Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Still Moving

This has been a tough week. I'm still moving and it's a long, exhausting process. I have to work and so does my husband, so we can only really do the moving, cleaning, packing and unpacking at night. My parents are busy too, but they have helped a lot. We can't afford and don't really need to hire movers. 

I'm hot and out of breath all the time. My husband is sleep deprived and irritable. It is one hundred degrees outside. This does not make for a good time, let me tell you. There have been tears. There will probably be more. In fact, as I'm writing this, I feel like crying. Part of that is because I need to get my lesson plans for tomorrow in order and I just don't have the energy or inclination to do that at all, nor do I wish to grade papers. At this moment the last thing I care about is trying to fill a 3 1/2 hour class with enough activities to entertain a bunch of 19 year olds who are all texting under their desks anyway. They think I can't see them, but I can.

In a moment of extreme procrastination, I decided to glance at some blogs. This was a grave error on my part. I had rage.

This week, the Armstrongs of Dooce fame are also moving. They are moving into a literal mansion. They are rich and can hire movers and organizers and have personal assistants. They work for HGTV for God's sakes. This made me mad because I got jealous. Normally I'm not a Dooce hater at all. I'm more Dooce-Indifferent, because what do I care about a bunch of people I don't know out in Salt Lake City? I don't really and I shouldn't. But reading about their move infuriated me and I was just over my own move by then and reading some woman complaining about not being able to find the salt or whatever it was, in her gigantic mansion that she affords by writing about poop and babies and dogs, well I confess that it made me jealous. I mean, I've written about poop. I would like to avoid writing about babies as much as possible, although I probably won't be entirely successful there, and I'm really a cat person, but still. I wish it got me a mansion and a personal assistant and some people to move all this shit and put it away and organize it and make it look nice for me. You know, MAYBE I NEED TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS MORE. Maybe that's the real problem. I DON'T WRITE IN ALL CAPS ENOUGH.

There have been a lot of things this week that I could have written in all caps about. We can start with the mosquitoes. I don't know where these things are coming from, but out of the corner of your eye, you could easily mistake one for a mocking bird. My theory is that there are so many this year because they are breeding in all the stagant, abandoned pools sitting green and scummy in the yards of all the foreclosed houses. I recently read an article in our local paper about a resurgence of Dengue Fever, which is carried by mosquitoes. This has caused me to swear that I have Dengue Fever at least 15 times since reading the article and once I even kind of hoped I did have it because then I could stay in the hospital for several weeks. By then, I assumed that the move would be complete and I could come home to a clean, organized house. It would be kind of like magic. Except, I don't really wish I get Dengue Fever. Whenever I say stuff like that, even when I'm just joking, I always swear God is going to punish me and make it really happen just to show me. I'm also always really careful to be extremely specific with making wishes because "The Monkey's Paw" had a profound effect on the way I view the Universe. You don't want to mess around with stuff like that, you know?

I am stressed out. I would like a personal assistant. I would like to live in a cooler place with fewer bugs. There are good things though. I now have a king sized bed. I also have curtains. Do you know that my whole life of living on my own, that I have never had curtains? Can you imagine? I never even thought about them and I don't know the first thing about hanging them or anything, but I have them and that's a good start.  I also have a window behind my kitchen sink. I've always wanted one of those too. I can look out of it and see the mocking-bird-sized mosquitoes in my backyard, which resembles The Philippines at the moment. It's a bit jungly back there, but it's mine.

Even though I'm stressed out to the limits of stress that I can handle, I am still really grateful that after all this time, I can live in a house again. It may not be a mansion with acres of landscaped property. It may not be tastefully chic in that understated Pottery Barn kind of a way. I may not have assistants and consultants from HGTV decorating it for me and I may not be getting paid for my rant about how much I hate this move, but dammit, I have my own, regular, normal sized and in only slight disrepair house and I love it.


Yankee said...

Although I read Dooce, I get much more excited to see that you have posted a new blog. I am sure that I do not know the full range of Dooce projects but I don't understand how that level of writing is paying for such a mansion or requiring an assistant. I hope you can take some solace in knowing that your words are far more entertaining than poop and baby drool.

Good luck with the move.

Anonymous said...

I read you both, I like you best, even
Thounyou have
no really big house!
Hang in there, the best is yet to be!!

