Friday, August 03, 2012

The Post of No Consequences

A few years back I wrote my first "Post of No Consequences," a Post-Secret sort of thing, where I explained that I dream of having a day of no consequences, where nothing I do, or say, or eat will affect my life. It would be a day of swearing, debauchery and cheese; a day where I could get away with anything and the next day it would be as if none of it had ever existed. Who wouldn't long for just one day of that kind of freedom? 

I used the last "Post of No Consequences" to vent a few secrets and insults and annoying little "I wish I could say thats." It was enormously satisfying and even more satisfying were the comments readers left, venting their own secret desires, hates and frustrations. The whole thing was fantastically cathartic and I didn't feel the need to do it again until this week.

It hasn't been a horrible week by any means, but it hasn't been great either. A few things ticked me off and stressed me out, but I realized I've had a lot of crap building up inside of me and I need to get it out. This might actually be because I haven't been blogging. I took a writing break once I finished and started editing my memoir because writing a whole book and then revising it is a long slog. I took a brief writing vacation, so before I start blogging again, I figured I'd clear my head by venting again and I invite you to do the same.

Here are my secrets, my aggravations and the things I wish I could say to a whole lot of people. Some of these are directed to a specific person and some of them can apply to several people. Many of them are inspired by the crap I see people post on facebook and wish I could comment honestly on.

1. I understand that you're passionate about your politics, but you're a bully and you are one of the most intolerant people I've ever met, which makes you a gigantic hypocrite.

2. Your baby isn't cute. At all. And stop doing that to it. Because it makes it worse.

3. Even a stripper would think your wedding dress was tacky and trashy.

4. The reason why is because I heard your husband beg another woman for sex three days before he proposed to you. So there's your answer.

5. THERE IS NOTHING ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU EXCEPT THAT YOU ARE A CRAZY PILL ADDICT.

6. One day.

7. I overheard you guys making fun of me. Whatever. Make fun of me all you want. It's motivation. Plus, I know you're jealous.

8. You are depressed because you are nothing but a spoiled mess who has never had to work or go to school or function or do anything whatsoever for yourself and all that idleness and all that doing of nothing and never having had to accomplish anything has left you with nothing to provide a sense of purpose and self esteem. So stop with the drugs and the therapy and get a fucking job and take a class and shut the hell up about your non-existent problems.

9. Several people warned me about you and I didn't believe them. Turned out they were right. You are shallow, narcissistic and materialistic. Oh, and fake. 

10. I'm on to you. The ass kissing is because you're after the money. I get it. It makes you feel special. Whatever. It's just pathetic. Reminds me of the nerdy girls in school who ran after the popular girls and copied everything they did in hopes that one day the popular girls would like them. Guess what? They never did.

11. The other night I had a dream about you and we were playing with our children and you asked me to come sleep in your bed with you. It wasn't something sexual. It was just to sleep and then something woke me up and I was crushed by the grief and the loss and the loneliness and all I wanted was to go back to sleep and have the dream again, but I couldn't get it back.

12. When I first met you, I really respected you. I thought you were different. Now I pretty much just think you're an idiot. And mean.

13. Could you for once in your life ever just once ever please for the love of God correctly punctuate your Facebook statuses it drives me insane to read your run-ons

14. I love the hell out of you but please stop with those corny, trite cliches all the time. 

15. I've spent a long, long time worrying that you and you and you and all of you over there too were going to be disappointed in me, but I realized I am disappointed in you. Very.


16. I hate being nice to you when I'd really rather beat the living shit out of you with a boot.


What are your secrets? Whisper in my ear. Comment anonymously if you need to. I won't tell anyone.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. Yes, your mom is dying, but you still have her. I lost my dad 4 months ago and that doesn't seem to trump your "loss".

2. Please get a life, yes your daughter and son no longer need you holding their hands. You need to move on!

Mary Giannone said...

Phew! Dark. It only left me feeling sad like maybe some of these things are about me, and that you act really nice to me but you secretly have all these nasty thoughts about me building up inside you like a coke bottle ready to explode. I mean, you could easily say to any one individual that asks you about this, "Oh no, it wasn't about you." or, "Maybe just one or two could be applied to you, but, not as badly as I made it out in this post, I was just venting." But it doesn't matter because I will always wonder if that was just another nice thing you said while secretly wanting to beat me with a boot.

