Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Wide Lawns Bridal Guide Introduction

Last week I went wedding dress shopping with a friend of mine who is to be married in October and the whole ordeal was much easier than I expected. This is mostly because she is beautiful and skinny as hell and pretty much anything looks good on her. You could wrap her in a towel and send her down the aisle and the guests would still gasp at her beauty. I had kind of dreaded the whole dress shopping thing because I've seen it go terribly awry with others. This time it went very smoothly, but it reminded me of my own dress shopping experience and it got me to thinking that I should write a Bridal Guide and share some of my expertise on the subject as it is wedding season after all and I know no fewer than five brides-to-be in current fevered frenzies of wedding planning.

This has been on my mind for a while actually. A couple months ago when I asked readers to ask me questions and give me feedback on what they'd like to read about, one comment stood out. Someone wanted to know about my wedding dress. I thought that was really odd and potentially interesting, so I kept it in the back of my mind. Then, about a month ago when I was dying of Bunny Flu, my single friend Carina came over and watched a marathon of "Bridezillas" with me. We were both horrified and riveted.

"Can you believe this?" Carina asked.

"These people are awful," I said.

Our favorite was a white trash Bridezilla from I think Montana or Wyoming who hated her new in-laws and was having them all banned from "her" wedding. This girl was pure evil, but the thing is, I've seen her kind before.

Carina and I sat stunned as other Bridezillas, suffering from a slew of anxiety disorders, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder and just plain Nasty Selfish Bitch Disorder screamed, threw tantrums, hyperventilated and destroyed chairs, flowers, cakes and everyone else's sanity.

"There are really people who act like this," I said, "I've seen them."

"Ughh, so have I. You though, were nothing like this," Carina said.

"Of course not. It's ridiculous. I should write a bridal guide."

"You should."

And so I am.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG, your wrote on my suggestion!
I've been reading your blog forever, and I love your stories. Thank you soooo much for responding to my Q!

Anonymous said...

I also am looking forward to this
from your perspective.

Cathi:)

seryan said...

God, Bridezillas *shudder*. I used to work in a bakery, and every so often one would come in and pitch herself a full-on princess fit because we couldn't make her a massive tiered cake two days before her wedding. I know it was "only" a supermarket bakery, but still! It takes time! I've also seen them red-faced and screaming over shoes, and I just want to go over and slap them, because you know they've got a floor-length gown and no one's going to see the damn shoes. The damn shoes they will pay a fortune for, and then never wear again.

Living in Muddy Waters said...

Oh, the stories my hubby could give you!

MamaD4 said...

Ah, Bridezillas, my favorite dirty-little-secret show! It just so happens that I was watching the episode you discuss here on Monday night (on Polish TV, but in English), with the bride who was banning her in-laws from the wedding and picking fights with her future sister-in-law, father-in-law, the nail salon owner, etc. She really was one of the worst I've seen and the other bride on that episode was really bad too--the one with the blue dress, I think? She was SO mean to her fiancee! Man, those were two REALLY classy ladies!

It would be kind of cool if there was a follow-up on some of these Bridezillas, to see how their marriages were working out...!

sadi said...

"The wedding is over before you know it and then you're stuck with a partner who farts and throws wet towels on the floor and poops with the bathroom door open and inevitably will have several habits that in five years will sometimes make you want to stick a fork in his or her eyeball."

HAHAHA!! That cracks me up. I'm going to show this to my husband of 26 years (as of May 27!). We'll both get a huge laugh out of it.

Great writing as always!

ty-ping said...

Oh god.

I really am never planning on getting married except as a conveniance in order to get a loan for a house.

But when I am... I dunno either Vegas wedding or I'm just letting my Mom plan it all. I don't even want to know about Bridezillas, I've got my "Stupid Quota" filled by watching "So you think you can dance"

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