Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I Don't Practice Santeria... Part 3

(my finger is healing really nicely.)

The carved wooden head scared the crap out of me. But I kind of liked it at the same time. As much as it was scary, it also seemed as if it wasn't scary at all, like it was looking out for me, smiling at me. I kept it in my room so nothing would happen to it. We had two cats at the time and I could easily imagine them engaging in a boisterous soccer game across our white tiled floors, using the head as their ball and banging it against the baseboards at all hours of the night.

Alberto Reyes called the next morning looking for his head. He had no idea what happened, he said. He had never left it anywhere and he promised to come get it back immediately. When he arrived, he had brought me an enormous bundle of gardenias, all waxy petaled, sweet and dripping with rain. They scented the entire house.

"You said you liked these," he said, "So I brought you some from my house. My tree is full of them."

"They smell so good!" I exclaimed.

"I'll bring them for you whenever I come. Got to get on your good side. I don't want to piss them off, you know."

"Who?"

"The spirits, Baby. Can't make them mad."

"How would you make them mad?"

"Pissing you off."

"Pissing me off makes the spirits mad?" I asked.

"Oh yeah. You're special. You don't know that?"

I shook my head.

"I'm special? Me?"

"Oh yes," Alberto said.

I thrilled at the idea of being special. At the time I was an awkward, nervous teenager who had trouble making friends and couldn't concentrate in school. I was skinny, disorganized and sensitive. I had always wanted to be special.

"You are very, very special," Alberto continued, "The spirits love you. You're like a magnet to them. They're all around you, pretty girl. You don't know it, but they're there and they never leave you. They protect you. They're there for you. I never seen so many spirits on a person. Anybody ever hurt you, the spirits go after them. You want something, the spirits go and get it for you. You are very powerful."

"I am?"

This was extremely exciting because I had never, ever felt powerful.

Alberto took his head back and from then on, whenever he visited he brought me gardenias. If they weren't blooming he brought me tomatoes or mangoes that he grew. If nothing grew, he brought loaves of hot, airy Cuban bread or pots of black beans.

And pretty soon I began to see that maybe Alberto Reyes had been right. Nobody better ever fuck with me.

Throughout my life, there has been a long pattern of people who did me wrong coming to no good end. At the opposite end of that, the people who treated me kindly have all done very well for themselves. Then there is the whole unexplained phenomenon of people I've kissed going on to massive success, as if my very kisses are like blessings. I like these stories the best.

I've tried not to think about the angry co-worker who insulted me and made me cry, leaving work that night only to find himself in a head-on collision that left him in the hospital for weeks. There was the liar whose home was suddenly flooded, all of his possessions ruined, the thieving, gossiping roommate who lost his job immediately after upsetting me, setting off a chain of events that landed him in jail. Then there was the chef who screamed at me for something I didn't do. Mid-rage his wedding ring somehow caught on the edge of a wooden crate, which somehow began to topple over, which then nearly severed his ring finger. The sous-chef rushed him to the hospital and he was out of work for two weeks. When he returned he joked that he was never going to yell at me again. Except it wasn't really a joke and he didn't.

There are too many similar stories to tell you every single one. People who have done me wrong have quickly found out what happens and it usually doesn't take a long time. They'll find themselves in unprecedented runs of bad luck, perpetually under black clouds. Routine tests will come up positive, which is really a negative. They'll lose jobs, small leaks will collapse their ceilings, their cars will begin to cough and sputter, they'll find a lump. Everything will start to hurt.

My stepmother was the most vivid example. Never has another person done me so wrong. Never has anyone suffered such a horrible, undignified death with so many people saying how much she deserved exactly what she got. Except me, which is the greatest irony of all. I had forgiven her. To me, she was a sick, unhappy person. Although her means were despicable, selfish and cruel, ultimately she had been the catalyst needed to finally return me to my mother. For that end alone, I forgave her means. I never wished upon her the death she received, but I can't control these things.

I've never wished suffering on anyone. But I can't control these things. Perhaps it's all a coincidence. I'm a sensible, practical girl. It makes sense to me that people who hurt other people, who live in bitterness and anger will bring disaster upon themselves. Anxiety and depression make people lash out at others. Anxiety and depression also have physical manifestations. Stress makes people sick. Angry people are more impulsive, so naturally they drive recklessly or perform poorly at work. Negative thinking breeds bad luck. Maybe that's what's happening here.

Or maybe it isn't.

A few years ago, in an entirely different setting I had the occasion to meet a Lakota Medicine Man. We were in a professional, very practical, real life, official sort of situation where no ghosty, woo woo kind of foolishness would have been even remotely appropriate. The Medicine Man wore a suit and lived in a regular house, not a tee pee, and there was definitely no sweat lodging involved in our interaction.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me, "Where did you come from?"

I told him my professional duty to be where I was and all the places I'd lived which made him laugh.

"Are you checking up on me?"

"Umm, no, considering you're actually my superior."

"I'm going to stay on your good side," he said, "I haven't seen one of your kind in a long time."

"What kind?"

"You're one of the Thunder People. Very powerful spirits. Very."

A few weeks later I was honored when he gifted me with some beautiful feathers.

"I'm giving you your name," he said and then he said it in his language, translating it afterwards.

"She Who Makes Thunder."

