Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The Cause of My Insomnia

Since last Friday I have not been able to get a full night's sleep. This is the reason. My cat is standing menacingly on my head all night long and I can't figure out what she wants or what to do about it. I must be clear here. The cat is standing on my head. For no reason. She is not making biscuits in my hair. She is not attempting to cuddle. She is standing on my head exactly as depicted in the accompanying illustration. See the very serious expression on her face in the picture? That's how she looks. Of course I move her. She comes back. I lock her out of the bedroom and she howls at the door. She has food, water, clean litter and no one is stuck down a well. What could this cat possibly want from me? Also, why is she not bothering my husband at all? Why must she torture only me as he snores softly and comfortably, in deep sleep beside me? At one point he woke up to pee and told me the next day that Canela was up in my face staring intently and frighteningly at me as I slept, or tried to sleep rather. I was trying to ignore her. I think she's trying to steal my breath. Internet, please help. What does my cat want?

63 comments:

A Margarita said...

Do you think she wants a playmate? In the form of another cat?

Tina said...

Maybe your cat is sick. I've also heard of cats that sense when someone else is sick or something more serious.

Wide Lawns said...

Oh my God Tina now I'm going to worry that I have cancer or something. She's definitely not sick herself as she is eating a lot and full of energy more than ever.

Margarita - she would beat another cat's behind to a bloody pulp. She's mean.

Reb said...

I'm sorry that you can't sleep, but that is funny. I have no idea why cats do some of the things they do. Sometimes I think my cat gets lost, he will wake up in a room and I am no longer there and he will just howl until I speak to him. It is a small apartment, no need for him to do that!

MP said...

Maybe she puked on your pillow or she left something under your pillow case..

Wash you pillow..see if that changes anything.

Elise said...

I have no idea - really, none whatsoever. But you are REALLY great at drawing cats!

misha said...

i have heard of a cat hitting a womans chest for no reason and it turned out she had lung cancer and the cat caught it VERY early. sorry, that is just instantly what i thought of. maybe you can get a CAT scan? I cant help it - that made me laugh :]

TwistedNoodle said...

My cats behavior suddenly changed along those same lines when I was unknowingly pregnant. (was told my baby making days were over and lost track of my period) He would just not leave me alone, evah! I had no clue what was up until I was about 9 weeks along, when I found out I was preggers. And he didn't leave me be until I was no longer pregnant. Animals are amazing and have a keen sense when something is different.

Anonymous said...

Have you asked your cat what he's doing, or what he wants? If it's a true paranormal experience maybe some ghostly fiend is waiting to possess you and he's guarding you from it. Maybe your cat is guarding your ears from bugs crawling in them.
Maybe he's protecting you from bad dreams; get it? No sleep, no dreams.

Desha said...

She wants your SOUL, no doubt. Not really, but she may do well with a new cat toy or two.

MsCatCalls said...

I have four cats , one of them does this , she gets right up close and it drives me mad . But lately Ive been getting more in tune with her an dmaybe also with myself and Ive realised , Im not saying this is the same for you mind you , but in my case , Ive come to ses that the cat does it if I am upset or need to slow down or just take space or realise when I am in need not her , like not coping too well or whatever .So I try to listen to what she is telling me even though I hate her for it as well !!! In my case pushing her away doesnt work . Obviously this might be garbage and your cat might have a completely different meaning . Who knows .

MsCatCalls said...

ps did you do that drawing ? Its fabulous

Boomer said...

I thought I'd seen it all with cats, but I haven't a clue. I don't know what she might be getting from it.

As to why you rather than your husband: it might be the way he sleeps -- side sleepers are no fun for cats to sit on, too much balancing required -- or he may thrash around more in his sleep than you. Cats like to sit on people who don't move.

clergywife said...

I agree with Twisted Noodle. My dog (sorry, not a cat person) did the same thing when I was pregnant. The hormonal change must trigger a smell.

I've been lurking for a while, just decided to come out of the closet today.

Thunder Brainstorm said...

Creepy. I'd go get a check-up just in case, because animals do really have an amazing sense when something is different or wrong.

Also, I'd change facial creams if any. I'd wash that pillow. I'd change shampoos. Then I'd tell the cat to freck off.

Laura said...

Was she your cat before you married your husband? Mine always comes to bother me in bed and never my husband. It's like she's getting back at me for bringing someone else into our lives. I fear what she will do when our baby is born in September.

Anonymous said...

she could be bored if she is not getting enough attention or playtime during the day. Her bugging only you could mean that she thinks of you as hers, if you had her before you met your husband this could be why.

Anonymous said...

I wish I could help, but I have no clue. I did want to say what a great drawing of the cat tho... the expresssion and perspective is terrific.

stljoie said...

Well, they are nocturnal so maybe she wants attention.

Jeannie said...

My son's cat stands on my head when she wants to look out window. She does not bother my husband who has the same window behind his head. Que sera sera.

