband and i didn't want food to be an issue as they grew up.

Anonymous said...

Lol, yay it's not just mine, one day it's her favorite the next you'd think I was trying to poison her. But black olives are alway her favorite. My mom fed her fish sticks once and that made me want to hurl.

JoeinVegas said...

Look up, only another two or three years for the tantrums. The food thing will last until after teen ager, but hopefully by then they can fully ask for things.

Anonymous said...

My son (born in Oct 2010) eats black olives, and hot dogs more then I want to admit. The day he ate broccoli and hummus was an awesome day that has yet to be repeated... :( I enjoy reading your posts about Baby Lawns.

Renee said...

So nice to know that I'm not the only parent on the good parent/ bad parent food coaster. At 3 mine will announce she hates vegetables and turn around the next day and shovel in the squash. Most foods seem to be on a love/loathe rating system determined by what I can only assume is her astrological forecast and a set of yhatzee dice.

Anonymous said...

Oh, this sounds so familiar. . . and my youngest is 31. Believe me, these parenting experiences stick with you, but after while, you can laugh about them! JoeinVegas is right. . .the tantrums stop, but the food preferences stay unpredictable. When our older son was in second grade, he wanted a tuna sandwich in his lunch bag every day except one during the school year. Go figure!

Anonymous said...

LOL Ha! Thanks for posting this! My toddler turns two in a week and a half and your "diary" sounds eerily familiar. Toddlers are such a trip!!

Anonymous said...

Expect it to get worse before it gets better.

At 18 months my son would work through most of the little appetizer dishes (panchan) at a korean restaurant with me. At 2 his favorite food was sardines. But the palate has been narrowing since. Now that he's almost 4, 80% of his caloric intake comes from pancakes, pizza, pasta with cheese, bread, chicken nuggets and ice cream. The only relatively healthy foods we can get him to eat are bell peppers (in any color except green), scallions (only the green part), "salad" (iceberg or romaine lettuce with blue cheese dressing and absolutely nothing else) and smoked salmon.

- lowwall

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