To remedy this, I encourage you to send me private messages with any negative feelings you have about me. I know that might seem out of your comfort zone. You might be afraid of the backlash because I know other people have given you backlash for shit like that all your life. But I really really like the negative feedback because it helps me grow and change. If it gets to be too much, I'll let you know, nicely. But it would make me feel so much better and trust your feedback so much more if I knew that you had total permission to express all the negative thoughts you have about me, too.

I'm not saying I'm sitting here paranoid that all these things you listed are about me. There are a few that could apply, but even those I'm OK with. I'm just saying that now I know that you struggle sometimes with saying what's REALLY in your heart--- well--- with ME you don't have to. With other people, it might be wise. But with me, please, say what's real. Put it all on the table. I like to work through a whole disgusting pile of repugnant bullshit but make progress with it and know that it was all REAL, than to put a lace tablecloth over the pile and spray lots of rose petals and lavender scents into the air to try to cover it up.

I know not everyone is like that, but, I am. So now you have permission.

One of my weaknesses is always wondering what people REALLY think about me, and not what they just say. One way to alleviate that anxiety is for them to be honest about the negative things, so that when they are being positive, I know it's real.

FreeDragon said...

I'll leave my name, but not who I'm irked by.
1. I know when you were a child, your family spoiled you. Those days are over. The world does not revolve around you. Grow up.
2. It is really not necessary to be so defensive when I am mad with you. Admit you're wrong, realize I have a right to my feelings, and let's move on. Instead of you dragging things out forever.
3. Stop using your illness as an excuse to say mean things.
4. Nobody likes you because you're a passive-aggressive jackass. Learn to co-exist in the world with the rest of the normal humans.
5.There's a thing on your computer called spell check. It's okay to use it.
6. If you're not turning, there's no reason to drive 15 miles with your turn signal on.
7. Stop. Throwing. Trash. Out. Of. Your. Car. You nasty assed pig.
8. If I didn't ask for your opinion, I don't want it.
9. If I ask you not to call, Don't Call Me! And no, I do not want to buy anything from you, you telemarketing whore.

Anonymous said...

I secretly hate my stepmother and step-siblings. I was an only child. My parents got divorced when I was 18. Within 3 months, my dad married a woman with 9 children by 6 or 7 different men. She got pregnant almost immediately, so now I have a half-brother I barely know and frankly, am not interested in knowing. These people, in my opinion, are low-class and trashy. I loathe them and my dad, too but I have to be facebook friends with them and pretend like we're family because I would feel like a judgemental asshole or a spoiled brat that just wants to keep her Daddy to herself if I didn't. Fortunately, I do not live with them and am starting my own family, so it isn't as huge of a deal as it was a few years ago, but I miss my dad. Did I mention he drinks now? My mother is married to a perfectly nice man with no children, but she has an insane persecution complex; she thinks everyone is out to get her, and pretty much every single time she calls me it turns into an hour-long rant against someone or the other that has screwed her over. Sometimes I wish we could just talk about normal stuff like other mothers and daughters. Thanks Wide Lawns, I actually feel a little better now.

Whiskeymarie said...

1. We're all sick of you wallowing in self-pity. Get over it, move on already. They weren't worth a second of your time, let alone months of beating yourself up. It has become tedious and boring. Please STOP.
2. I'm tired of you inflicting your problems on me because you're family. You're a hypochondriac who needs to get a job to make you think about someone other than yourself and to set an example for your child.
3. I'm on to you- if you truly didn't give a crap you'd stop ripping me and your ex on social media. Knock it off because I am starting to feel like taking the LOW road for a while.
4. I wish I had never met you. You remind me of things I don't want to be reminded of. You are unrealized possibilities and regret of chances not taken. I will never tell you this.

FreshHell said...

Okay. Love this. To the bitch at work: I don't know why in the hell you care whether I open the kitchen window or not but if it makes you feel better to slam it shut each time and tattle to your boss who is passive agressive and a micromanager, fine.You clearly are one unhappy little bitch. I just loved the way you let the door close on me when we unfortunately arrived at the same time one morning. That was mature. If you hate your job so much, please go find another one.

