Monday, August 30, 2010


My dad took the red-eye back from LA last night and got home this morning. He's been gone for a week filming a movie.

Believe me, I was shocked too. I never thought I'd write a sentence that involved my dad filming a movie, although he was an extra in the distant background of Entourage once. This time, he has a speaking role. I think my dad has gone all union and everything! He plays a bus driver and a limo driver, but he isn't allowed to actually drive the vehicles. He just gets to sit in them and act like he's about to drive them. I love it.

All last week I watched my dad's facebook page like a reality show because he kept posting pictures from the set and it was really neat to see how a movie is made. I'd kill to be there too, but well, this whole pregnancy thing is preventing it and even if I weren't pregnant now, I'd have to teach anyway. Maybe one day. Hey, maybe in a few months they'll have a big, glitzy premiere and I'll get to go to that. I'll dress the baby all up and take her along.

Unfortunately, I don't have any good celebrity gossip. I was really hoping for some. I've always wanted to be in on some cool, insider Hollywood dirt.  Once I met a famous director and I made him tell me some Hollywood gossip and he told me that his gardener is John Travolta's gardener and that the gardener told him he caught John Travolta on several occasions with his secret boyfriend. That wasn't really mind blowing for me though. I think it's been rumored for years that John Travolta was gay and that Kelly Preston is his Scientology beard.

I don't have anything good like that at all, so I guess I won't be getting my dream job working at the National Enquirer any time soon. You know they're located in South Florida, right? I'd love to be a tabloid reporter. My trailer park relatives in Millpond would be so proud. 

Anyway, Kelly Osbourne is in the movie with my dad. I don't think they have scenes together but my dad was on set when she was there filming her scenes and he said she was adorable and sweet and did a great job. Then, her mom came. Can I just tell you how much I love Sharon Osbourne? I think she's great. I used to watch her talk show and I loved when she'd bring her Pomeranian out and it would try to attack her guests, so you can imagine how jealous I was that she brought the dog with her and that my dad got to hold it and it didn't attack him. I would love to hold Sharon Osbourne's Pomeranian. My life is so unfair.

I was particularly interested in my dad's getting to meet two members of the Osbourne family. I've always said that they are the family closest to my own. They're the only family who has ever even come close to the level of quirkiness, chaos and general insanity that I experience with my own relatives. I remember having a moment the first time I ever saw their reality show years ago on MTV. It was like I was watching my own family right there on TV, complete with dogs pooping all over the floor. The Osbournes were us! I wasn't alone! There were other people just like us with weird people coming and going all day and some moving in randomly. The whole deal. So when I heard my dad got to meet Kelly and Sharon, my mind started spinning and I began to imagine my family becoming best friends with the Osbournes and just how very perfect and right that would be.

Also in the movie are Ed Asner and Carol Kane. I loved Up! so I was excited about Ed Asner. He gave my dad a hat from Up! and then they made plans to go to shul together on Yom Kippur since my dad will be back in LA during the high holidays. Cool. My dad is going to fast with Lou Grant.

I loved Carol Kane in Annie Hall and The Princess Bride. I remember her as Andy Kauffman's girlfriend on Taxi when I was little and we can't forget her in The Addams Family or my personal favorite The Muppet Movie (in my top 15 of all time).  I think she's one of the greatest comedy actresses of our time and I really admire successful funny women. Of all the people my dad is getting to meet on this set, I think I'd most like to meet her. I mean, besides Sharon Osbourne's Pomeranian.

My parents should be heading back to Hollywood some time this week on their bus. I know it was killing my mom to miss out on all the fun and she has been promised an extra role in the background of my dad's bus scene. Then there's a big party scene that she can be in too. I felt really guilty that she missed out last week, like it was my fault because the reason she stayed home was because of all the crap I'm going through. Hopefully she'll get out there soon and start having fun and forget about all of my turmoil.

I don't have much else to report from the set, but when they're back in LA I'm sure there'll be plenty more adventures and I'll be sure to keep you updated as I get information.


Misha said...

Watching The Osbourne's for the first time was comforting for me too. Actually, I felt a little smug. Yes, my family was just as loud and the language was just as salty- but at least all of our dogs were potty trained!

JoeinVegas said...

Wow, Sharon Osbourne's Pomeranian. And Carol Kane. Just love her voice (and accent in Taxi)

NayNay said...

Can I just tell you how disturbed I am by the Scientology ads on your page? You know, the ones with the kid in the doghouse? Every time I come back for an update, my first thought is, "WTF?!"

Wide Lawns said...

NayNay, I think the ads are different for everyone. I think they are tailored to your location and maybe things you have looked at. I don't have any control over them and I haven't seen any Scientology ads when I look at mine, though I'm kind of disappointed about that.

Scientology is craziness! I am slightly obsessed with it in the same way that I am obsessed with polygamist mormon cults. I love stuff about cults.

Jean_Phx said...

Me too, Wide Lawns, and serial killers :-0 Just saying - I have never stopped my fascination with Manson (I know that he isn't a serial killer - but you know what I mean.) and all that. Went so far as to see Vincent Beliogsi (sp) speak on the subject. Because, you know, he knew everything about the nutjob. Odd.

Wide Lawns said...

Well Jean you will love this. My cousin is dating a guy whose aunt was one of the Manson Family murderers and she's in jail now with no hope of parole. Unfortunately the guy is an idiot. You can tell the whole family's a mess from how he acts, and he's a redneck racist asshole who hates me because he thinks I'm a yuppie, so he won't tell me anything about the Manson stuff. Because of course I need to know all about it.

Jean_Phx said...

Couldn't you just pretend to be nuts to get some dirt? Because we all know that you are, in fact, about as sane as they come! Pssst, which one?

Anonymous said...

So Kelly Preston is bearding for John. I so love your blog, WL. Great stories, discussions and, once in a while, some gossip.

I'm addicted to this website about famous deaths. You might be interested:


Unknown said...

Well you did mention John Travolta so goggle picked up on that and hence the ads.

Moving on
What's the movie? IMDB has nothing in production for Asner or Osborn. I was curious
Regardless sounds like fun. I know I love the work.

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