Wednesday, July 02, 2008
So I've done a lot of thinking and I know this will disappoint a lot of you but I've decided that I don't want to write about what happened to my sister. I feel terrible about what she's going through and I don't want her story portrayed as cheap gossip. It feels wrong to me to do that to her.

Long story short she was taken by a con man, someone I knew had a lot of problems and that I tried repeatedly to warn her about. It is absolutely tragic what happened to her and because so many of her friends and family members read this I don't want to cheapen it or get facts wrong or humiliate her in any way.

Still, I want good to come out of her suffering. I want this to serve not only as a lesson to her but as a lesson to a lot of people, because it really can happen to anyone and a con job can take many forms, some more subtle than what happened to her. In some cases the con man may be trying to gain control over a person and not be after money at all. Sometimes it's about money and control and if you fall prey you can ruin your life.

I am an extraordinary judge of character, but I wasn't always. It took me a long time and a lot of suffering to finally figure out how to read people well enough not to get involved with people who would ultimately hurt me. Observing the people around me, I've noticed that my skills are rare. Reading other people's blogs I've often found the same thing.

Because of this I'm preparing a post for you about red flags and about how to spot a jackass, con man, abuser or just plain loser. You need to learn to spot these people immediately and get them out of your life before they do you harm. My advice can relate to friendships, romantic relationships or business relationships. I hope you will come back when the post is up and that from what happened to my sister, we'll be able to prevent this crap from happening to someone else.


Missicat said...

Wow, so sorry to hear about your sister. Hope the guy gets what he deserves.
I look forward to your "red flag" post - I am sure it will be helpful to me and many others..

Hilary said...

I'm so sorry about what happened to your sister, and I have no doubt that after struggling with what to do, you made the right decision to approach writing about it this way. Your sister must be very proud of you.

Beverly said...

I am also really sorry to hear about this. I hope there's a special place in hell for people who take advantage of the good nature of others. I also hope that she will seek legal recourse (depending on the situation) because some states have laws against that kind of stuff. At least call a lawyer and see if she can have him arrested.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I hope she can have him thrown in jail or something even worse.

Also, there's a post in my reader that does not show up on your blog.

It's the one titled "This One is For You."

I was just curious why I could see it in the reader and not on your blog.

the Bag Lady said...

I'm impressed with your sensitivity to your sister's story, and she must be grateful to have you in her life.
I'm sorry to hear that she had such an encounter and only hope that it wasn't totally devastating for her.

Everyone will eventually meet someone who is trying to 'con' them in one way or another, so your 'red flag' post will surely be helpful to many. I, for one, am looking forward to it.

Jeannie said...

Any of us can be taken. My mother was conned but refuses to say how or how much because she feels so stupid (and in fact, she is still a very whip smart lady in her 80's). One of the most respected ladies in our community (now deceased but was a TV personality for years and very active in charities) had been married to the premier con man in our community. We had the personal honour of being one of his victims but we called the police on him. Others also had the police looking for him for other things. Years later, we got a cheque in the mail for the amount we were out. I heard rumours he was back in business. There are a lot of conniving and manipulative people out there. Please give your tips. And good for you for not divulging the details of your sister's embarrassment.

Anonymous said...

I hope your sister can recover and be all the wiser and stronger for surviving a con. I'm constantly dealing with con artists that rent from me, and I'd love to hear your advice on how to spot them, because I've been taken by a few of them now, thankfully not for too much. Still, none of my methods of checking them out seem to be working!

Amy said...

Sorry to hear about that. I was really looking forward to the story, but also totally respect your decision. I hope your sister comes out of this ok and that the a*hole gets what he deserves. I'll be back for the red flag post.

TwistedNoodle said...

It really sucks that your sister was taken by a low-life scam artist. Although I was looking forward to the story, I truly understand why you decided against it.

The harsh reality of it is that some people have to experience it for themselves before they "get it", and it's so difficult for their loved ones to watch.

I've been going through something similar with my daughter and as much as I have tried talking with her, she just doesn't see it, so I've decided to keep my mouth shut and when the poo hits the fan, I'll just be there as always for her. Since she reads my blog, posting about it is totally out of the question so I post about the only good that's come of that relationship which is my Lil' Sugar Cookie.

When you post the red flag list, perhaps I'll print it off and accidentally stuff it in the diaper bag. Oops.

Anonymous said...

I'm with the others who were looking forward to your story, but understand your discretion.

I'll look for your red-flag post; be nice to have some tips for spotting 'em.

Anonymous said...

You got to follow your gut instincts and even better you're thinking about us also. Good job! Can't wait to see it.

revintraining said...

I'm sorry about your sis, I really hope some good can come out of this.

Green said...

Since you opened this up, one of the things I've noticed, though it's more rare these days, is that being polite can get in the way of listening to instincts.

Sure it's nice to be nice, but don't confuse being nice with being a good person. When someone is trying to screw you over that's not the time to worry about hurting their feelings.

Best wishes to the WL Sister.

Anonymous said...

I also, through experience, have
learned. That's the part of this that will someday make your sis
feel better - if she learned, it
won't happen again. And that is
what is important. It ALL starts
in the 'eyes' for me, now, and
I've not been wrong yet.

Hi there, been reading you for a
couple of months now -(missed the
original blog but I still say -you're wonderful, and I know your sister
will be better for having you comfort and teach her. I'll definitely be reading!

Kate (happy 4th from Canada)

onthegomom said...

So sorry to hear about your grandfather and your sister. Although your stories are fantastic to read, you have the right to decide what to tell and what not too! Best of luck to your sister.

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