Wide Lawns said...

Yes I had her for a few years before I was married and it was just me and her, so that's probably why. She really likes him though. Also the window is on my side of the bed, which could be part of this head standing as I have blocked the sill with a bunch of junk. Also she might feel needy because we left her with a sitter for a week and then immediately moved back from our apartment to my parents' big house.

Crabby McSlacker said...

My cat likes to sleep on my head sometimes, and what does it say about my mental health that I let her?

Cats get into weird little "things" every now and then that usually make no sense, but they seem so serious and dignified about it we can't help but pay attention to it and read omininous signs.

Let's hope it's a new shampoo or something and not a health issue.

Jen & Rob said...

my first instinct was to say attention!!! My second best guess is tuna. That's nothing you want to start though....look Canella, when you stand on SW you get tuna!

Wide Lawns said...

Oh you know what. Maybe it's my peppermint foot cream. I just started using it last week. Maybe she is interested in the minty smell.

ausualsuspect said...

If you're putting the foot cream on your head, that's a whole 'nother problem unto itself.

Wylee said...

Put some catnip under the bed. That will distract her.

Anonymous said...

I think you've been sleepwalking out to the container garden area and chewing on catnip. Catnip breath will make a cat stand on your head every time.

I had to take earache kitty to the vet today. Minor out-patient surgery - $288. Ugh.

JG

Arlynnia said...

I had a cat that would sleep on my head. Other times he would mess with my head, and normally it wasn't much, mostly stress when we moved. I think that is probably the case. I don't suggest catnip under the bed unless you want to be mutilated by a drug crazed cat in the middle of the night. If I had done that, he would've run across my face full speed with claws out, and eyes bulging.

I do suggest getting both your cat and yourself checked out. Animals do have a keen sense of things, and if it isn't with you it's with her.

I would try to stroke her, and soothe her to lay down when she is doing that. My guess is that she would lay between you and him. Maybe gently nudge her away and down while petting her.

Good luck, and get some sleep. :)

Anonymous said...

Your cat obviously wants you to install another obstacle so she can't even reach your bedroom door.

We put in a "baby gate," then we put in a cat door. The solution was to slide the cover in the cat door.

It's either that or get up and feed her and pay attention to her as demanded.
-jbh-

sha said...

I think it's emotional upheaval. The sitter, the moving back to your moms and the added anxiety of Bomboclaat not being there. I bet she's trying to ask you in her cat way what you did with him. You did say they are good friends, right?

Anonymous said...

She misses Bombaclot and wants to know where he is!

Anonymous said...

I think your cat wants to socialize. My cat (sometimes)will creep really close to my pillow with his nose practically in my face - and stare - then fall asleep. Cats like to smell your breath; have some body part touching your body. Why not stand in your hair or touch your head? Oh, and stare at you too. My cat will move from one side of me to the other and "guard" me, though he's just waiting until I wake up or so at least it seems like it.

I think this behavior is perfectly normal, or at least it suits the cat's agenda!

L.

p.s. great illustration

Anonymous said...

I just went back and looked at the "evidence" the drawing. Hmmm... is it possible that Camilla is hunting a bug or spider?

Yikes.

I'd check behind that headboard and under the bed : )

L.

Anonymous said...

Shes cold and wants you to lift the covers and invite her into your tent. My cat does this all the time. Invite her in to snuggle.
ML

Anonymous said...

My own opinion, as a person that has been owned by cats all my life, is that she is hearing you breath differently in your sleep. Do you have a lot of stress? allergies? a cold? All make you sound different at night and these are things that a cat will pick up on. If you couple that with her own stress of being cat-sat, well, she's just looking out for you. Mine does the same thing.

How to fix it, in my opinion, is to reassure her when she does that, cuddle her, pet her, talk softly. I know it's the middle of the night, but getting angry at her will make it worse. Turn onto your back, ease the cat onto your chest and pet her. She'll calm and you'll sleep. Works for me.

~Maureen~

Green said...

Your SOULLLLLLLLL. She. wants. your. soul.

::cue evil laugh::

traca said...

I am going with the pregnant theory too. My cat was crazy during my last pregnancy.

Anonymous said...

You'll enjoy this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q&feature=related

I have 3 cats and my favorite boy knows when my husband is on the road working. He won't leave my side. He has to watch over me until my husband gets home.

Cats are intuitive!

Lou said...

My cat behaved strangely through all my pregnancies too.

Ms Calabaza said...

"The Office" finale is this week. Anxiety is killing her. I've been standing on my old man's head all week.

Abigail said...

my cat does this to me all the time.
after reading all of the options, the only one that honestly makes sense is that she's trying to steal your soul.

Chris (Dippy Chick) said...

This video might help. If it doesn't help, it will at least make you laugh your ass off. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0ffwDYo00Q

onthegomom said...

