Thursday, May 17, 2012

Nasty Assed Recipes - Cole Slaw?? Dear God

I just accidentally found a nasty-assed recipe that needs to be shared. I am deeply horrified by this one.

Cole Slaw is a favorite in my family. We eat it with almost everything and my mom makes it really good - homemade. I also love it how my mother-in-law makes it with Maries Cole Slaw dressing which is kind of sweet and tart and has celery seeds in it. It's good and easy and you can add all kinds of good things to it like Craisins, apples, nuts or whatever you like.

It's pretty hard to make a nasty-assed cole slaw. You'd think anyway. My grandmother succeeded in making hers disgusting by adding green peppers and yellow hot dog mustard but I happen to hate both of those things. If you enjoy them, then you probably wouldn't find her slaw as gross as I do.

But Jesus Lord in Heaven Above, condensed soup??? In cole slaw? My very soul aches at the thought of such a thing.

Now, I've embraced the time suck that is Pinterest in recent months. You can follow me if are so inclined. I have a board, with my sister, for nasty assed recipes because Pinterest is a hot bed of them, let me tell you. A hot bed. A snake pit of gross food. There's plenty of good stuff on there too, but you can really go whole hog on the nasty assery. I had no idea the things one could do with raw cake mix powder and I had no clue how much people love food the color of Windex. I found the cole slaw with the soup in it through Pinterest. I was looking for a casserole, found a pin, clicked on the Campbell's Soup site and then started browsing their soup addled concoctions, where I realized that there are people who work for these processed food companies whose entire jobs consist of coming up with nasty-assed recipes featuring their products. Can you even imagine? 

Someone got paid to come up with a cole slaw recipe, called mysteriously "Shortcut Coleslaw" that is bound with, gulp, a whole can of condensed, non-cooked, cream of celery soup. I might hurl just thinking about it, and actually, it has hot dog mustard in it too along with mayo, sugar and vinegar, so I just don't get what is a short cut about this because isn't cole slaw cabbage with mayo, sugar and vinegar anyway? Where exactly is the short cut coming from here and why is the soup even necessary? Wouldn't that be an extra, un-needed ingredient? Help me to understand.


Here, go see for yourself. Shortcut Coleslaw.

12 comments:

Miss Kitty said...

[vomit]

Thanks, WL. I just ate. WTF is that, condensed soup in cole slaw? I don't like slaw to begin with, and that just affirms my dislike for the dish. BLEH!

BTW: I did get your e-mail. I've just been in Schedule Hell. Will e-mail back soon. Sorry for the trouble.

Shannon Culver said...

Seriously? You're now admitting - not outright telling us your full name, and no less including a PHOTO on your Pinterest site? Girl, I had to buy a book (which I really enjoyed) to get that info. I can't believe you're just putting it out there! Sheesh. Give us long time followers a minute while you just go putting those details right out on the internets. What are you thinking?

Lis said...

I... Just... there are no words... Isn't non-cooked condensed cream of _____ soup like really thick and globby? Would it even taste good? Like if you just tasted it alone? I haven't ever used it because my husband won't eat casseroles so I've never really felt the need to try it but I would NEVER think of putting it in cole slaw... like you said, cole slaw is pretty "short" to make already!

Wide Lawns said...

Shannon yeah I just decided last year or so that I no longer gave a shit. I'm not working and I don't have any students who'd look me up anymore so whatever and plus this makes it easier for people to find my other writing and when I publish outside stuff now I can tell you guys about it.

Courtney said...

Speaking of nasty-assery, I haven't watched day-time programming on the Food Network in a long time, and I just caught an episode of Sandra Lee's show. Sandra needs to quit day-drinking, because her "recipes" are not okay. She just made some unholy combination involving kiwi, instant cheesecake, and green jello. Served with sangria.

Anonymous said...

Just curious is it: My mom makes it really good or My makes it really well?

Sundar said...

Funny!!Could you post some info on how to get hold of your book?

Melanie said...

I have a quick (read: lazy) way of making cole slaw which I think tastes pretty good -- and it's my unique concoction, too.
Take a bag of pre-washed, pre-grated cole slaw mix (cabbage, carrots). Mix it with an appropriate amount of your favorite bottled cole slaw dressing. Add: diced tomatoes and croutons. Yummy!!! (Important note: The tomatoes and croutons will be gross, about an hour or two after mixing, so don't count on leftovers -- Only mix as much as you plan to eat right away!)

Anonymous said...

The picture included with the recipe looked okay.
But I echo the thought, why bother with the soup in the first place?

Anonymous said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. And it tasted a lot better than that disgusting coleslaw.

Gwyne said...

Cream of celery soup is a real thing? Dear God.

dez said...

I understand- take it from wence it comes. It's a Campbell's website. So their recipe process is to take an otherwise normal recipe and dump a can of soup in it. For no apparent reason...

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