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Yeah I know, everyone's family is crazy. But yours doesn't need a flow chart to explain and it doesn't blend convicted felons, watermelon salesmen, Baptist missionaries and orthodox Jews. You didn't move 29 times and go to 8 different high schools and your sister isn't really your aunt. Lastly, you didn't have a monkey. I survived all of this and now I live in South Florida around a bunch of lunatics in a place where (like Hemingway said) the lawns are wide and the minds are narrow.
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