Tuesday, August 30, 2011

An Announcement

So a few weeks ago, before I went on vacation, I had a discussion with someone about why I can't get a book written and I started really thinking about it while I was away. There's no excuse. I have at least four books in me, possibly more and they want to be written. Maybe it's self sabotage? Maybe I'm lazy? Maybe I'm scared of the rejection or have ADD or all of the above?

I'm writing my first memoir and I need you all to keep me accountable, to kick my ass and email me and pester me and bother me about getting it done. I have to do this.

Here's the plan. I must finish it. I must try to get an agent and if I can't, I'll publish it myself as an e-book. Another thing I considered is that a lot of bloggers books are rehashed posts. This drives me nuts. I want to give my readers new material if they're going to pay to read my writing. I'm writing about my days at the strip club, which I've never blogged much about and I think you'll like those tales if I can get the work done. It's called Amateur Night at the Bubblegum Kittikat.

I'd like to give you a little teaser (remember the formatting goes awry when I paste from Word):

"I passed the Bubblegum Kittikat all the time. It wasn’t one of those sign-free topless bars in the middle of nowhere, behind an industrial complex under a highway overpass. The Bubblegum Kittikat was next to a Holiday Inn across from a Target. It was a present shaped building, wrapped in mirrors, ribboned in hot pink neon. An obscenely large, diamond shaped sign announced South Florida’s premiere gentlemen’s club from the parking lot where an attendant stood at all hours directing traffic with two flashlights as if he were landing private jets on some exclusive runway. I always thought that was overkill, but nothing at the Bubblegum Kittikat was understated, except perhaps me."

26 comments:

Robin said...

OMG, OMG, OMG! Finally, my most favorite blogger is writing a book! My friend just did a thing where he got donations to help him publish his book. Worst case scenario, I'm sure you could go that route. indiegogo.com

Dawn said...

I love it already! It will be the first blogger book I spend money on, so get cracking, lady.

@upinthebush said...

I love that you want to give your readers new material. It's a disappointment when I spend money on a book, only to find out that it's the same material, just edited a touch. The topic, combined with your unique narration will definitely be a hit. On a completely other note, I think I remember some of your stories taking place in Atlanta. I'm in Atlanta now and really feel like a fish out of water, people look at me strangely and think I'm odd. Do you have any tips for things to do during the day while the b.f. is at work? Any Atlanta 'must see' type things?

Melanie said...

Years ago when you were still working for the rich people, I told you that when (not if, but when) you were published, I would buy a copy of your book for myself and several more for all my female relatives and friends. I still feel the same.... maybe even stronger. This is your time. The world is ready to embrace you and all your talent!!!

Elaine said...

"I chugged into the parking lot of the Bubblegum Kittikat in my '77 Chevette just about every night. It wasn’t one of those trying to be oh-so-discreet sign-free topless bars tucked away in the middle of nowhere, behind an industrial complex under a highway overpass. The Kittikat was next to a Holiday Inn, across a busy boulevard facing the local Target, where the emerging housewives occasionally searched the 'Kat's parking lot for their husband's pickup truck. It was a rectangular shaped building, wrapped like a garish birthday present, festooned with security cameras and covered with pulsating hot pink neon signs, slyly beckoning passersby, over a gaudy peeling purple paint job. A large, flashing diamond shaped sign rotating slowly high above the parking lot trumpeted South Florida’s premiere gentlemen’s club, where an earnest and heavily perspiring attendant stood directing traffic with two lighted neon pointers as if he were responsible for the safe passage of million dollar G4's on some exclusive runway. I always thought that was a bit of overkill, but nothing at the Bubblegum Kittikat was understated, except perhaps, me."

I fancy myself somewhat of an Editor and this is how I would have embellished your work.

Anonymous said...

No offense to aspiring editor Elaine, but she's WAY too wordy - the original version was much sharper and tighter.

The introduction of the personal connection at the end of the last line, comes as a compelling wildcard element, that gets lost in the "edited version"

Plus, isn't it a bit ballsy for anyone to offer an edit of your opening paragraph unsolicited?

You have a clear, crisp voice keep going.

Anonymous said...

did you by chance work at spearmint rhino? :)

Faye said...

I love memoirs. Especially about the alternative side of society. Please write it. I'm curious already!

English said...

How do we pre-order? lol You go girl! I love it already! I'd also like to pre-order the memoir you will write about the rich people. Those blogs made me laugh until I cried (pardon the cliche).

PS: I agree with Anonymous about Elaine's edit.

Melissa said...

WRITE! MORE! WORDS!

Dayna said...

Elaine, WTF!!!


Wide Lawns, Keep On Trucking!!! Please Please Please don't be like another blogger and tease us with a great piece of work than have a mental break down and stop, We Don't Deserve That!! And neither do you.

Laurie said...

Love it so far, just the way it is. Nobody writes like you. If you write it, we will buy. Can't wait!

greyspasm said...

I'd buy it too, and that's saying something, as I usually get my reading material from the library.

Elaine: Editor's don't embellish, and your additions distracted from the story. EDIT FAIL!

Jean_Phx said...

I don't of postten get to comment because my boss has a problem with me using his equipment for this sort of thing - whatever. I had to bring my own into the office so that I could respond to this. See that's how much I can't wait for the book on the Bubblegum - didn't you write some stories about the club when you were still at the rich peoples place. Doesn't matter - sign me up for a prepurchase or to reserve a book. Whatever you need to get to it! Do you want money now and then you'll feel obligated to sit down everyday and write at least for 2 hours, like the job it is. Where do I send the paypal $

Anonymous said...

As a professional, I'm sure you've heard about National Novel writing Month. Here is the link anyway:
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
It's intended for amateurs as well as professionals, but would having a 30 day deadline, and doing it at the same time as many other people help? If nothing else, you could just use it to jump start yourself.
Can't wait for the novel, either about the BBK or Basura!

Mrs. Gumby said...

Yay! WL is going to write a book for us to read!!

I love your writing style just the way it is. Let us know when the book is done. I have my money ready!

Joyce Patton said...

I buy the books of all my favorite bloggers, and you will be no exception my dear! I will buy all four of your books (hopefully on Kindle).

I've read these books: 1000 awesome things, both of Crazy Aunt Purl's books, Regretsy, Cake Pops, and many more. If you have a blog I like, I support you 100% and purchase your book. I love your writing and look forward to your published material!

Anonymous said...

what the anonymous person said about elaine.

jmm said...

I will definitely buy your book!

janani said...

Love that you are writing a book! I for one will buy definitely buy it. I am really happy that you aren't rehashing your blog stories - been burned by many bloggers like that. I only hope you wn't stop writing your blog

Sinclair said...

I just finished reading "Candy Girl" and loved it. Thanks for recommending this book.

You have all the gifts to write a successful book/window into this fascinating world. Your writing is funny, catchy, unpredictable and non judgmental. I'm buying it!

Kelly said...

I would love to read this book. Please write it, please??

Marie said...

I'm so happy to read your announcement and will be buying your book.

Anonymous said...

When you're ready to show somebody some pages, you have an open invitation to show them to me if you like, or if you just want to chat, come on up to Boca... Papatya

Dayna said...

Several yrs ago, I started following someone's little old unknown blog. From there she wrote a book about her experiences w/ a certain situation then she wrote another book (fiction). That book was just made into a major motion picture starring Anna Farris.

You gotta start somewhere!!!

colenic said...

YAY!!! can't wait

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