Erica said...

If it's any consolation (which I'm sure it's not) I think everyone's having a ridiculous couple of weeks which are not at all helped by the crazy crazy amount of heat.

For example, my work is driving me absolutely up the wall, I'm trying to get a paper together for publication, trying to run experiments, my coworkers are trying to eat each other, and on top of it all I nearly lost all. my. data. for my PhD when my external hard drive took a crap. And it's really freakin hot.

Good luck with everything and for the record I'm jealous I don't get to live in a cute cottage by the sea. Grass is always greener and all that.

Anonymous said...

After reading this post I went to check out Dooce, I have not read her blog in years. Wow, same old crap. I just dont get it. Shes a very negative person. Money does not buy happiness, you, although uncomfortable at the moment, are happy. Your life is rich with stories and, well, just LIFE.

I cant wait for your stories of your new family even though I know you dont want to be a "mommy blogger".

Your blog is good for the imagination, it has value and substance. Im sure you know that, your just a little stressed. I hope you feel better. If I could, Id hug the hell out of you!

Anonymous said...

I used to read Dooce, for a short while, but in the end she wasn't worth the time.

You, on the other hand, are definitely in my top three, and maybe even in first place as far as blogs go.

Hang in there; things are tough now but I'm quite sure the rewards will be tremendous.

catherine said...

I used to read dooce but I got sick of her constant droning about her daughter, and I feel sorry for her husband, she isn't very nice to him sometimes. She is too much the stereotypical "mommyblogger".
You blow her out of the water when it comes to depth of content and ability to hold an audience with a story. You're the one that deserves the mansion and the manicured lawn, but now you suffer for your art. Thats a good thing for us readers, you keep us entertained in that way you do and we love you for it.
Sit down, get your feet up and have a big glass of sweet green tea.
Moving sucks, but it will be over soon. <3U

Amy said...

Add me to the list of people don't don't get why Dooce makes so much money writing (if you can call it that) what she does and posting pictures of her kids and dogs.

Your stories are MUCH more interesting, and you never devolve into SHRILL ALL CAPS SCREAMING ABOUT POOP AND UNDISCIPLINED CHILDREN OH MY GOD.

Melissa said...

If I lived closer and you weren't anonymous, I'd bring you dinner and help you unpack.

Anonymous said...

Of course you love your house, and it will love you too when it's done and the three of you will be blissfully happy there. Then all of this will have been worth it. I know how you feel - I moved when I was 8 months pregnant in the middle of August and there was nothing fun about it, except that I was going from a place I hated to a place I loved and expecting a new baby - just like you. You have everything you need and the grace to be grateful for it, plus you're mega-talented and not in the least bit annoying - like Dooce. You'll be fine. Hugs.

I've always wanted a window above my kitchen sink too!


Consultant Calamities said...

eh, I've tried reading Dooce and I just don't see the appeal.

Love your writing! keep it up! SOMETHING will come of it, I know it will.

sorry about moving in the heat while pregnant, I had to do that too and it sucked! Let the hubby & your parents do as much for you as possible.

Echo said...

When I whittled my bloglines down from 120+ to 20, you made the cut. Dooce didn't.

I have no idea where her readership comes from.

Sundar said...

Ok, don't take it the wrong way. I know movers are not cheap but they are not exorbitant either. Think of the convenience - movers will more than offset the hassle of charging the fee on your credit card and paying it over just a few months. And at 100 degrees - my God. It would be a slam-dunk call for me.

Anonymous said...

Your writing is amazing. Although I do not know you, I feel as though you are a very real, down-to-earth person (though sometimes your experiences are surreal to be sure). I found your blog by accident and have made reading it part of my morning/afternoon ritual. I checked out Dooce and I don't understand it, but then again, I don't understand why Snookie from the Jersey Shore makes more money than I do either. Keep it real, Widelawns!

thotlady said...

I have moved over 25 times in my life...yes 25. My parents never owned their own home, so we moved a lot.

It never gets any easier. You get more organized, but the move itself is agony.

I will add my two cents about a horrible move, in August of 2001. My husband and I unloaded a 24 foot moving truck into a tiny two bedroom apartment in August, the temperature 100 degrees. The apartment did not have air conditioning, so before we started to unload the truck I went and bought a window unit. I am not crazy enough to unload a truck without air-conditioning on the other end of that chore.