Anonymous said...

I'm in love with two people. One is aware of the other. One is not...

Headant said...

All of you seem to care more about some dead celebrity than your own families!

katri said...

Ooh, this is great, thanks for giving me an excuse to vent!

1. You're stupid and ungrateful for complaining about how your parents don't understand you're AN ARTIST. Also, your new girlfriend will realise you're an alcoholic with a terrible personality and in the future she will be just another "evil ex-girlfriend" you love to complain about. Hey guess what? The only thing in common with your girlfriends was YOU, and YOU'RE A FUCK-UP.

2. Your boyfriend is a selfish wiener who has no idea how real life works. Please realise that sooner rather than later.

3. I love you more than any other people, but for Pete's sake stop telling me what to do all the time, you don't always know what's the best way to do something.

4. I don't hate you because you're crazy, I hate you because you refuse to admit it and get help.

5. I've accepted you being a transvestite (Didn't take much accepting, to be honest, it's just not a big deal at all.) so why can't you accept me?

Anonymous said...

I have a list long but I will only share my top two.

1) OMG, shut the eff up already and quit talking about everything and nothing. Noone cares about every little thing you do. I would love to have some peace and quiet so I can concentrate on my work.

2) Quit trying to self diagnose yourself with every disease on the planet Earth. Perhaps if you lost some (a lot) of weight your "symptoms" would go away. And quit talking with that pathetic whiney voice, it's annoying and makes me not like you even more.

Thanks, I needed that.
STL Fan

Anonymous said...

1)We became friends "online" after being two divorced "40-somethings" playing with the internet in 2001...in only the way that middle aged people can do - we were late blooming geeks. We chatted online; emailed; phone conversations. Wrote our hearts out about the ups and downs in our lives. Hardly a week went by in all those years, that we didn't stay in touch. And finally, we crossed the line from friends, to "crush" to "wow, we really might have something here" and ... you gave me more attention than normal,with plans of visiting each other, then suddenly three months of odd silence. I asked what was going on. You said you "suddenly" met someone from a Catholic dating site and God was behind this. You knew her six months and now were engaged. I guess that's what guilty Catholic men do when they wanna get in a woman's panties and are afraid a bolt of lightening will strike them dead if they have sex before marriage. So you knew her six (bad word) months and then married her...after telling me two months before the wedding day.

You broke my heart but ...it made me smarter. I am OK now..I am ready to meet a more mature man who would never do that and play two women at a time.

p.s. thanks Wide Lawns, I really have not admitted this to anyone before.

kerry said...

Oh, a day of no consequences... wouldn't that be nice.

Oh, yeah, if any of your complaints are about me, please let me know and I'll do my best to be better. I'd hate to annoy you. I like you too much for that.

I've only got one rant at the moment: that someone is not *nearly* as tolerant as they think, nor as respectful. Yet claims it at every opportunity. No, you are snarky and dismissive and I tend to have a short attention span for dealing with you.

Green said...

1. I am so, SO lonely. You want to know what I want for my birthday? To spend time with you. All I want is for people to want to be around me, and I kill myself trying to be someone people want to be around, and it gets me nowhere.

2. You are a terrible, terrible mother and I hate you so much for it, and can't be your friend anymore, which is saying a lot considering #1 above. I put more effort into your child than you do. You want to know why she behaves so well for me and not you? Because I pay attention to her, and use positive reinforcement, and am consistent. I have lost almost all respect for you. The only reason we still talk is so I can maintain a connection with your daughter, because she has known me for all her life that she remembers, and I want her to have somebody to go to when she's scared. Of you.

Living in Muddy Waters said...

I love when you do the day of no consequences! Yes, I did unfriend you...and you...and you. No, it wasn't an accident. I unfriended all 20 of you dead weight people who were dragging me down. You may be a big wig in a small town but I am once again living in the real world and you will never be anywhere but RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! Take that bitches!

One Mean MFA said...

