Thursday, March 20, 2008


Readers, this is big breaking news. TOMATO MAN IS BACK!!!!

Husband was out running errands with my dad and they found him and bought two bags of tomatoes which I can't wait to eat.

Tomato Man explained to them that the town keeps running him off and the police and the alleged Mafia, (which does not exist at all because this story is fictional ok and I don't exist either because I too am fictional for the record and this blog is generated randomly by a computer in China), keep trying to shake him down. But no one can keep the Tomato Man down. He just keeps coming back and he will keep selling tomatoes on A1A until he drops dead (or gets a slug through the head from the fictional Mafia which does not exist).

The good news is that I got his phone number so whenever I want tomatoes I can call him and he'll arrange a meeting with me and we'll act like we're doing something else and he'll secretly slip me a bag of tomatoes when no one's looking and I'll act like I'm shaking his hand when in reality I'll have cash in my hand to pay him. Watch, then I'll get stopped by the cops and they'll think I have drugs and I'll be all like "I don't have drugs. Tomatoes? I had these. I just like carrying tomatoes around. Yessirree. I just carry bags of tomatoes wherever I go."

I'm so glad he's ok.


Robin in Ohio said...

Yay! I'm glad to hear the Tomato Man is back peddling his wares. Enjoy the tomatoes! Yummy!

Chiada said...

Let's just hope the cops don't make you bust open the tomatoes.. just in case you shot them up with drugs. ;) What a waste of 'maters that would be! Hey, is your name Mater, too?

Anonymous said...

Tomato man is a renegade Styx style...

breny said...

WHOO HOO!!! I got my first home grown tomatoes this week and I thought about you and tomato man. It's going to be a good spring and summer!

MP said...

Wooo Hooo
I nice red ripe tomatoe out of a brown paper bag..gently rinced, slicked w/ a little salt sounds wonderful!!!

JoeInVegas said...

It does sound like he has you hooked.

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