Monday, June 30, 2008
People often comment about my outrageous life. People who sort of even know me in real life sometimes express disbelief until the people who really do know me confirm to them that it's all true. People who don't know me at all usually think I make all this crap up. The funniest part of this to me is that there is so much that I actually don't write about that is about a hundred times crazier than the stuff I actually do write about. If you all only knew. That's all I have to say. If y'all only knew.

Right now is one of those times. I have a story and a half going on in real life right now, but I have chosen not to write about it. I feel it would not be prudent and I'd feel icky writing it. But I want to write about it. I have about a million things that I would like to write about, believe me, and they would make great stories, but a lot of times I choose not to write about things in order to protect family and friends. Other times it just doesn't feel right. Most of the people I write about know I do it and don't mind. A lot of people that I know have asked me to please go ahead and write about them. Some people have asked me not to write about them in a tone that actually means "PLEASE write about me but just change my name." Still others I know would never want to be written about, so I leave them out because I know they are delicate or private or just don't want other people thinking about them. I'm fine with that. Another rule I have is that I don't write about stories that involve pending litigation and lord knows there are plenty of those and luckily none of them involve me and I'd like to keep it that way.

The current story has pending litigation. I want to write about it. I am also trying to be sensitive to the parties involved. BUT OHHHHHHHHH I want to write about this story. It's driving me insane how much I want to write this story. All I can say is that maybe one day I'll get to.

I kind of feel like a jerk telling you all this. I feel like that asshole who says they have a secret but won't tell it. I know I am being that asshole BUT OH MY GOD how I want to write this story. It's causing me physical pain how badly I want to write this story. Maybe I'll just write the story for myself in Word or something and save it and perhaps that will get it out of my system.

In the meantime...

I am going to Iowa in less than a week. This is very exciting. I'll be there almost a month in which I will most likely starve. I have this terrible fear that there won't be anything that I can eat there. I also have a fear of flying on a little plane to Cedar Rapids.

I am still on my gluten-free diet and it's going well. I feel a lot better. I need to stress here that this whole gluten-free BS is not some whim. It has nothing to do with Oprah. I'm not trying to cleanse anything. I just wanted to stop having crippling stomach problems and by God, I have. Acid reflux - gone. IBS - gone. I still don't trust it though. I feel like it's going to come back. I saw last week that the Dooce lady went on some gluten-free diet too. She was totally copying me people. That woman so wants to be like me. It's very obvious. Only she had to stop hers because it wasn't just gluten-free. It appeared to be food-free and she got sick. That does happen when you go food-free.

So yeah, I'm happy with eating gluten-free. I got some good recipes and ideas about what to eat from this girl. I don't know if I have celiac disease or not quite honestly but with my auto-immune illness and thyroid condition I am, apparently, at very high risk for gluten intolerance and I said to myself: "Well it's certainly not going to kill me to not eat wheat and it's not like you need wheat, so what the hell." And it's not big deal. All of my favorite foods are gluten free anyway. Lobster doesn't have gluten. If lobster had gluten I might have a problem. I don't care about bread. I love potatoes and rice. The gluten-free waffles ended up tasting better than the whole grain waffles I was eating before and rice mac and cheese is not discernibly different, so all is well there. I panicked slightly at the thought of not being able to eat mac and cheese, but Annie's rice mac saved me.

Did I mention that I wanted to write that story?

Bella is coming this weekend for the 4th of July with some friends of hers and although I have to leave before she does I am still very happy to see her. I wish she'd bring that stinking kitten of hers.

I want a kitten. I also want to write that story.

It now rains every single day. It's not summer. It's the rainy season.

My parents decided to stop going out this week so they haven't had anymore celebrity sightings. They're just doing boring things like going to the dog park and the gym. They hang out at Urth Cafe from time to time as well, so if any Angelenos would like to stalk them...

Ehn, I am feeling particularly blah today. Must be the weather. I am going to go and think about the situation that I want to write about some more.

I'll probably come back later and write the rest of the funeral story.

19 comments:

kerry said...

There's nothing inherantly unhealthy about avoiding gluten. I'm glad it's working for you! Safe travels to Iowa and back. :)

Eating Dust said...

http://www.healthhutcr.com
There in Cedar Rapids you should be able to find what you need for gluten free stuffs....
That is, if they didnt get washed away.
I'm from a few hours north so I cant check for you.