1. I'm having a hard time adjusting to this city, even though I've been here for 2 years.
2. I miss my crazy family.
3. I'm scared to have babies, because I don't think Husband will want to have sex with me after he sees a baby emerge from my vagina.
4. I am so freakin' lazy.
5. I want to stop working, go to culinary school, and then become a film critic.
6. I'm so sick of hearing about Chick-fil-a.
7. I'm mildy disappointed in my ability to make friends.
8. I'm pretty sure people hate me, but I'm not sure why.

Anonymous said...

You are my mother. I love you. But could you please sometimes just shut the fuck up and listen to me. I don't care if it was Tuesday or Wednesday and if the blouse you bought was on sale. My husband has cancer. Could you just hear MY pain for once. I know I never needed as much from you as my sisters, but I need you now. I need my mother.

Your boyfriend sucks. I wish you could see that. We can't do anything as couples because he's such a dick. I know you like his, but jeez, there's more to life. Must you let him rule yours with his dick? I can't say anything about it because then I would just be the jealous friend that wants her BFF. Well, I am your friend that wants her BFF. Keep looking, he's out there. You are way more worthy than what this guy has to offer.

I did a way better job of raising my kids than you did. So much for being beautiful, huh?

Quit throwing your cigarette butts out in the parking lot. Pig.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Your #8 perfectly describes my SIL. I may need to steal that one someday.

Anonymous said...

You go to church all the time, and look down your nose with condemnation at people who don't go to church.
In the meantime, you're hateful as hateful can be; a liar, a cheat, and a lazy good-for-nothing that nobody likes. You're twice divorced and three times married, who cheats on your husband with your church's pastor.
You think I don't know about that but I overheard your conversation with your pastor/lover when you didn't know I was around. The things you said about having sex with him left no doubt that you had done it many times.

Anonymous said...

The reason you don't have a job right now is because you TOLD EVERYONE that you WANTED to go on unemployment when your first job ran out. And now no one is "helping" you find a job - too damn bad. It's your job to find a job not ours. So stop bugging me to "let's DOOOOO something" because you're bored senseless sitting at home all day. And stop mooching off of everyone because you don't have any money. Learn how to be a friend again. Until you do just stay away.

Anonymous said...

Where to start .... Where to start?
1. Working in a restaurant is my full-time job, and an exhausting one at that. The difference between a good tip and a bad one is not much. If you can afford $100 for dinner, then you can probably spring for a 20% tip. And it's not my fault prices have increased--do some basic math and you won't be shocked when you receive the bill. My opinion of people who don't know how to tip: ill-bred, ignorant, provincial, backwards, cheapskates.

2. I like you very much personally, and I know you don't have a lot of money because you are workinng hard on a new career. but when you come in and use the WiFi for hours on end and have me refill your water 7 times and keep your space at the bar clean, for pity's sake, tip something. I am starting to feel resentful.

3. When I am busy in the bar and you are just standing there waiting for me to make a drink for your table, answer the flippin' phone. Seriously, I am gonna
smack you upside your oversized head with it one of these days.

4. When I'm at work, I am there to work. I wish all y'alls would get a clue about work ethic. We all socialize to a certain extent, and that's fine, but it's obvious who is slacking. And for those more responsible folks, please quit yer bitching about who doesn't do his or her work. Just suck it up and stop tattling. The problem employees always go away or self-destruct given enough time.

5. Sweetheart, you are an adorably hot mess, but the dermal piercings freak me out. From someone with a semi-unusual piercing, but you don't hear me talking about it daily. Also, how can one person find so many ways to be late?

6. Your attitude when it comes to dealing with problems in your business often seems flip and cavalier.

7. Your art is okay, but you're a bit of a one trick pony. Stop pretending you are a tatoo artist--the (unlicensed, unprofessional) work you've done on the one person stupid enough to let you go at him with a needle is regrettable to say the least. It's like a little kid who goes crazy with stickers all over a window. So tacky. Also, you are still a crappy boyfriend (or whatever) to my friend. I wish she would dump you. And I'm pretty sure you took money from me last night. Even if you didn't, I will always suspect you because of your idiotic behavior a few weeks ago. You are a fool, and the fact that I no longer consider you a friend has been immensely freeing.

8. Maybe if your baseline emotion wasn't anxiety, I would make more of an effort to be around you. We just wind each other up. It is sad and unpleasant for both of us, and I don't know how to make it better.

