Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Nasty Assed Recipes - Deviled Eggs Edition

It has been forever since I posted a Nasty-Assed Recipe, so I figured we were due and plus I'm busy as hell because my in-laws showed up to surprise my husband for his first Father's Day and the little tooth factory that I birthed in October has decided to be low-grade feverish and bleaty all day, so I don't have time to write one of the over one hundred and seventy nine stories dancing around my head.

Total Aside - No crying it out happened at all. I can not do it. I can't. I'll just get up and down 35 times a night if need be. On Friday, Baby Lawns threw up epicly before bed and I knew with her tummy that empty she'd have to nurse in the night and that she'd need comfort. Then last night she up and decided to sleep all night on her own all of a sudden and only woke up once briefly. I have no idea how this happened, but it did and I'm terrified to jinx it and praying it is the beginning of a consistent pattern and that she'll do this every night from here on out. Keep your fingers crossed. End of Total Aside.

Ok, so Nasty Assed Recipes.

Every stinking time I think I've found the nastiest recipe of all time, as with the White Castle Dip, I find something grosser that tops it.

People love stupid deviled eggs. I do not. Deviled eggs are vile to me. They contain many things which do not go in my world like mayonnaise, mustard, egg whites and whatever else is in deviled eggs. I hate the things. I have never eaten one and I never will. Nothing about a deviled egg appeals to me.

I also can't abide by canned tomato soup. I once went on a date with a guy who told me his favorite food was canned tomato soup with Minute Rice stirred into it. Obviously that was our only date. There is something so utterly nauseating about that concentrated, ketchupy glop horking out of that red and white can. I could never eat it.

Additionally there is the abomination known as Velveeta, which I've complained about prolifically. I will say it again though. Cheese should need refrigeration. It should also be able to legally be called cheese and not Processed American Cheese Food Product, which is a bunch of advertising BS that translates into English as: This Shit Isn't Actually Cheese but is a Cheese-like Estimation Created With Chemicals Which May or May Not Actually be Edible and We Can't Call it Cheese Without Getting Sued.

Now what happens when one decides to combine all three of these things? I'll tell you. It's a culinary Apocalypse.

Country Club Eggs, found in The Sweet Potato Queens Big Ass Cookbook by Jill Conner Browne is wrong wrong wrong. You may view the recipe here, but do so at your own risk and in close proximity to a bathroom or trashcan. You make deviled eggs. You cover them with tomato soup. You smother that with Velveeta. You bake it in an oven. You eat hot deviled eggs with soup and fake cheese.

God help the person who came up with that mess.

Anyone brave enough?

15 comments:

One Mean MFA said...

I've seen some bad recipes in my day, but heated devils eggs, that is nasty. Seriously, deviled eggs are already a kind of rough food. I've eaten them in my day, but my mom always made them with very little mayo and didn't put any fake stuff in it like canned Warhol soup. Yikes.

Still, I don't know what is worse, a) the recipe's existence or b) that some buffoon actually likes eating this it.

Melanie said...

I agree with you -- that sounds totally disgusting!!!

L. said...

What about the "Bacon Monkey Bread" below that recipe...it all makes me very, very queasy.

Sunny said...

This is why our world power is slipping away. How can you have any respect for people that will eat this sort of thing?

Anonymous said...

Precisely what sort of "Country Club" would serve anything involving canned tomato soup and Velveeta?
Pardon my cognitive dissonance...

Anonymous said...

I find it hard to believe that anyone who would join a country club would eat those eggs.

Head Ant said...

I would totally make them if :

A) My husband didn't forbid me to after I told him about them last week, citing that they were "vomit inducing."

B) I hadn't already spent my lifetime allowance of screwing up deviled eggs by covering them with Bechamel sauce at our eighth grade Food Fest.

C) I could guarantee that my kids would touch deviled eggs after that. It's one of the few things they'll eat.

If you think of something I can actually trick my husband into trying, send it my way.

Miss Kitty said...

[vomit]

I don't really like deviled eggs; I say "don't really" because in 37 years I've tasted only ONE deviled egg that I liked. But heated deviled eggs? I'm sorry, but NO. That's as fucked up as a football bat.

Stephani said...

That recipe is disturbing.

Equally disturbing is the fact that there is a recipe for "Death Chicken" in the same cookbook. WTF?

Head Ant said...

I will compromise and make Velveeta fudge though. I'm curious to find out if the positive reviews are actually correct.

Kerry said...

You made me laugh. Actually out loud. Alone in the house except for the dogs.

Oh. My. Gods. Hot deviled eggs with tomato soup and fake cheese???? Dude.

I mean, I've certainly eaten Velveeta, and I kind of like deviled eggs if I make them, but I can't see them hot, and certainly not covered in canned tomato soup. And Velveeta should not be a part of the equation.

cathy said...

I think what's nastier than this, is the Twinky Cassarole...that sounds horrible. That being said, i LOVE deviled eggs, but I HATE velveeta and tomato soup.

Melissa said...

I like deviled eggs, but not those deviled eggs. They sounds like barf in a Pyrex.

On an aside, "Dinksy's Gooey Bars" are incredible.

Miss Kitty said...

WL, if it's okay with you, I'm going to write up an Ask Mom post on E&P that's kind of a "question" from you about the nastiest recipe Mom has encountered in her 40+ years of living down South. IF that's okay with you. I would link back to this series of posts, but only if the whole shebang is all right by you.

Wide Lawns said...

Yes Miss Kitty Yes! I can't wait to hear what your mom comes up with!

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