Thursday, April 10, 2008

Conservative is a Big Word

I guess I've been in a kind of graduate school fog for the past couple of months. Couple that with my parents' return and all the chaos that brought, and well, I realized I kind of neglected my duties to make fun of South Florida. Yesterday I heard a conversation between two young women who looked to be in their early twenties or so and they reminded me why I started this blog in the first place. I was in the fine city of Basura with its gigantic pink villas, small, pure-bred dogs wearing jeweled collars and women who have had so much plastic surgery that they are now cyborgs; Darth Vader women who are more manufactured substance than actual flesh. The two young women were having a conversation and I heard it.

Girl 1: You can totally put that on your MySpace.

Girl 2: I know, right. I'm so excited. Can you believe it?

Girl 1: So in St. Maarten you can seriously like walk around totally naked? For real?

Girl 2: Yes! That's why Sammi and I wanted to go. We're gonna take pictures.

Girl 1: I know! Wow. I want to go too. I'm going too. Ok, so you can, like, really walk around naked in St. Maarten?

Girl 2: YES! I told you. It's Europe. Europeans aren't conservative like Americans.

Girl 1: Ohhhh. St. Maarten's Europe?

Girl 2: DUUUUHHHH. Of course it's in Europe. God, it's not like England or something.

Girl 1: England's not Europe?

Girl 2: NOOOOO!! You need to like study geometry or something.

Girl 1: Yeah. So you can't walk around naked in England?

Girl 2: No. Only in Europe.

Girl 1: I'm so booking this trip. I can't wait to put the pictures of us naked on the beach on my MySpace. That is so cool.


nicrogers said...

That is like, so funny right? I totally want to go to Europe too! Then I will like,post my pictures on myspace too!

basteine said...

That reminds me of a story regarding a co-worker. I went with my father and some of his friends on their annual fishing trip a couple of times. For the last five or six years they have gone to the same camp in Quebec. When I described the trip to a co-worker he asked if Quebec was near Canada. I know I took world geography in college but I didn't think a course like that was needed to know what countries are in Europe and what provinces are in canada. WOW

Anonymous said...

it's very difficult to not be ashamed of 85% of earth's female inhabitants

ElissaSue said...

I have a share too: Coffee Shop Conversation at my UNIVERSITY.
Guy talking to barista: So yeah I totally know a ton of languages and its so crazy that its really easy for me to learn.
Barista: MMMhhhmmm (pretending to be interested)
Guy: Yeah like Asian. I know some Asian and it was a little tough at first, but I got the hang of it.

Thats right folks. Asian. All in one.

onthegomom said...

I'm like so banging my head on my keyboard right now.

jennifer said...

Poor girls dont even know about Haulover beach in their own town or area.

Beverly said...

It's not just the women that don't know "geometry" - the men don't know it either but they're just not vocal about it. After spending the last 3 and a half years working at a jr college - I've found that these kids now don't know ANYTHING about geography and a lot of them can't even name all of the states.

Wide Lawns said...

Ha Born Again, that's hilarious. He speaks ALL of the Chinese dialects, Laotian, Cambodian, Thai, Tagalog, Malaysian, Asian. That beats this conversation except that he wasn't putting naked pictures of himself on MySpace.

Curlatini, Esq. said...

I feel bad for these girls. I don't know that much about geometry either:(

RedheadwithAttitude said...

Hmm, if those chicas are right, I'll need to rethink this year's vacation. I'm torn between the Dalmation region of Croatia and Tuscany in Italy. Wherever I go, I'll definitely want to be wearing clothes.

Anonymous said...

Did you get her myspace address, so we can all go and leave comments?

Anonymous said...

I once worked with a woman in an accounting department in the United States who called our Accouts Payable office to ask what the exchange rate was with ALASKA.

Anonymous said...

I broke up with a pretty serious guy once because of a similar issue. He did not know that London was a town in England. He thought it was it's own country. I couldn't look at him the same after that.

MP said...

OMG this made my head hurt...for so very many reasons..
I have Geography and History 101 with one of my "employees"..she's mom to 3 and doesn't quite get the world..she said she wished she would have paid attention in HS..she admits it was all about parties and boys, now she is like a sponge...I'm proud she is interested at least..unlike these two, they just want to plaster their naked body on the internets :-)
(I have been learning SO much from the Travel Channel..Michael Papin's New Europe..he travels through "Eastern Europe"..awesome show.

Emily said...

When I was a kid, I went to St. Maarten and say the aforementioned naked persons. There I was on a beach, throwing sand at my brother and minding my own business, when a little boat putted over and discharged several very pale naked persons who wanted to enjoy this particular beach.

I kid you not, 90% of them were sporting one of the following:
• a horrible hat
• a camera
• a fanny pack

I wish those girls the most magical European vacation possible.

Anonymous said...

Please fortheloveofgod tell me this is a joke?? *headdesk*
Then again, I was born in New Mexico and some folks think I am not American as a result...


Anonymous said...

This is classic...and so very, very sad!! So embarrassed by ignorant Americans! Geez! Do we have our public school system to thank?

Ardent homeschooling proponent here.

Oh, please someone find the MySpace page, and we can send google maps of the Caribbean islands with "naked beach here" arrows.

Reb said...

What is unfortunate is that it is not restricted to the gigantic pink villas. Of course, we here in Canada still travel by dogsled and live in igloos, so what do I know?

Anonymous said...

Sad to say this is not a recent phenomenon!

My husband and I lived in Guadalajara Mexico in the 70's and it comes up in conversation every now and again.

Etched in my mind is this interaction from the early 80's.

35 ish woman: OH! So and so told me you used to live in Mexico!

Me: Yes...We lived in Guadalajara for nearly 4 years in the early 70's.

Woman: Is that near Albuquerque? We went there when my husband was in the service.

Me: Not really close. Albuquerque is in NEW Mexico. Guadalajara is in OLD Mexico...another country!

On another note, it was fun to watch an old geezer snorlking just off shore in St Martin, on the french side. Them's some interesting fish in that water!

revintraining said...

Blatant stupidity makes my head hurt.

Anonymous said...

It just depresses the hell out of me when I hear/read stuff like this..and makes my desire to move somewhere else even stronger. Maybe I'll visit the part of Europe in the Carribean, where I can go around giving free nekkid "geometry" lessons. And offering to take pictures of peopl for their MySpace pages.

Anonymous said...


FYI London is a CITY in England - not a town ;-)

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