Monday, November 03, 2008

This is Where I Lived

This is the house where I lived at the time of the story I am about to tell you. The little girl in the red sweater lived in this house. This looks like the most idyllic home. It could be Green Gables itself. Imagine all the fun a child could have with all that space; that big yard. But this house was miles from town, far out in the country with nothing around for miles. Bella and I drove to see it when I was in Millpond a few weeks ago. I needed to see this house and when I got there I thought it how beautiful it was and how I'd kill to live in it now though at the time I did live there I hated it. Back then, 24 years ago, the house was a dump. It had been built in 1895 and had belonged to a lady named Alice Brown for her entire life. She had just died when my biological father married his wife. A farmer bought the house and rented it out to us without doing any upgrades at all. When we moved out the farmer moved in himself and redid the entire home, adding a large extension onto the east side which is the right side in the picture. He repainted it, ripped the hideous screens from the front porch and cleaned up the yard. It looks like a fairy tale now, but trust me, when I lived in it it looked haunted and was, to me, the setting for a horror movie that was my actual life, because I lived in this house with two, cruel lunatics and it was cold and creaked. Mostly they made me stay in my room. My windows were the two left windows above the porch. I used to stare out of them for hours because I was always sent to my room. I even had my meals in there, although at the time I was stressed out and sorrowful that I didn't eat. I feared my food was poisoned and that I night choke to death and no one would help me. I thought my father and stepmother wanted me dead. Sometimes I would open the windows and sit on the windowsill with my feet on the porch roof and watch storms roll in from the bay, which was about ten miles to the east. I watched tractors kneading the earth, roiling dust devils and I watched flocks of blackbirds turn in unison, over the bean fields. Then I got caught and regretted ever opening that window. But, I thought, if I could just win the election, they might change their minds about me. Things might change. They might get better.


Aleta said...

You took that lovely house, that dream home look, and turned it into a haunted house with your childhood description. I'm so sorry that you went through what you did..

Miss Kitty said...

My God...what a beautiful and heart-wrenching post.

JoeinVegas said...

Wow. I find it dificult to understand how people can treat kids like that.

Kore said...

It looks like the American Gothic house.

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