Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Crazy Busy

My week has been ridiculously busy. The best part about that is that it passes by really quickly.

As you know, I've been dealing with some hard stuff that I can't write about. I'm getting through it. I hate when bloggers allude to things and won't tell what they are. I will give you a brief overview. The first thing is that someone I care about very much, who is not a relative, is in a kind of horrible prison we have here and awaiting deportation. I may throw all caution to the wind and just write about it, but I need to process it all first. I went to this facility to visit and came out with a whole new view of the world and it was deeply traumatic. My husband has done everything possible to help this person and we have even contacted a lawyer who is always on TV. There is just nothing we can do. Because of this experience, I realized that I really do have white privilege and it made me feel awful. I actually experienced being treated differently because I was educated, wealthy and white. It sucked.

The second thing I am dealing with is a problem I had at school. There are federal laws prohibiting teachers from writing about their work, so I have to leave it at that. It's a troubling situation, but there are a lot of people on my side helping me get through this. Unfortunately that's all I can really say about it here. Just send good thoughts.

I am also in the middle of one of my overly dramatic, psychosomatic pregnancy scares. I've decided that even if I am pregnant that everything is going to be ok. I'm probably not though. You know you all want this to be a mommy blog. Just admit it.

Yesterday Chastity's wedding invitation came in the mail and I still can't decide to go or not. Apparently now, my biological father is calling himself Dr. Ronald Holland. What is wrong with this man? You're not a real doctor if you get a PhD from life experience, from a non-accredited online Jesus correspondence school. Ok? Can we agree on that? After the stress I had to go through formatting a real thesis at a real university, I take total offense. I earned my degree. He wrote some emails about Jesus.

Last, I'm still working on the Breadloaf application and manuscript. I've gotten some very enthusiastic feedback on it so far.

Now I have to go to work and prepare for another long day. Luckily I have two classes full of bright, enthusiastic and truly amazing students who inspire me every day I get to spend with them. It sounds corny, but it's so true.


Jean_Phx said...

For what it's worth - I really don't think you should go to the wedding. Enough is enough and why subject yourself to that craziness? As I said, for what it's worth from a stranger.

Melanie said...

Just think of the legacy that you will have by positively influencing all those students.

I envy that. I think I should change my career and go into teaching......

Anonymous said...

Darling, if you really don't want to get pregnant, get on some form of birth control. Seriously.

Missicat said...

Just my $.02 - wouldn't go to the wedding. Of course if you do, we MUST hear every crazy detail!
Hope everything works out for you and your friend.

Dayna said...

Unlike Jean, I think you should go to the wedding....kill them with kindness.

Like me, you seem very passionate about your beliefs and convictions. For us, it just seems to kill the soul when things/people that we believe so much are out of our control.

You will have a baby when the time is right to have a babay.

Arabella said...

That's a lot of stuff. Hope you're eating your greens. I'll have extra on your behalf too.

Anonymous said...

please do not write about the deportation
thing, I am sure you do not
Know what happens to a person
who pissed of the goverment !
Belive me this is a chance you/I
do not want you to take !
Love your blog
Keep safe for all of us
Kay lee Kelly

Anonymous said...

For you own health and happiness, do NOT go to the wedding. Seriously.

Agreed with the birth control comment too.

But, hey; we're all just the Voyeur masses, so take it at its worth.

Amysue in Texas

Alessandra said...

Sorry, everyone, but I wouldn´t assume our dear author doesn´t use some form of birth control (or two, since she mentioned several times her feelings on the subject). Thing is, they fail sometimes. Not often, thank heavens, but once in a blue moon it happens.

Not saying this to scare you, dear. I can see from across the internets that you are soooo not pregnant (I can totally sense those thing). Chillax!

Seriously now, my heart goes out to you and to the people you care about. Just remember, não há bem que sempre dure nem mal que nunca termine.

Jean said...

I wouldn't go to the wedding. Killing people with kindness doesn't work, because those kinds of people don't get it.

If you choose to go, the best you can do is pointedly ignore your father. I really mean, act as if he is not there, even if he is standing right in front of you.

The worst you can do is dump a plate of whatever food they will have at the wedding reception over his head... by accident.

I wish I could do something like that -- but I wouldn't be able to. I have the nasty vindictive bitchy side, but I also have a very high guilt complex.... so if any thing happened to Charity EVER, I'd blame myself.

Anonymous said...

Don't go to the wedding. Send them a nice, small gift or a card if you must, but for your own piece of mind, do not go.

As for the comments re: birth control, I echo Alessandra - it can fail. Using it isn't a guarantee of never ever getting pregnant (although it does work that way for many, things can break, and everyone's body chemistry is different) it just sharply decreases your chances. Providing, of course, that it works for you the way it's supposed to.

Miss Kitty said...

You & your loved ones are in my thoughts and prayers, WL. And my fingers are crossed that you get a big, fat Breadloaf acceptance packet in the mail.

booda baby said...

I can never decide between being grateful for the silliness or genuinely sorry for the certain breed that puts such stock in titles that they'd (it? do I have to use 'it' here?) ANYwhich, that they'd buy one from a hot dog cart if it was on the menu.

Go BREAD LOAF going-to. ?? You'd think I'd start over with that one, but I will not. You'll be attending. You've got the gift, you do the work and you are always developing, refining your fantabulous voice.

Jennifer said...

Scares happen even with birth control. Hope the outcome to that one is good for you.

staticwarp said...

ever thought about getting an IUD instead of using all kinds of crazy, unreliable prophylactics?

white privelege? come on. if this blog is to be believed, you worked hard for what you have (with the exception of your citizenship) and you're not exactly white anyway.

has it ever occurred to you that racism is lame, even when you direct it at yourself? you have nothing to feel guilty about. you dont control the amount of melanin in your dermis. quit beating yourself up for being born the way you were. you are an awesome person and i'm sure you treat people with the same amount of respect no matter what color their skin is, so dont buy into this crap that you have something to feel guilty about just because you're "white".

staticwarp said...

oh and if this becomes a mommy blog i will stop reading this site. *gag*

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