9. Couldn't you, just for once, stop trying to be the social director for everything?

Anonymous said...

asshole (noun)- 1.The anus.2. One who takes his frustrations out on those who have nothing to do with it. 3.You.
bully (noun)-1.A person who torments or persecutes a weaker person. 2. A person who does not believe in karma. 3. You.
survivor (noun) 1. One who triumphs over adversity or cruelty. 2. Me.
The sun don't shine on the same dog everyday, bitches. I won't have to lift a finger. Give someone enough rope....

farmkid said...

Dad:

Your mother was the Wicked Bitch of the West. I know that this never occurred to you, as she had bent you to her cruel will and crushed your ambition. But she insulted my mother as unworthy of you, while keeping you from your potential. She threw infantile tantrums to get her way.

And she got it. You stayed at home rather than going out into the world, and you turned your anger inward toward yourself, your wife, and your children. I hated your nightly screaming while my brother and I lay upstairs, ostensibly asleep, but wide-eyed in terror.

My mother asked me – an innocent ten-year-old – whether she should divorce you, a question that revealed the weaknesses in both your characters: yours, because you were so vilely tempered, and hers because she would labor a young child with such a heavy burden. I had no answer, but broke down in tears.

But I was able to grow up and leave home; Mom, not so much. In the decades since, I recognize that your worst flaws show up increasingly in me. I, like my younger brother – and, I believe you – have spent lifetimes in depression, but unlike you, my brother and I have sought treatment. You haven't, as you've maintained that Jesus will heal you. And as for Mom, she has told me within the last year that she'd like to walk out and not look back.

But He hasn't, at least as far as the world at large is concerned. Sure: nobody at your church would suspect what an IED of impotent anger you are, as you are all Sweetness and Light to the congregation there. On the other hand, it's horribly embarrassing to go to a restaurant with you, since you regularly reduce waitresses to tears (I have to chase them down with $10 pre-check-out tips and apologies).

And now, in both out old ages, when we live far apart and see each other only two or three times a year, you dump the fabled “Jesus Talk” on me and me brother each time we visit, stressing how WE are not saved and how important it is for us to get right with God so that we'll see you in the afterlife.

As an atheist, I believe in no hereafter, but if I'm wrong, I don't want to greet you in the next world, as I don't want to end up where you're going.


College room-mate:

We met as sophomores of about the same financial and educational origin, which is to say, lower middle class, and standard late sixties public high school. We had fun in college (some, I admit, at your expense) and graduated.

Forty years later, we're in different places: I went to work and stayed there; you didn't. For instance, you were fired from a bank job for shooting rubber bands at your coworkers, and didn't stop when ordered. You drifted from job to job, all of which were unconnected with your education, with periodic interludes of unemployment.

Now, I'm retired; you're unemployed. I'm sorry for you, but I feel little sympathy, as you have consistently made poor choices for forty years. Unfortunately, there is no way to roll back those decades and start over. I know that you derive comfort from the financial contributions of your various friends over the years, but – for me – no. You chose, but not wisely.

Anonymous said...

VACCINATE YOUR CHILDREN, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!

Jtn said...

1) I'm sorry you are old and have a degenerative condition but you have turned yourself into a human potato. While I am cooking every meal, cleaning everything, and even giving you baths, you just sit around and watch Wheel of Fortune. Please do not bitch at me because I threw out your cheap ass 10 year old bottle of Chardonnay that you wanted to keep as a gift someday if you ever went out which hasn't happened in 10 years.

2) the reason I live 1500 miles away from where I grew up is because you people are intolerant, hypocritical, small minded bigots who think uttering the word Jesus is a get out of jail free card for every racist, ignorant, and ugly thought in your heads. Your life sucks because you made bad choices consistently through your entire life which include having me when you were way too young. Just because I chose to not have kids and get a phd doesn't mean I'm automatically a communist... Morons.

Anonymous said...

1. I know you still read my blog. I can see your town on my feed. I know it's you leaving me nasty comments when you think I need to be knocked off my high horse. Here's the deal: you are a loser, and when I was with you, I was a loser too. YOU are the one who left ME. Not to mention the fact that you were horrible to me when we were together. I have every right to get on with my life and be happy. STOP LOOKING BACK.

