Friday, December 14, 2007

I Want to Light My Whole Head On Fire With This


This blonde is not me and looks nothing like me, however she is the perfect illustration of what I would have killed for when I was eight (see below). Somehow seeing this as an adult, I'm having trouble understanding what caused me such a thrill as a child. For one, it looks incredibly heavy and dangerous. I can't even begin to think about gobs of hot wax dropping onto my scalp. Man, I thought getting a wad of pink bazooka stuck in my pony tail was a pain to get out (peanut butter works great for getting gum out of hair by the way) so hardened candle wax must be damned near impossible. I'd love to see the stats from Stockholm emergency rooms on December 13th on how many girls got third degree burns on their heads from this. At the very least, December 14th must be a big day for Swedish hair dressers because I think the only solution to getting the wax out of one's hair would be cutting it out. I bet towards late December, many the Swedish maiden ends up with a pixie cut. Before I forget picture courtesy of some Catholic web site. I don't want a raging priest coming after me yelling "You stole that picture of that swedish girl with a wreath on her head from our web site and now you're going to hell Wide Lawns girl!!!"

13 comments:

? said...

St Lucia's Day! I totally always wanted to do this too, becuase of those stupid "American Girl" books and the Scadenavian one. They totally even had an outfit for the doll that was for this holiday.

http://store.americangirl.com/agshop/html/MultiProductPage.jsf/itemId/683/itemType/DISPLAYGROUP/webTemplateId/4/uniqueId/27/saleGroupId/149

I think I was secretly jealous of those looped braids though.

Anonymous said...

When I was in 6th grade, they chose me to play the part of this gal in the school's Chrismas program, probably because I had blue eyes and knee-length blond hair. However, they didn't want to take any chances with burning the building down, so my headpiece was made entirely of construction paper. Dammit.

lspoon said...

But she looks so pretty :)

blondie said...

St. Lucias is correct - my family uses the modern version with batteries. Much less attractive, but far safer.

FirstNations said...

i understand completely. all holidays should be celebrated with flaming headwear of some kind.
anything in flames, actually. abandoned cars, dumpster full of cardboard, medical waste, whatever you got. fire that sapsucker off. then stand around and chunk big rocks into it, and boxes of stale ammo and fireworks. now THATS christmas in oregon, baby.

Cindal said...

It would depend on what type of wax the candles were made of, whether or not you'd have to do some emergency hair-cutting a la gum-in-the-hair. If they were beeswax, yes, that shit don't come off, but paraffin wax peels right off most surfaces.

There, at the expense of the first layers of skin of my brother and I when we would play with the [painfully hot] melted candle wax at Christmas before our mother could catch us, you learned something today!

Rising Rainbow said...

Yes, I think the American Girl books did a bunch to romanticize St Lucia's day.

But it wouldn't be my thing, I'm such a klutz I'd fall down and my hair would all burn off, it would be really ugly.

Charlottex said...

I have actualy worn one of these. Albeit, unlit. In first grade I somehow got stuck with the St. Lucia's Day part of our Christmas program, which translates to my mom getting stuck making the things. She made an exact replica of the American Girl version. They were amazing! No one in my class believed that she had actually made them. Those things are hella itchy though...

Dave said...

Reminds me of sissy spacek in "carrie".

Anonymous said...

Ok...been there done that with the wax in the hair. Let's just say that kids and midnight Easter services don't go well together especially if you give the kids candles to hold. Anyway, my mom got the wax out of my hair by letting it dry, then placing the waxy hair between a folded dish towel and using a very hot clothes iron with no steam to melt the wax. The towel soaked up the wax and I was ready to go eat my Easter basket empty. Just a note though, the wax was in the lower part of my hair, not near the scalp so that might be a bit trickier. A good clarifying shampoo might help. So feel free to put fire on top of your head if you are so inclined and rest assured that your hair can be saved! :)

Eric said...

The St Lucia Bride is just a single step in the long climb to the Swedish Swimsuit team. Which of course culminates in the lucritive beer Spokes model contract.

chris said...

Please go buy or rent " the ref" it's a movie from 1994 with Dennis Leary and Kevin Spacey...I swear you will love the Christmas dinner scene. Also , "Home for the holidays" with Holly Hunter, My two favorite Holiday movies....we put the fun in dysfunctional families...lol

karindira said...

I thought this was a Minnesota thing. I mean, I know it's all the Scandisweidhooverans in Minnesota, but I didn't know a girl in Florida would want to set her hair on fire and bring her parents sweetrolls in bed.

Culture is an amazing thing.

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