Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Someone Was on Drugs When They Came Up With This

There is simply no other reasonable explanation. I remember back in high school when I was friends with a bunch of kids who had dropped out of school and well, life in general and all they did was smoke pot all day long. Mostly they never went anywhere except to see the Grateful Dead if they were in town or to a drum circle. They just got high all the time. Once they got high they'd want something to eat naturally, so they'd concoct weird dishes from the stuff in their moms' refrigerators. Then they'd crack up at their inventiveness and resourcefulness and spend the next several days talking about the things they ate when they were stoned and about how stoned they actually were. That is the only feasible excuse for this recipe.

1 lb. Velveeta cheese
2 cans chili - no beans
1 med. can ranch style beans
1 can Ro-Tel tomatoes
1 sm. Cool Whip
1 bag tortilla chips
Melt cheese and add the next 3 ingredients. Heat until real hot. Add Cool Whip; melt. Add chips.

I need someone to help me with this. How is this a taco and who the hell thought to stir Cool Whip into beans, Velveeta and tomatoes?? And why??? WHY??? Also, don't forget to heat until REAL hot. You don't want it to be fake hot. REAL hot. OK? That step is very important. Cool Whip and Cheese needs to be REAL hot.


Michelle said...

I am usually an avid lover of whitetrash recipes. Your pretzel salad hate breaks my heart every time you bring it up. If it can be covered in Velveeta cheese and topped with crushed potato chips, I will shove it into my face as fast as I can get it there.


That is the grossest thing I've ever heard of.

(in my defense, I like real food, too.)

C said...


Because heaven forbid your cool whip get cold.

Anonymous said...

Google "CREAMY TACOS" ... it is very, very frightening.

Anonymous said...

It's so bad, I almost want to try it. Because I've tried to imagine it in my head, and I just. can't. figure it out.

Jeannie said...

Given all the brand names in that recipe I'll guarantee it was made up in the manufacturer's kitchen.
My SIL was using our place as a mail drop for a while and we still get a so-called "recipe" magazine every quarter. It is full of concoctions like this one - combinations of as many of their processed products as possible. I have yet to be enticed to follow any of them.

gurumurthysundar1 said...

If you set aside the cool whip, I'd totally dig this concoction after a reefer session.

Heather said...

I admit that I have in my life occasionally partaken of munchies-inducing substances, and this sounds revolting to me. I don't dispute your claim, but I would hastily add that the creators of this recipe came up with it in the kitchen of a mobile home or perhaps permanently stationery RV. People with foundations couldn't possibly stomach this creation.

jtn said...

oh. that's vile. especially since i think cool whip as an oil base, not a cream one so it would melt into an oily slick.

Anonymous said...

I *hope* they just mixed up cool whip and sour cream... Had to... That would make sense, wouldn't it?

Life in the mom lane said...

yeah... sour cream would be better.... that just sounds nasty!

MtnMama said...

Since I am disgusted by 95% of what other people eat (and bring to potlucks, ewww), I can only gape at this recipe in horror.

Cool Whip is an abomination unto Mother Nature. Velveeta is something I could never understand.

This clearly isn't a taco, but an ignorant fool's version of a nacho dip or something, and they didn't know the right word? YUCK! ;)

Miss Kitty said...

Yes, that is indeed a stoner's munchies recipe. I'm sure it sounds delicious when one is high. :-)

Laurie said...

There isn't enough weed in the world to get me high enough to ever try this. Just ewww.

Nic said...

seriously? That is the grossest recipe for tacos I have ever heard of!

KT said...

Oh ewwwww.

I like my Cool Whip frozen, out of a container, with a spoon -- no Velveeta involved!

That reminds me, though, I have to dig up the "Popcorn Salad" recipe I found somewhere and share it. It's not as crazy as this one, but still pretty wacked.

booda baby said...

I feel really like I got ten for the price of one with this post. Michelle's comment alone was worth the price of admission. :):)

Robin said...

I recently heard an "enchilada" recipe that involved flour tortillas, chicken breast, cheese and cream of mushroom soup. I wonder if all "mexican" food is the same? :::snicker:::

Anonymous said...

I e-mailed this to a co-worker and this was her response:

This made me laugh really, really, really hard because I had a similar event happen to me in college. I was friends with pretty much all stoners but was not one myself. I came home from a date pretty late at night and my house mates were in the kitchen clustered around watching the toaster oven. They were stoned and hungry and we never had any food, so they always made up weird shit. This is one of the best:

Pizza Grahams

Sheets of plain graham crackers – unbroken
Spaghetti sauce, without meat (or ketchup!!!)
Mozzarella cheese
Bologna or sliced hot dogs

They spread the “red” sauce on the sheets of graham crackers, topped with cheese and bologna and put it in the toaster oven to “cook”. Then while they ate their pizza grahams they laughed hysterically about how inventive they were.

Anonymous said...

I've done some deep thinking on this recipe, frankly because I have no life at the moment...

Thoghts - most tomato recipes add sugar to cut down the acidity. Could this be an explanation? are we missing out on the recipe of the century because we are not willing to experiment? ...

No. Of course not. Just a thought.


Anonymous said...

Your blog is such a breath of fresh air, so delightful and joyous! A real source of inspiration, thank you for your many morsels of goodness.

If you have a moment or two, please amuse yourself with my new creation. I would greatly appreciate the brief moment of adoration and any suggestions.


Thank You.

Today's Random said...

Velveeta is just a cheese flavored sponge. I will run away from it like I saw a spider on my plate. How dare anyone violate the sacred Cool Whip with it?!

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