I just read your comment about the Peppermint Foot Cream - my cat LOVES peppermint, goes NUTS over it. So if she smells that maybe that is why she is standing guard over your head, she likes the smell?!?

Chris (Dippy) said...

You know... I just read your post from a couple of days ago. Maybe it's not Uncle ray who is eating the cat food on saltines. Hmmmm? :)

PS - I hope you like that video link I gave you. It is a perfect match to your drawing! It's almost creepy.

Anonymous said...

I am a cat lover and have owned many cats.
I had one cat who literally EVERYTIME I petted her she would bite me. And these were not love bites. They were mean bites.
Sometimes she would just come up and bite me for no reason. I have tried my whole life to teach cats with consideration.
Well one day she got up on the bed and bit me. So I put her down. She jumped back up. I gently, GENTLY, tossed her off the bed, something I never do, but I was tired of being a chew toy.
She came back, pissed. So I grabbed a cheap water gun we had, not a super soaker or anything, and sprayed her with water. I had to spray her in the fact twice before she would leave me alone.
The point of this story being, every night when I went to sleep, she would curl up on my chest and sleep. I would wake up in the middle of the night to find evil cat laying on my stomach glaring at my face.
Oh, and by the way, I was pregnant at the time. (noticing a trend here WLNM?)
Anyway, I ended up giving psycho kitty to a good friend who actually got her to quit biting and play nice with her kids.

Wide Lawns said...

OH MY GOD! The video. I am dying. That is my life. That is it exactly to a tee. That is the funniest thing I have seen in ages. Thank you so much!!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's the moving from mom and dad's house and back... and the dog leaving. Disoriented kitty just needs to see you and know you're not going away.

Anonymous said...

OMG...that video made be pee my pants. That's how cats are. They're wonderful but terribly sneaky. Dogs are far more up front with their bad behavior.

Chris (Dippy) said...

I knew you'd love that video!! It's hilarious. :)

Anonymous said...

I've heard stories where an animal sences that you have cancer and they repeatedly attack the place where the cancer is. so maybe you have cancer on your face.

highly unlikely though.

Anonymous said...

my cat was doing the exact same thing last month ... i would be sound asleep and wake up to her sitting on me, staring right at my eyes ... it was more than freaky. since she was acting so abnormal i decided to take her to the vet ... she was/is sick. i guess she was trying to tell me to get up and help her.

Missicat said...

My Bad Cat goes through stages where he sleeps in my head. Thank goodness it hasn't happened in a while. Might just be a phase, and you have to wait it out. It is a little weird though...:-)

Anonymous said...

Thank you, chris (dippy)... that's exactly the video I was trying to share! (I messed up the link somehow)

Anonymous said...

switch sides of the bed with your husband...maybe she'll stand on his melon instead. Or sleep with your feet on your pillow and your head down the other way....confuse her like she does to you. Maybe its a contest!

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say thanks for keeping me entertained at work. My cat prefers to lay on me and slowly reach a paw towards my windpipe and then pushes down on my windpipe. I too think she is trying to kill me.

E said...

Maybe you just need a nap and a new pair of shoes. I swear, that combo fixes just about everything. If that doesn't work, try a cupcake and a pedicure. And maybe more shoes... Just keep buying shoes 'til she stops :)

Cecile said...

Hi, I'm coming to you from inner voices. Perhaps your cat is warming it's feet? Either that or it is giving you a cat scan of your head and it want's to make sure the job is thorough.

luvpumpkns said...

i've been chewing peppermint gum lately, and my cat goes NUTS over it. tonight, she literally got right up in my face and tried to put her head in my mouth. try not using the foot cream and see what happens.

Beverly said...

that's frickin hilarious. my cat does almost the same thing but she doesn't stand on my head - she stands on my side (i sleep on my left side).

sometimes she will head butt me till i pet her. she's so odd.

Beverly said...

i got that cat video at work a couple of months ago from my mom. it said "OMG it's YOUR cat!!!"

when i sent it to Jake he said, "did you give them permission to use your cat as a model?" lol

auronsgirl said...

We have a cat who will "perch" on you and go to sleep. He's my husband's cat, and his favorite place to sleep is on my husband's shoulders. His next favorite place to sleep is on my left knee while I'm sitting on the couch - and he always, always, ALWAYS steps on the ligiment I injured in November of last year. It's like he's not happy unless he makes that damned thing twinge once.

T. said...

I asked my cat what this behavior means, and she chirped at me, as if to say, "I'm a cat and I live in the now. If I'm standing on your head, it means your head belongs to me now."

Also, if her window view is obstructed and she wants to be in your room when you're sleeping, she's probably observing the only "wild life" she can.

Anonymous said...

Mine assumes the same position whenever I'm about to get sick. As soon as I drop off to sleep he meows on my nose and gets distressed, then gives up and guards me all night. This is now my clue to get buttloads of vitamins in me!

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