Tuesday, April 29, 2008
7:45 PM | Posted by Wide Lawns | | Edit Post
I can stand the prunes. I can stand the flanken, the boiled chicken and ok well, not the fish, but this needs to stop now and no one in my family will listen to me. You are not supposed to boil eggs for three hours until they turn a dark and dismal shade of army helmet green. This is really not ok and everyone in my family, including my own parents boils the ever loving crap out of their eggs. Look, this poor egg has been cooked for so long that even its white has turned brown. I didn't even know that was possible. The egg looks like a science experiment. I remember in 8th grade Chemistry we cooked some sulphur to see it turn from yellow to greenish-gray. This was fascinating to a bunch of thirteen year olds who loved sulphur because of its seemingly unlimited potential for "who farted" jokes, but for some people who just want a decent meal, it's really not acceptable. Eggs aren't chemistry experiments. Eggs need to stay yellow people. Ok? All you have to do to boil a daggoned egg is to put it in water, bring it to a boil, turn it off and let it sit in the pan of hot water for about ten minutes. That's it. Please, if anyone that I am related to is reading this, I implore you desperately to follow my directions and don't make me eat or have to even look at another hard boiled egg that is so overcooked that not a single spot of yellow remains in the yolk. Please.
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