Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I Should be Watching the President But...

OK look, I'm watching (sort of listening if you want to get technical) the State of the Union right now and I'm fixing to make brownies in the midst of all the standing up and staying sitting down and the long analysis afterward of who stood up and who stayed sitting down. But I want you to know two things.

1. I am writing you a story about a woman who has clear teeth and who claims she spent 50 grand on her daughter's hair extensions. You know you love these stories about all the South Florida freaks I know. You know you need your fix of rich white people stupidity.

2. Today I discovered a blog with which I am now madly infatuated. It's Bye Bye Pie. I immediately added it to my links. It has everything - Southern-ness, cat pictures, drag queens and pictures of people with mugs. Hell, it even has a book club. I discovered it because its author June left me a comment on a post I wrote forever ago about stupid Miss Disappearing Doxie, who has gotten a cat after a year's disappearance and then gone and disappeared again.

OK 3 things.

3. I am so sick of looking at my stinking living room now. I am donating my stupid, dust collecting carpet to my husband's co-worker's office and I'm going to IKEA this weekend to get a new, plain sisal one. The Internet may now celebrate. And I assure you that when I get more money, one of these days if that ever happens, that I am getting myself a larger place to live in and I'm going to get very teeny furniture to put in it and none of it will be upholstered. It's just that sometimes when you aren't wealthy and you don't want to go in debt, that buying new stuff isn't an option and you have to accept what others give you and do your best with it. You should also be really damn thankful that someone gave you something, which I am, and take really good care of it, which I do. And don't think that I will ever show you my bedroom. You would probably just die if you saw it. My husband put the sheets on the bed after the last laundry and when he does that, he just kind of goes into the linen closet and picks the first things he sees whether or not they actually go together. I actually do have matching sheet sets, but right now we have a duvet with no cover on it, a red sham, a green sham, a purple flannel pillow case, a beige pillow case, beige sheets and a white coverlet. But who cares? I was just thankful I had a husband who changed the sheets at all.

9 comments:

June Gardens said...

Yay, you linked to me! I guess I, too, am ignoring the president to follow up on who does and does not link to me. It's the state of my own union, every day.

Why so few friends, I ask myself. Couldn't be my self-involvement.

Paige said...

I look forward to the clear teeth story--teeth are serious bidness to me

Off to check out your recommendation

ty-ping said...

my parents have that exact same carpet.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

I, too, love Bye Bye Pie. I discovered her during a blog contest, which I think she came in 2nd place.

And I, too, look forward to Miss Clear Teeth. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks Florida is full of people who just have to take things one step too far.

JoeinVegas said...

Glad you have a husband that will make the bed. Ever so hard to find, yes, don't worry about the matching sheets, lights are off most of the time in there anyway.

dissed said...

I haven't put sheets on the bed in a week. I'm sleeping between the mattress pad and the down comforter. I'm tired, I'm stressed and I just don't care. Red and green? You're doing just fine. At least they're on there.

Life in the mom lane said...

We had hand me downed furniture the first 15 years we were married...We then finally bought new furniture for our living room & dining room. We are replacing different pieces a little at a time.
Oh yeah... my sheets RARELY ever match :)

Anonymous said...

Sisal is an excellent choice for your new rug. Thumbs up.

And now a non-original rant -

I actually do have matching sheet sets, but right now we have a duvet with no cover on it, a red sham, a green sham, a purple flannel pillow case, a beige pillow case, beige sheets and a white coverlet.

What is it with womens and linens? (That is supposed to rhyme BTW.) You have excessive amounts of neither money nor time, yet you still feel a need to at least own matching shams, coverlets, duvets, and sheets. All you are missing is a dust ruffle. C'mon, line up the pillows, straighten out the top sheet (if any) and throw whatever blanket you sleep under neatly over the top of the whole thing. You are now done and have more free time, less laundry, and more money in your pocket. It also looks better than the million-piece bed dressing unless you get everything juuust right.

- lowwall

kjl said...

My husband does the exact same thing when making the bed. He will pick the most random things that don't go together and he'll think nothing of it!! You're right though...we should be thankful to have helpful husbands. :)

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