2. Stop commenting on his facebook. He only hasn't deleted you yet for fear of the backlash.

3. MOM. We've been so close for years, but lately I've noticed that you never ask me how school is going, how work is, what my life goals/plans are. All you want to know is if I'm losing weight. And while I'm not happy with my size, I HAVE finally bounced back from a terrible eating disorder and I'm eating HEALTHY again. Please stop pushing your fad diets on me and telling me how well they have worked "for you". You always have a new fad. I'm focused on healthy eating, not eating the same food over and over again.

4. I know you are depressed. I get it. But at the same time, you can't put all this on me. I've tried to help you every way I know how. You need to get real help, and I can't MAKE you do that.

5. Do you love me? I feel like I'm still waiting for permission to love you. I can't let my heart run free without it. I'm terrified. I wish we had deep conversations about us, but I don't know where to start.

6. I still think about you. Fuck you for having such a hold over my emotions from 10 years in the past.

7. Please die. Seriously. You are the only person in the world I have ever wished that on, and with absolutely no regret. Please just do it soon. You have no idea how many lives you're ruining just by being around.

8. Can you keep your ignorant beliefs to yourself? Work is not the proper environment for airing them. Neither is my living room.

9. I don't know what your problem is these days, but the more time that goes by, the less it hurts. You have chosen this path for yourself, when you wake up alone I hope you feel good about it.

10. Did you really not learn from my mistakes at all? I thought you were a feminist.

Oh man. I could do this all day, but I'll stop here.

Anonymous said...

I missed you terribly and thought of you often. So glad you're back.

Sincerely,

Michelle in Iowa

miniowa said...

1. I am so sad that you grew into such a hard, judgmental adult. You have SO much anger

2. You have WAY too much talrnt to throw it away for a guy. I feel angry, betrayed and so sad.

Anonymous said...

1. I know you are depressed, I know you have PTSD and I feel like an awful friend for saying this, but I am tired of looking after your fragile emotions all the time. I love you so I will keep helping you, I just needed to say that.

2. You are 28 years old. It is time to get your freaking drivers licence. I am sick of having to drive you places if I want your company!

3. I know you consider yourself more a part of the family because they've known you longer, but I am married into this family and have every right to be part of it as well. Stop being so bloody dramatic.

4. Yes I earn more than you. That doesn't mean I should pay for you. I have a mortgage too.

Thanks for this!!

Anonymous said...

1. Stop proclaiming your political views as they are based on no actual information. And when I tell you some facts that fly in the face of your unsubstantiated views at least admit that you really don't know what you're talking about.

2. Stop proclaiming, "It's good to be the King!" You aren't the king of anything, anyplace, or anyone, ever. Self promotion is sometimes necessary but you are boring me. Also, stop overusing exclaimation points and random capitalization.

3. Learn to use cruise control properly. And, if someone makes a driving error, don't flip them off and/or act like you never make mistakes on the road.

4. Use your damn turn signals when you are turning or changing lanes.

5. Don't say that merchandise is great and a fantastic price and then claim you'll be back next week.

6. Try to stand up straight. Your terrible posture makes my back hurt more than it already does.

7. Buy some fruit and vegetables once in a while.

8. Don't pretend you're doing me a favor.

9. Treat animals with kindness. Don't get a pet if you aren't going to or don't know how to take care of it properly.

10. Stop assuming perfect strangers have the same political beliefs as you. If you are unable to stop, don't act surprised when they say they don't agree with you or refuse to talk about the subject.

11. If English is not your first language, don't print a menu, instructions, etc., without having a native English speaker proofread and edit the text. The same logic applies if you are a native English speaker and are writing something in another language in which you are not fluent.

Tooter said...

Don't post political posts on your Facebook page and get upset when someone posts a reply that disagrees with you.

Anonymous said...

1) Evolution does NOT mean your grandparents were monkeys. You are so obtuse. You talk about things and you don't even know what you're talking about.

2) Why the heck won't you invite me? I'm fun and can be a hoot at parties! You never even give me a chance. It was easier when I was fat cuz at least I could blame my lack of invites on my weight. Now that it's not there, it must be me. Crap.

