Monday, February 16, 2009


Ok, so I've had all sorts of wildness going on as of late and I'm going to fill you in on where I've been.

Mainly, I've been working on my thesis. It's a collection of poetry designed to drive me completely out of my mind. It's not even very long, but my God, I've spent entire days working and reworking nothing more than a half a page of text. Poetry is maddening like that. The funny thing is that my poetry is so vastly different from what I write on here that you wouldn't even think the same person wrote it, and in a way, it isn't the same me. So, when I'm focused on poetry it's kind of hard for me to get out of that mindset and into the point of view that I get in when I blog. It's hard to explain, but in order for me to write poetry I have to force myself into an almost trance-like state where (I know this sounds nutty) I visualize a hole cut into the back of my head into which something divine then delivers the poems to me. Insane. I know. Poets are crazy. If you would like to read one of my poems let me know in the comments and I'll be brave and post one so that then you all can be like: "Where are the strippers? Where are the smelly dogs and the schizophrenic relatives? She couldn't possibly have written this."

So I've been thesis writing. It's due this week.

But other things have been happening too...

1. My carpal tunnel flared up wickedly for the first time in almost two years. When it does I have to take a break from typing and write by hand. I do special exercises and alternate heat and ice and it generally goes away in a few days. It did. I'm ok now.

2. My health has been an issue for a while and since last summer it had gotten pretty bad. I made some radical lifestyle changes which were really for the better. My continuing pilates classes are really helping. Well, I had to get about ten bazillion blood tests done last week. At one point they removed so much blood from me that it made me ill and I had to eat ice cream (great excuse). I was a complete wreck worrying about how bad the tests were going to come out because I'd been having some odd symptoms and they were testing me for things that could potentially kill me. I was absolutely freaking out. Also, the tests would tell me if I could safely have children and I was really preparing myself for the rheumatologist to tell me bad news. Finally, Friday morning came and the results were good. No active signs of disease or any kind or inflammation and no active Lupus, most importantly. Even my autoimmune thyroid disease is in remission. If I so choose I can safely have children, so now I don't have to worry about accidentally getting pregnant and the guilt I would feel if I did. The strange symptoms I occasionally have are the result of some mild radiation damage and/or accidentally eating gluten. Since I stopped the gluten three months ago the antibody levels in my blood have gone down dramatically. Honestly, I feel like this is a miracle. And you know, now that I think about it, I think I sensed that I was better because my hair stopped falling out, for the first time in a long time my fingernails grew and I got that cold sore. The cold sore signified that my immune system wasn't wildly overactive anymore.

3. My Uncle Garble, the schizophrenic one, has decided that "he has murder in his heart" now and that he wants to kill my mother and Aunt Kiki (his sisters). Luckily this isn't a threat because he lives in Millpond and never leaves his trailer. He just sends them wacky, disturbing letters.

4. Eating like an asshole - let me show you how. I gained five pounds in the past month, even with the pilates. So unfair. I really need to get back on track. I think I was stress eating, which is not ok and I also think that being healthy and actually feeling better again made my appetite come back with a vengeance. So, I need discipline and I need to cut the shit. Maybe we can eat better together.

5. Pilates! Yay! I am pleased to report that while I have still not farted in class that A. someone else did once and I managed not to laugh and B. I almost peed on myself once, but luckily didn't. I can't express to you how much I like pilates. I think the teachers really help. They remind me of my teachers from high school health class. They're a married couple who are frighteningly positive and patient and who give lots of high fives. At least twenty times throughout each class they say to "give yourself a hug because you deserve it!" And I do, because dammit I'm a good person and people like me.

6. I had the best Valentine's Day ever. My husband got me this perfume, and I am in rapture over it and I don't even like perfume very much. I LOVE the way this smells and I love Jo Malone over all. I think her fragrances are really original and different from all the other perfumes you find in department stores. I got Husband some shirts and best of all - I got him a travel neti pot that's small and made of plastic so it's not heavy in a suitcase. Now, when he travels he doesn't have to have a stuffy nose. If only he could refrain from dripping hot sinus water on me afterwards.

7. I happened upon a gold mine. I found my old journals from high school. I will be posting some of the more hilarious entries very soon.

That's it. Later this week we'll also talk about my American Idol obsession and how Big Nort finally got out of jail. Maybe I'll also tell you about how Canela came to be my cat, since I posted her cute picture last week.

I hope you're all happy and well.


FreeDragon said...

Yes please, post a poem.

bebe said...

I'm happy to hear that you are well, though busy. It would be amazing to see the contrasts in your writing if you were brave enough to post some of your poetry. P.S. Have you already done the Canela post?

CC said...

1) Let me be one of the people request some poetry. I'd love to see one of your poems.

2) Also, I would like to demand more cat pictures, because Canela is way too adorable.

Anonymous said...

I love Jo Malone perfume -- it always smells sophisticated and original. I can't afford an actual bottle of it until I finish grad school, though, so I use little sample scent bottles of it from Nordstrom. Lame, but effective.

Whiskeymarie said...

I am still searching for my high school journal- how exciting (and, I'm sure- horrifying to a degree) that you found yours!

Glad you're doing well, health-wise. The world needs both of us healthy and feisty.

char said...

a poem would be wonderful~

those muscles that you held to not pee in Pilates~that's your core to squeeze during the routines.

perhaps your putting on muscle...? when the body cleanses/heals things often get worst at first; are you eating 5-6 small meals across a range of food groups (yes~ chocolate is a food group :-) is a thesis reading group online and cross-cultural~ come join us.

Wide Lawns said...

I considered that maybe I was putting on muscle, but I'm not eating 5-6 times like I should and I've been eating too much dairy. I will definitely come join your group! Thanks.

Kirsten B said...

Please, post some poetry!

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