Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!! And Our Christmas Eve Party Crasher

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all have a healthy, happy holiday.

I just had to share this though.

Last night everything was going smoothly. It was so pleasant that I swear, it was almost boring. We were putting the finishing touches on our meal when my parents' housekeeper came and told me in Spanish that Canela (my cat) was at the front door and to please come, it was an emergency.

Obviously it would be an emergency if Canela was at the front door because I thought I had left Canela at home, safely in my apartment. There was pretty much no way short of teleportation that Canela could have been at my parents' house, so I went to see what was going on.

Sure enough there was a tabby cat at the front door meowing raucously to come in as if it lived there and how dare we shut it out. It definitely was not Canela though. It had a ridiculously long tail and Canela has a very short tail, which she is sensitive about so I'd rather not write any more about it publicly.

I opened the door and the long-tailed tabby tried to head butt his way inside. As soon as I got outside it started bunting at my legs and meowing and rubbing itself obscenely all over me. We got it some water and cheese, played with it for a little bit, because it was ridiculously friendly, and then went back inside. I am pretty sure this was someone's cat because it was a neutered male, nicely groomed and just too friendly to be wild, unless someone abandoned it. I don't know. This was one outgoing cat. I told it to go home and it strolled out of the driveway.

Then I went back in the kitchen and resumed dinner preparations. By this time we had about twenty or so people over. It was a muggy night and we had the back door open to let some air in. Some people were out in the backyard and at this time of year it's just nice to keep the doors and windows open down here.

About fifteen minutes later there was a ruckus the likes of which could have awakened the dead. Guests were running and screaming. The dogs were going completely ape you know what (I'm still not cussing), barking, howling and growling. There was hissing and screeching. I heard things fallings and people scrambling. It was basically mass hysteria.

It turns out that the pushy cat had gone around to the backyard and just sauntered right on inside the house through the open back door, not anticipating dogs. It probably wanted more cheese or just to hang out and be a part of the family. Well, no one really noticed it, except the dogs and the dogs went after the cat. The cat fought back and tried to scratch one of the dogs and the bigger dog tried to bite the cat, but the cat jumped on top of the couch, all arched and fuzzed out like a bottle brush, hissing. This whole event frightened several guests and the dogs tried to jump on the couch to get the cat, who then decided to open up a Costco-sized can of whoopass on them. By then my mom, who is so good with pets, managed to corral the dogs, get them out of the room and then set to work calming the cat so we could collect it and get it back outside. Then we discovered that in terror, the poor cat had peed itself, so we had to wipe up the cat. We gave it a thorough inspection to make sure it wasn't hurt (it was fine, just nervous) and once we had it calm and purring, we put it back outside where it took off running down the street, never to be seen again. I really don't think this cat will be back anytime soon. I also think it learned its lesson about not inviting itself into the homes of strangers.

But my goodness, that certainly added some excitement to our Christmas Eve.


MtnMama said...

hahaha! Considering some of the humans you've encountered, I'll bet you were happy the Crasher was of the cat variety! Merry Christmas, WL!

Maria said...

"Canela has a very short tail, which she is sensitive about so I'd rather not write any more about it publicly."

Possibly my favorite line you have ever written.

Diane Laney Fitzpatrick said...

Do you think it was there representing Canela, who couldn't make it?

Albany Jane said...

ohmygosh. That's awesome! What an uppity cat, but I'd probably let him into my house. Either that, or my dad would try to take him home with him!

Miss Kitty said...

EPIC LOL! WL, this post made me laugh so hard. That's the funniest holiday pet story I've heard in a long time!

Hope your Christmas was a nice one, and that 2010's a great year for you. (((hugs)))

--Miss Kitty from E&P

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. Did you get married yet. I'm still holding my breath.

BohoPoetGirl said...

Awesome! I haven't read any blogs in a long time, and this just cracked me the hell up, especially since I just moved into my moms house with my little dog and she has two cats who are way bigger and not his biggest fans. I shall read this story to him in an attempt to raise his spirits, as the (aptly put) bottle brushtail of one cat is nearly bigger than him. ps. I started a new blog, if you want the link email me.

mcgrimus said...

Cats are funny. When I was a kid I had a cat named Cuddles. One day my friend and I were in my room playing video games, and Cuddles was napping on the bed. My friend decides it would be funny to turn up the sound on the TV right before the game begins, which was some karate game. Well, the opening screen comes on to the deafening howl of a karate master. Scared the hell out of me, since I hadn't seen my friend raise the volume, but my cat almost literally hit the ceiling. He flew off the bed and up the wall, hanging there for what seemed an impossible amount of time for a cat to defy gravity. When he finally landed he took off.

And this was one tough cat, who once chased the neighbor's Marmaduke-sized dog out of our yard.

Anonymous said...

i haven't seen a new post since Christmas. I love cats and this story, but I'm still waiting to hear from you about your birthday party. Please don't leave us hanging for long. You deserve a long vacation and I understand that your internet is out, . . . but get back to us soon. You can throw twitter to the curb as far as I am concerned!

A said...

We're jonesing for some WL here! I don't much care for the brevity of Twitter.

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