Whiskeymarie said...

Getakittygetakittygetakittygetakitty
getakittygetakitty...

I am gross. I read this whole post and all I'm thinking is "Yay! She wants a cat! Yay!!!"

God, I need a life. Oh, and also I am interested in how this whole gluten free thing goes, as I'm pretty positive I have a bit of a wheat allergy and have contemplated it myself. But you seem like you have more willpower than me. I'm not sure I can give up wheat-based baked goods.

Jen said...

Writing about something you really, really want to write about but don't think you should is a great way to guarantee visitors. I'm not going to be the only one checking in every day until you succumb. (And honestly, I'll probably keep checking in... you're a hoot!)

Miss Kitty said...

Can't wait to see the rest of your funeral story. And I feel your pain about reeeeally wanting to write something, having a KICK-ASS story going on in real life, but feeling badly about writing it. I'm dealing with that right now, myself.

And I have MANY kittehs. PLEASE come get one on your way back through from Iowa. :-)

Anonymous said...

funny, I went looking for a food co-op in cedar rapids for you but I've been beaten to it

I know a guy who had arthritis so bad he couldn't play his guitar and the gluten-free diet fixed him.

Boomer said...

Good luck with the gluten free regime. We have a friend with autoimmune disorder, and even eating a bagel will lay her out for a week. Going gluten-free has been very good for her -- and as she says, it doesn't stop her from eating a plate of nachos any times she wants!

Anonymous said...

Write it as a story. "On a rainy Florida day . . ." then change all the names and a few identifying characteristics. State that it's based on a true story, with dramatic license. Only you will know what's true. This would be a chance to put in dialogue of what you thought people said or even what they were thinking. Or you could even state, "truth is stranger than fiction" implying that much more is happening.

Jen said...

OMG! I'm going to Cedar Next WEEK! We could totally have lunch! Seriously, that would be awesome!

Bella said...

This is to all of the readers of this particular blog. I know the people in these stories, I have been present for some of these stories, and I have been the subject of some of these stories, and I have to say that it is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!!! Hilarious and fantastical, but TRUE. In fact, I look forward to reading these stories so that I can relive the events that took place. I hope you all enjoy it!

Anonymous said...

Please finish the funeral story. I'm curious to know whether or not you actually spoke with your biological father. The whole he said/she said conversation.

Jennifer said...

Wow, I could have written your entire first paragraph, because that is how my life goes.

There's lots of stories I tell in person that I don't tell online, mainly because I am afraid the person I'm telling them about will someday find it, even if I don't put my last name on the site and don't mention their name. When the story involves the word "dumpster," for example, that's gonna be something people remember, you know? I'd have a lot more material for my future David Sedaris-esque book if I wasn't worried about certain people. Or litigation.

Anyway, you have my sympathies!

Wide Lawns said...

Jen, but I'll be in Iowa City! I'd love to though.

Sinclair said...

The suspense is k.i.l.l.i.n.g me!!!

Jen said...

I have flexible time, maybe we could meet in Coralville? Send me a message through my contact stuff and we can work something out!

bluelikethesky said...

Write it for yourself, okay? Believe me, I know from litigation, and it's worth it to tread lightly.

Or you could just go to a public computer, start a totally anonymous blog, and put it out in the world.

You know, telling some stories is a good way to keep others private for a while longer. I suspect that, whatever the story you are brewing, it could be two stories: one while you're in the middle of it, and one much later.

Best,
A veteran of the battles

BoB said...

OK, Iowa City has a real co-op. BoD and classes and a really nice webpage. They must have volunteer graphic design.

http://www.newpi.com/

The site says they have gluten free deli fare. There's always health related info at co-ops, too. Check there bulletin board for health services that speaks to you and you may have much better results than seeing a quack, errr doctor.

Are you going to the writing thing where Vonnegut used to teach? I know they have other prestigious faculty and alumni but Vonnegut, well shit.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I live in Cedar Rapids. Iowa City's about a 20 minute drive. If you get lonely or bored I would love to buzz down. There are some great restaurants in IC. I could even take you to my favorite. (I posted before about the flood). I really hope to hear from you...
email: miniowa@hotmail.com

Michelle

beatgrl said...

The wheat free diet is working well for me, too. (3 years!) Though I just found out I can't order the mole enchiladas at Lorenzo's anymore. Waaah.

Write the story. Share it when the time is right.

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