Hang in there.

It scares me a little bit why the culture we live in can lift a site like D00ce to such financial levels, when she puts out so much hate and trash.

JoeinVegas said...

CURTAINS! YOU HAVE CURTAINS!!!!! yes, it is more exciting in caps.

Jean_Phx said...

I love that you are in such a good place. Other than - moving, school, baby coming and the hot weather ;-) I have no idea about the Dooce blog - but I assure you that this is the first blog I check in the morning and get a big smile when there is a new post and run for a fresh cup of coffee to sit and read! (Keep in mind that for women it is almost as stressful to move as it is to lose a parent - so try to relax and enjoy the experience. Also, I'm with the hire a mover team! No matter the cost - it's worth every dime.)

Mary said...

I read both you and dooce, and am far more amused by you. In face, every time I have read one of the dooce moving posts, I have wondered how your move is going and how the pregnancy is. I was overjoyed to see a post today, and hope you have a nice day. I'd totally be your personal assistant if you ever wanted one.

Anonymous said...

One more thing - use Space Bags for your clothes and bedding and anything else squishy instead of putting them in boxes. You can put all the full bags in one box and ( or just throw them in the truck/car) and save a ton of space and time. They worked really well for me. :)

Green said...

I am so impressed that you can and do articulate your jealousy. So few people do that. I am jealous of your ability to do it. Oh, look at that!

If I were nearby I would totally just park you on the couch with a cold drink and have you point at where you wanted me to put things.

EricaM said...

The Monkeys Paw!!! I remember we read that story (or had it read to us) and watched a film of it in second and third grades. I remember it so well! I'm very surprised to hear anyone else mention it.

Kindlekat said...

I just found out about this mosquito stuff, and am going to order it to spray in my yard. Thought I'd pass along the info, because its mostly just garlic, and so not toxic to people or animals (or babys!). It seemed cheap enough to not at least give it a shot.

You can also order it on amazon.com, which I think makes it a few bucks cheaper.

Ps. I also read Dooce, but I like your humor much better. I too, am jealous of her new beautiful mansion that is in no way a small house. Having just had a move much more similar to yours than hers(crappy apartment to nice rental rowhouse, in my case) I am still happy with my house. However, I think we still get to be jealous.

Everyday Reader said...

I love your writing. I've never read Dooce but I've heard about her. Can't imagine why she makes so much money.
I don't know why half the people who are celebrities are considered celebrities.
I've seen some of the designers on HGTV and wonder how they get away with what they do.
I think it's a case of the old "not what you know but who you know". So I'm with you.

Your move will eventually be over and we are all in your corner sending you good thoughts and prayers.
God bless.

Life in the mom lane said...

First- who the heck is Dooce??? from the comments left- don't think I will look...
Second... moving sucks! Especially in the heat!
Hang in there... find your blender and make some frozen margaritas- after 2 or 3 things will look way better =]

sha said...

People still read Dooce?

Truthfully, I stopped reading Dooce because her stories just didn't engage me.

Your observations and recollections are brilliant. Your voice resounds with me.

And the name Dooce? Come on, she's named herself after poop.

Anonymous said...

I had never heard of "Dooce" so I checked it out. I don't get the appeal. She makes MONEY on that crap?

I've followed your blog for years and feel like part of your odd, beloved family.

I'm so glad you found a little house that feels *right*. This move will be behind you soon and, eventually, you and Mr. Lawns will be able to have a few laughs over the exhaustion of it.

Won't be long now. Big ((hugs)) to you.


Ann said...

My worst move was on Christmas Eve about ten years ago. It was sleeting and making the ramp very slippery plus it was just my husband and me. The neighbor lady came in and started yelling at me for parking in front of her house and I started crying. Then she started crying and telling me about her sick husband. Then my husband came back with another load to find his wife and a stranger crying in his new living room.

I have a big house and I wish I lived in a cottage. We have too much house and not a chance of selling it in this market.

jmm said...

Your blog blows Dooce out of the water.

kerry said...

That's so fantastic that you found a great little house!! Once you get it set, it'll be great. I hope your move went smoothly.

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