3) I unfriended you on Facebook because I'm so sick of your anti-Obama posts I could scream. I'm not going read another one. And your girlfriend is going with you because all she does on FB is gush over you. Yuck.

4) Dad, I'm over you. I blocked you everywhere. I don't care if I ever speak to you again and I'm not sorry. You're finally getting the treatment you deserve after a lifetime of hell.

5)Daughter... I love you, but you're a bitch.

6) Son, I wish you would grow the hell up and get a decent job. It's killing me. I kind of want to keep my money for retirement.

7) Step-daughter's mother... you're evil and horrible and I can't figure out why my husband stuck his dick in you 16 years ago instead of using his own fist. What a waste of semen.

< / rant >

Anonymous said...

You're family is ruining our marriage. The more they are around the worse it gets. I know you don't see that. They are nice people but smothering and tend to suck the air out of all situations. I'm at the end of my rope and the fact they are staying with us for another week is going to drive me over the edge. I know they can't help it but they need to just go away or I will have to.

Anonymous said...

You did not have post partum depression. You just ran smack into the reality that the world doesn't revolve around you. Get an effing job and stop bitching about everything on facebook!

michelle said...

Stop assuming I'm mad at you just because I don't want to text with you all day long, every damn day. For crying out loud, I have two businesses to run and gardening to do and some kids to feed and a husband to talk to. Everything is not always about you and your drama.

Anonymous said...

1. I cannot wait for my kid to graduate and leave for college. I raised a sibling, then got pregnant young. My entire life has been for other people. I want to live life for me for a change.

2. Posting mean-spirited political, anti-gay or anti-abortion posts on Facebook totally makes you a hypo-Christian. Love people. Don't judge. And if you can't do that, don't be an asshole on Facebook. People like you is what makes people run screaming from Christianity.

3. There, they're and their-three entirely different meanings. NOT INTERCHANGEABLE!

4. The reason we aren't friends anymore is because you're a neglectful mother who constantly puts her need for penis before four awesome kids. You don't need a man in your life, you need to learn to stand on your own. And by the time you figure it out, it'll be too late to fix things with your family.

5. Your baby's name is the trashiest thing I have ever heard and should have come with a Fisher-Price "My First Stripper Pole".

6. We aren't in junior high any more. No way in heck am I passing the guy you like a note.

7. Aunt-you are fifty-eight years old. Stop acting like Paris Hilton and be a grown up. The world doesn't owe you anything. And don't complain about hating your $60,000 dollar a year job to me. I'd kill to have a job that paid that well. Or a job, period.

8. Mom-go visit Grandpa. Or at least call him more. He misses you and isn't going to be around forever.

9. Brother-I love you more than life, but you need to calm down before you keel over from a heart attack.

10. I miss you and I want to make things right but I don't know if I can.

11. I miss you and I wish you'd picked me as the friend you kept.

12. Drinking won't fix your problems. They'll still be there when you sober up, and if you keep making questionable choices when you drink they're going to keep getting bigger.

wendywc said...

I'm so tired of you leeching off of me. I wish you would get off your ass instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead of bitching when something goes wrong, why can't you lift a finger and do something yourself. Others would be more than willing to help you if you do.

Please finish school and stop smoking weed. Yes, I know about it and I'm disappointed, but I'm not your mom so it's not my place to say.

Stop enabling your kids. They are not helpless. They are in their 20's now and because of you, they have turned into losers.

Stop acting holier than thou. No, I don't have the experience that you have, but I've shared my knowledge to help you at work. It's too bad you don't do the same.

Anonymous said...

Late to the party, but--

Dear sister: I hated you before you got cancer. You were a princess who thought the world revolved around you, and Mom and Dad bought into it. The entire time we were growing up I was the "oh yeah, and her too" afterthought kid.

But you finally had to deal with something you couldn't flirt or sweet-talk your way out of. You had to face it head-on, like the rest of us have to deal with the crap in our lives. Now that you've been knocked off your horse, you've become a nice person. I would not have wished your illness on you but I'm glad you changed and grew and we get along better.

jenjellybeans said...

Please stop trying to strike up a conversation in the ladies' room. I don't want to chat with you when I'm not wearing pants.

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