Monday, September 29, 2008

How I Met My Husband Part 3

I'm sorry for writing this story in so many installments. It's because I keep having to leave, so I stop when I run out of time. That may happen again, but I want to get as much done as I can this morning. We're almost to the end anyway.

The next morning I woke up and had breakfast and started to feel guilty. I kept thinking about this poor guy who thought I was interested in him who flew all the way across the country only to see my family get into a fight and act like utter white trash. Then after all that I consented to cuddle with him (and why I would cuddle with a guy I had zero attraction to whatsoever I had no idea), and then refuse to kiss him. I felt like a royal asshole. I decided to spend lots of time with him that day while making it very clear to him that we were definitely going to be friends but nothing more.

Two things stood in my way. One, I was bringing Ethan the sunflower tattoo guy to the Boat Parade party at Abe's house. Obviously that was why he had called me three times the night before, right? To tell me he wanted to come as my date. The other issue I had was that I promised Abe that I would cater his party of 200 people myself and I had barely started prep work on that. Of course my family was helping me, but none of us had done anything and it was already ten in the morning. This is fairly typical behavior for us. Just call us the Last Minute Lawns.

I had a cup of coffee and called Ethan Sunflower.

"So you're coming right?" I asked.

"Umm, well. Last night I thought I was, but, ummm, well, I don't know if I can borrow my mom's car tonight because she's going to a party too and yeah. I'm kind of hungover. I got so wasted last night."

I could actually hear him doing bong hits and at that moment I decided that I didn't really want Ethan to be my date after all.

"Well that's ok," I said.

"Maybe you could pick me up?"

"No, I don't really want to. I'm too busy. I don't think I'll have time," I replied.

"Oh, well. Yeah. I didn't think I wanted to go anyway. Sounds lame. A bunch of boats with Christmas lights on them, whatever. Boring," he said.

After I finished my coffee I felt even guiltier for some reason. This is an inherent personality trait of mine. I feel guilty all the time. Sometimes I feel guilty for no reason and search desperately for something to feel guilty about. Like tsunamis.

I drove down the road to Abe's house to get San Francisco. I figured the least I could was hang out with the guy, who was, as I remembered, sweet and easy to talk to. I found him in Abe's backyard, blaring Christmas music and dancing around and singing as he decorated Abe's backyard with Christmas lights and garlands of plastic holly and fake pine for the party.

Gone was the nerd of the night before. This guy had his cute, mussed up hair back and he was dressed normal. I have to admit he looked a little skater-ish and I found that really cute.

"You look totally different!" I said.

He taped a glittery star to the back door.

"Look," he said, "I wanted to make a good impression on your parents, so I tried to clean myself up for them. I don't normally look like that, even when I go to work."

I nearly fell down in a fit of hysteria at that comment.

"MY PARENTS!!!! HA!!!!"

"Well I quickly realized and I spent the whole night feeling like an idiot in that outfit with my hair combed over."

"You look way better now," I said.

"Thanks," he said and I swear he blushed.

I explained to him my situation with the catering and he said that he would love to help me out. He had to finish decorating, so I went back home and within an hour he was in the kitchen beside me chopping and sauteeing like a professional. We listened to Christmas music all day as we rolled meatballs and made fruit platters. He made perfect risotto (it was an Italian themed party). All day long we laughed and cooked.

Later we realized that somehow we had forgotten to buy rolls for the sandwiches so we drove to Publix, but there was no parking and we had to drive around the block. Do not ask me how I managed this but I parked behind a fence that had no gate and the straightest shot to Publix was over the fence. I'm still trying to remember how this all worked and I can't remember exactly.

What I do remember was that it was late afternoon and the sun was the color of ginger ale. It was one of those chilly December days we have here where the temperature never gets above sixty and where you have to wear a sweater at night. There was a lot of traffic and noise because everyone was in a festive mood and people were rushing around at the last minute like we were, getting ready for parties.

I remember we came to the fence and I said that I had gotten confused and had lead us in the wrong direction and that we would have to walk a couple of blocks out of the way to get to Publix. When I said that he, very nimbly, jumped over the fence. It was a barbed wire fence and I was scared of it. It wasn't that tall, a little below my shoulders. If it had been waist high I would have stepped over it, but shoulder high scared me. I imagined getting hung up on it and flesh and clothes ripping, which after everything else would be just my luck.

"I don't think I can do it," I said.

"I'll help you."

He held out his hands and somehow lifted me up with such grace that before I realized what was happening I was safely on the ground on the other side of the fence with him.

"See," he said, "That wasn't anything."

"Do it again!" I said.

And so he lifted me up and put me back where I was on the other side of the fence, never once questioning my weirdness at wanting to do it again.

He did it again so I was back on his side of the fence.

"Wow!" I said, "That was fun!"

"You want to do it again?"

I said no. Twice was enough. And then we walked to Publix.

Looking back this was the moment when I knew that this was different. I knew that I wanted him to lift me over every fence I encountered. And while we were in Publix squeezing the Kaiser rolls, I made a very conscious decision to go against all of my stupid habits and patterns of going after bad boys and guys who used me, said I wasn't good enough and didn't appreciate me. I decided to give the good guy a fair chance. I wanted a life where I would always be carried over fences, and let me tell you, I am not a petite girl. San Francisco was only two inches taller than me, so lifting me over the fence was no small task. I'm no pixie waif. But he wasn't deterred by my height or my size or anything. So on the way back to the car he put me over that fence a third time.

To be continued... (I know, sorry, but I have to go to school!)


Joy said...

I'm loving this story! Hurry up and get done w/ school. I need to read the rest of it.

Jean_Phoenix said...

This is a wonderful story - more, please!

Anonymous said...

Take your time . . . I'm enjoying the slow path as you remember the details. I don't want a rushed version that would miss anything as you go back and forth over the fence! Truly, take your time, share and remember.

sallyacious said...

Now I have tears in my eyes and a big goofy smile on my face. And you said this wasn't an interesting story!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you gave the good guy a chance. I've seen my friends talk about how much they hate the guys they've been with and want a good guy but then, when they get a chance at a good guy they don't want him because they say he's a geek or something.

There are good men out there. I'm glad you found one and appreciate him.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Awww, you're killin' me. How dare you have a life when I want to be entertained? Maybe these little installments are for the better, making us drool for more.

Green said...

I am loving this. Thank you.

Mattie said...

What they all said x 2.

kerry said...

Yay for you for choosing the good guy!!! **hugs**

Waiting for the rest of it. :) Mostly patiently. :)

Anonymous said...

You know they say good things come in instalments - well not really, but yeah goodness should be prolonged

Last minute lawns haha loved that

Oh and yeah, sunflower guy??!? Really? Oh boy I'd turn the other way with sunflower tatts. I think I draw the line at flower tattoos on guys. He must've be hot.

Pat said...

This is perfect.

Does anyone remember Dr Toni Grant, the radio shrink?

I remember a conversation she had with a "patient," who was constantly choosing the wrong guy.

Basically, she told her that when she felt herself really attracted to someone, to run for the hills. This instant attraction had not worked in the past, so why would it now?

In this story, you are illustrating the other half of her advice, giving the good guy a chance.

Take your time. I'll wait.

foxymoron said...

Can't you ditch school this one time!? I've read every word you've written from wayyyy back at the beginning and this is my FAVORITE! I'm like a crazy person over here waiting for the next installment! Love your stuff so much, thank you thank you :)

TK said...

Helping you cook, lifting you over the fence, OMG! I just teared up!

Anonymous said...

..the fence thing is HUGE

phine said...

Wow...I'm teary-eyed.

This is already so romantic. No wonder you're so happy!

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