Thursday, July 02, 2009

Acupuncture Update

Well, I am back from my acupuncture appointment and feeling quite one with the universe here. It was different from what I expected. I found it to hurt a little more than people say it does, but nothing major and nothing I couldn't handle by any means and I felt so so so much better afterwards that I would say a little pinprick is worth it.

I am going to the acupuncturist for relief of the symptoms caused by my autoimmune issues, one of which is bothering me particularly lately. I am also going because my health causes me enormous anxiety and fear which interferes with my daily functioning and creates a vicious cycle where I worry about my health, then because I am worrying I have more symptoms and then I worry more and I can't get out of it. The constant anxiety hurts my spirit and makes me act in ways that just aren't who I am or want to be.

According to the acupunturist, I am blaming myself for my health too much. I am also starving myself and all of my anxiety is caused by my physical problems not the other way around. In other words, I'm not really doing this to myself and I'm not responsible for what ails me. That made me feel a lot better and less guilty. He also said that I am "All About the Liver." Hmmm.

Then I layed on a nice soft table and he stuck needles on the insides of my fingers, my left elbow, both of my feet and somewhere in the middle of my right arm. You can definitely feel the needles going in. It's less than the pain of a shot, so it's no big deal, but you can feel the needles. Once they've been in for a while you can't feel them until they move them. I sat still for a while and he came back and twisted and twirled the needles until it felt like electric shocks were traveling up and down my body, which was not without pain, but also not unpleasant either. My left arm began to ache mildly as well. But then I noticed an absence of the constant annoying mental chatter that torments even in my sleep. It just went away. I stopped worrying. I began to admire a spot on the ceiling. I imagined a big hole cut in the crown of my head (which is what I do when I compose poetry by the way) and a wave of white light rushing in (also what I do when I write poems) and I just felt like everything was going to be ok for once. I felt like I could be in the present instead of my usual five steps ahead of the present because oh my god something terrible might happen five minutes from now and I have to be prepared for it and save everyone from it. And I just felt calm and peaceful in a way that I honestly never have, never once. I have been crying all day long in relief. I know that sounds crazy, but it's true. I'm just relieved and to feel that after never feeling it, is really something.

After I left I cried because I felt so happy and the Royal Poinciana tree looked so pretty and Canela was so soft and I could feel her entire soft body ripple with vibrations when I picked her up and I wasn't thinking about my husband getting into a car accident or the mail getting wet in the storm or fifty things I need to do by tomorrow or how I may have forgotten a deadline. It was all gone. All that nonsense was gone.

So this worked for me. If this is just a placebo I don't care. I feel better.


Ordinary Housewife said...

I'm not 100 percent sure about this, but I think you were ONE WITH THE UNIVERSE!
Sure sounds like it.
I had a similar experience when I had my neck cracked by a chiropractor for the first time. I burst into tears the way some people cry after sex or after waking up from anesthesia.
Congratulations. You may have found a cure-all for basically everything.

Anonymous said...

Acupuncture was the only thing that ever worked for me when I blew out the two bottom disks in my spine. Sounds like you a) have great energy and b) had seriously blocked chi pathways. That negative energy can get trapped, and it's important to release it periodically. You've been through a lot in your life, so I can see where you'd have adopted the strategy of containing your energy so that you could use it to survive. But you have a lot of energy - good energy - and when you are brave enough to release it, you'll make even more. I'm so happy for you that you experienced that one-ness with the Universe! Hugs, Sunny

Jeannie said...

Sounds like it's worth trying.

Nanci said...

OH! I am so thrilled that you have found this outlet! You and I worry over the same things and cause ourselves sickness from the anxiety. I have seriously thought about acupuncture, but have never tried! (Worry too much about it) I think that you have given me the confidence to go! I'm glad this worked so well for you. I wished I had 5 minutes of non-worrying; that for me would be life changing. Congrats again! I hope that you have a fantastic weekend holiday!

Albany Jane said...

How lovely that you feel so utterly calm! The accupuncture sounds worth it for that reason alone.

kjl said...

I'm so glad this worked for you! I tried Acupuncture once a week for 6 weeks a few years ago because of back pain, and although I didn't get any ultimate relief from my pain, I did find it incredibly relaxing. I fell asleep on the table during every treatment. I would have kept doing it if it wasn't for the $75 a week price tag! :)

Joy said...

So happy for you! I love acupuncture. I too feel complete and whole and quiet inside after-wards. I also fall asleep every time. The only other thing that stops the "mind chatter" for me is when i ride my horse. Which isn't practical 24/7. YAY for you!!!!

gigiofca said...

I'm with Joy. I always fall asleep, too. They usually hope you do because they know so much we all need sleep.

Yay on a good session!

Green said...

I've never had acupuncture but it sounds like, despite the mild pain, it was a REALLY good experience for you. You really should NOT feel guilty about your health, unless you routinely roll around in mud that 500 tobacco chewers spit into multiple times each day. Your body is just what you were given. You can only control so much, you know? If the mail gets wet, it'll dry, or you can get a new bank statement sent out to you.

kerry said...

I'm so glad it worked for you! I've never been to an acupuncturist so I was curious how it was.

MtnMama said...

I am a fan of alternative treatments that aren't otherwise harmful. I've experienced more relief from chiropractic, yoga, and homeopathic stuff than any traditional doctors.
My one try with Acupuncture was to try to make my Breech baby turn around. It didn't work, but then nothing else did either (including the ECV - External cephalic version - which HURT). But I ended up with a perfect child, so no harm, no foul. ;)

I agree that you seemed to have become "one with the universe" - good; the universe needs you!

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