"Use the power for good. Change the world. And don't let anyone mess with you."

I am taking his advice.

24 comments:

Lauren said...

That is too wierd. Especially that two seperate people said they sensed something about you! Better post your address so we can all start mailing you gifts to get on your good side :-)

MtnMama said...

I love this. Yes, people's negative energy works against them, but we don't know what the limits or boundaries or methods of energy are. I'm a practical and pragmatic person, but I also believe there is more out there, grasshopper, than we can define.

May the force be with you ;)

Dawn said...

I loved this story, especially since I was just recently questioning something rather similar in my own life. I even started to wonder if I was developing a bit of a Messiah complex...but your story has brought things to a new dimension for me. As always, thanks for sharing. Lots to think about.

JoeinVegas said...

Um, perhaps I could get you to blow a few kisses this way?

Wolfie said...

Next time you are in L.A. will you kiss me? I'm a woman, but it doesn't have to be a sexual kiss right? Just a sweet, bless you kiss on the cheek? I could use some good luck. My dog Wolfgang has been missing since 04.19.09 and I've done everything to find him. will you ask your spirits to guide him home? I miss him a lot. I'm serious.

:-)
Reiven

kibrika said...

Ooh, now the rain story makes sense.

Amanda said...

What an amazing story. I loved it.

Laurie said...

woah!! Remind me never to piss you off! :-O

Great story

Anonymous said...

Those poor peacocks.

- lowwall

Albany Jane said...

She who makes thunder? Wow! Have you ever mentioned this to your grandmother, in light of the safari storm?

Jeannie said...

Interesting - if this is true then the spirits fucking hate me.

And I'm not an enraged vindictive person getting what they have coming.

The Meganekko said...

@kibrika and Albany Jane--that's exactly what I thought of when she said that her name was "She Who Makes Thunder".

I guess the closest I've ever come to something like this was when I was eight and thought I was one of the two witnesses out of the book of Revalations; somehow, I managed to neatly avoid the fact that they're supposed to be Jewish. And male. >_>

CC said...

I'm convinced I've made a few things happen in my life, by sheer will power. Usually I'd dismiss such foolishness, but I'm not entirely closed to the possibility that there's something else, like MntMama said, that we can't define but is definitely there.

jm-kaye said...

It wasn't the Rabbi! IT WAS YOU!
http://widelawns.blogspot.com/2007/08/last-night.html

ericam said...

Whoa!!! The Safari ride. What was that phrase.. rumble rumble rumble something something? That just creeped me out in a neat way.

Heather said...

I have to ask what was your ex-fiance's comeuppance? Surely he is cruising for a major spiritual bruising m'dear...

BoB said...

um, sorry I gave you shit about misspelling butcher

ns said...

Very cool story - I love it that they both cofirmed your inner power. I believe it. You go!

Anonymous said...

My wife says everything you do, good or bad, comes back to visit you three times....

Karma, it works, bitches.

hungry said...

OMG!! That is so cool!!! I want to be be a thunder person too!! Do you get an official badge or something?

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on people's energy coming back to haunt them... bad energy out comes back...

Fascinating that people see you as being so powerful...

I'm glad your finger is healing.

Sinclair said...

Ouch... poor Peacock who attacked your Saturn! He's probably road kill by now for messing with you :)

Ok now seriously, I've seen weird things that my city upbringing can't explain. Out in the "Llanos" I saw an indian "pray cows" for a farmer. The farmer's cows had stopped producing milk and were dying of starvation. Supposedly another farmer had "cursed" his cows. Upon each cow being "prayed" by the indian, hundreds of worms started surfacing from the cow's skin and falling on the grass.

Just because science can't explain spirits, it doesn't mean they don't exist.

TK said...

Do you have any ability to tell the spirits to take it "easy" on anyone who messes with you? Do you have any blanket coverage for your lovely hubs? It's very interesting to read this, that people who are sensitive can see this energy around you. You should try ghostbusting or something!

People who eff me over mostly seem to go on to prosper greatly, WTF is up with that?! I know everyone thinks they are a nice person, but I have been told by a lot of people that I'm decent and kind. I actually feel sorry for people who have to lash out or make me responsible for their own shit, I think it's because I look like I won't fight back so I'm a safe target. It's always been really cruel and unfair shit, including a lot of theft. There was the SOB who stole about 10K worth of my bronzes, he had a heart attack and then died within a year, I hadn't forgiven him and I was a lot younger then, but I think it was all the people he stole from working on him.

One other person I have had to forgive over and over for egregious offenses (I still get angry about it sometimes) moved to Galveston, got stuck in the fallout from two hurricanes, may have had damage to her house AND apparently was slated for the layoffs at UTMB, which would certainly be just desserts. But
there was a ton of money and great stuff given to her for a long time before that, and she's a psychopath to boot. Maybe any karma working on those who effed me over is realllly slow.
If I could choose I would choose that they had never felt the need to do so much damage in the first place, it would mean that they were happy and wise.

If we get down to the level of quantum physics everything really is one. Every faith that says this has that right. So if someone messes with anyone else they are just hurting themselves. Maybe you have an instant karma thing going on, you are a conductor of karma for the universe...?

Use that power wisely for sure.

Amy said...

I've been away/busy/sick and am finally catching up on blogs. What a fantastic story!

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