Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Not An Armadillo

I had no idea my husband was such a city slicker. He's from California though - a particularly urban, progressive part of California and before me he'd never spent any time on the East Coast and had never been to The South. Things I take for granted are completely foreign to him. Like Horseshoe Crabs. I decided to take him to the beach outside of Millpond. It's not really a real beach. You definitely can't "go to the beach" there. It's a muddy, marshy brown spit of sand and stones at the edge of the Bay. I've never seen anyone brave enough to actually swim there and there have always been rumors of aggressive sand sharks. Still, when I was little we liked to come out to this beach to pick up stones and sea glass, which is for some reason, in abundance. It's a nice change from the manicured, perfect tourist beaches. This is a "wild" beach. I kind of like the quiet of it. Anyway, this beach is like Mecca to Horseshoe Crabs. For hundreds of years area farmers have been going there to scoop up their beached carcasses to use as fertilizer on their fields. They are just everywhere, these things. As children we used to pick up the dead ones by their tails and chase one another. My cousin used to scare the living Hell out of my sister with them. Well, my husband and I were walking down the beach and bless his heart, he saw one, and serious as a heart attack, he asked me "Is that an armadillo?" I almost fell down in the sand laughing. I told him what it was and he was just horrified. He had to pull out his iPhone and try to look it up on Wikipedia except, not only was there no 3G, there was no cellular service period. Poor thing. Two minutes later he was running screaming down the beach because a "flying tick" was chasing him and trying to bite him on the leg. "My love," I explained, "That is what we call a horsefly." To which he replied: "What is it with you people and horses around here?"

9 comments:

Last Minute Lyn said...

That was funny. I miss Horseshoe crabs on the beach.
Point Lookout has a lot of them washed up too.

Steve said...

I too am originally from a very urban part of California. we visited a friend in a very rural part of texas, went fishing at a watering hole for cows, there was a cow with horns. I assumed that any cow with horns was a bull... after my friends stopped laughing after five minutes they explained cows can have horns also...

Tamarillicent said...

I grew up visiting a 'wild' beach regularly, too. My grandmother showed us how to dig up and catch fiddler and hermit crabs. We used to tie a string around the neck of empty apple juice bottles, stuff bread inside and toss it into the water to catch a bottle full of little fish. We'd stomp around the beach at low tide trying to get the quahogs to squirt at us. We'd collect periwinkles, run from the giant green horseflies, hunt for shells and dead horseshoe crabs... Then as a teenager, I went to 'the beach' with friends. All white sand and people! Give me a wild beach anyday!!

OpeningStanza said...

I will never forget driving north to visit my family with my Florida husband. As we drove, he kept looking out the window at the ground until he finally asked, "What's that stuff on the grass?" I said, "That's frost, Honey. That's frost."

Anonymous said...

OMG! I seriously what laughing so hard at this post!!!!

Linda

The Fifth Sparrow said...

My husband could totally relate. Anywhere more than 12 blocks from a 7-11 is roughing it for him.

We visited friends on Vancouver Island. They thought I was part dog since as soon as the doors would open, I'd run for the ocean, he just stood on the sand in case there was "stuff" in there.

I love beach glass!

JoeinVegas said...

No crabs in Florida? We con't have either crabs or armadillos here in Nevada.

Aleta said...

ROTFLMAO - THAT was hilarious!

KT said...

I love 'wild' beaches too! Never seen a horseshoe crab in the wild, though...

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