Monday, December 03, 2007

The Day of No Consequences

In my wildest fantasies there exists a day of no consequences - one day where I can do and say whatever I wish. This is the greatest day of my life.

In the day of no consequences I have croissants and hot chocolate for breakfast, macaroni and cheese for lunch, and lobster with truffle fries for dinner followed by chocolate mousse and raspberries for dessert with extra whipped cream. I lose six pounds and have never looked better.

I do not go in to work and no one notices. Instead I go shopping and spend $5,000 on a credit card that I don't have to pay. Every pair of pants fits and is the right length.

I announce to my teachers that since I already have an A in their classes that I do not have to write the final, 20 page research paper and they agree whole heartedly.

While in traffic I ram my car into the car in front of me, which is probably really expensive and being driven by a 60 year old woman with fake boobs and diamond encrusted sunglasses who will not stop yelling at some service person on her cell phone and doesn't realize that the light turned green three minutes ago in spite of the loud honking of every car around her.

I tell off several people.

Getting to tell people off is really the best part. How many times a week, or even a day, do you just wish you could say what was really on your mind, right to someone's face? Sometimes the pressure from all the things I want to say builds up inside me to the point where it causes me physical pain and then I say them anyway. There are always negative ramifications. People don't like me. I become ostracized. I get passed up for jobs or lose them altogether.

Unfortunately terrible things can happen when you don't self edit on a regular basis. You can ruin your career, harm yourself, lose out on opportunities and destroy relationships because you hurt people's feelings. Sometimes it doesn't matter, but most of the time it does, so you learn to shut your mouth most of the time. At least I do.

But the things I want to say to people are still there and on the Day of No Consequences I can unleash them all and since this is my fantasy I'd also like to add that people actually listen to what I have to say and consider at least the small possibility of my being right, even if I actually am or not.

I know that I'm not alone in this. Take the huge success of Post Secret as a prime example that there are thousands of people who harbor all sorts of terrible, both tragic and funny, things they want to say but can't.

Right now I'm in the middle of Finals Week. I hate this week and turn into a neurotic maniac and I suddenly find myself thinking more often and in greater detail about the Day of No Consequences.

In order to blow off a little steam and to further avoid starting that research paper that's due Wednesday I'm going to write down the things I'd like to say to about a million different people. I fully acknowledge that this is a pussy thing to do, but I said I want no consequences and this is the best way to avoid consequences. Pussies avoid consequences. What can I say?

Here are all the things I wish I could say. None of them are addressed to you even if you think they are. Yes, you. Some of them, most of them, could apply to multiple people and some of them might not even apply to anyone but I'd just like to say them for fun.

I liked you better when you were fat.

I hate to watch you hurting yourself like this all the time and all your health problems are caused by your horrible diet.

I wish I could send your name in to What Not To Wear because you really shouldn't be wearing that and it's totally obvious that you are not a size 4 even though your size 12 ass manages to somehow squeeze into the size 4 pants. Oh, there just went a button flying off from the pressure.

All that nice shit I said about you was because I wanted you to do me a favor and when you didn't and blew me off I took it all back. I actually think you're an idiot.

I am jealous of your perfect life.

I think you married the wrong people and I wish you'd both get divorced and marry each other instead.

You aren't fooling anyone. We all know you're an alcoholic who gets drunk and takes pills and has sex with strange men. And it sickens me that you would waste your talent that way.

You think you're trying to be all avant garde but the truth is that you are lazy and have no talent.

The reason men don't like you isn't because of how you look. It's because you are a stark raving psycho.

Your behind is square.

And so is mine.

Stop the denial. Your kid's going to be in the "special" class at school. Get him help while it's still early enough.

They're not actually all four inches. I said that so you wouldn't have a complex.

Stick to essay writing instead.

You could have done better.

You are easily one of the worst parents I have ever seen in my life and your kid is freakin' nuts not because of some hereditary disorder business, but because you let her walk all over you. When parents are wusses and self absorbed head cases who let their kids run the show, the kids become insecure and crazy too.

Can you tell me how in the Sam Hell you manage to get 1961 comments on a blog that is essentially an advertisement and pictures of your kids? Clearly I'm doing something wrong.

You need to clean your damned house. You couldn't pay me to eat in there. I don't know how you haven't contracted Ebola living in that squalor.

You actually aren't as hot as you think you are. You're more average. On a good day.

I think Mitt Romney is really handsome. I wouldn't vote for him, but he's cute.

Mitt Romney is not as hot as Chief Justice Roberts. Obviously I like the conservative look or something.

I admire the will you devote to your eating disorder.

Please just admit you're with him for the money. For the love of God, it's so obvious.

I miss you and I wish I wasn't an idiot when I was 24. I thought about sending you a Christmas card, but it would be too complicated. Sometimes I hope you've stumbled across this and that you read it in secret, but I know you don't.

I hated nablopomo. OK, so there are no consequences and this is no big secret, but I felt like saying it anyway. It made me feel boring and ordinary.

Ok, I think I can go write that paper now.

Readers, it's your turn now. Use my comments section to get whatever you want off your chest where no one you know will see it and hate you.

112 comments:

Anonymous said...

Giving your daughter that name has doomed her to a life of under-achievement.

Jo Meder said...

Ok, pet pieve from my own and recent experience: I really hate it, when trade union representatives try to force you to accept lower quotes on already low offers as a freelancer while simultaneously clamouring for appropriate wages. Bleargh.


--
And if you're into photography, perhaps you'd like to visit http://www.nullputter.de/

Just in case and just some pictures out of private interest, no business attached.

http://kitkat.typepad.com said...

I hate people who don't use spell check.

I like pictures of people's kids :)

I wish that fat girl at my work would lose some weight so I don't have to hear her fat girl breathing from two desks away.

Actually, I wish the fat girl at my work would just get fired already, lazy fat fuck.

I wish as many people read my blog as yours.

Fianna said...

Right now, I could really use you as a friend and not the self-absorbed drunk you have turned into.

Manda said...

Why, why can't you just be kind, loving and supportive to your adult son instead of a narcissistic, controlling, and manipulative hag? Why can't you just keep your mouth shut?

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I've wanted to say that for so long, sorry if my spelling is off.

Subservient No More said...

KitKat I don't use spell check because it always thinks stuff is spelled wrong that isn't and it makes mistakes and I am lazy. On a more positive note, I like your homemade banner with the pink star. I like pictures of people's cats and kids,well, I don't know. Sometimes pictures of kids on blogs make me uncomfortable in a way I can't explain. Other times I think they're cute, but I was referring to a massive blog that seriously has NOTHING but the same pictures of this woman's kids along with some advertisements every single solitary day and I don't get what about her is so appealing to a gazillion people. I actually would like an elaborate explication to help me out with this one.

Anyone?

Anonymous said...

You are fat because you are lazy and eat too much. Stop crying and start exercising.

Your smug self-absorption is unbecoming.

Grow up! Not everything is about you!

Also, you want to wear fabric that skims OVER the rolls, not clings to them for dear life.

People interrupt you because it's the only way they can get a word in.

Yes, I am judging you.

If you wear one of those dorky blue tooth headpieces to talk on the cell phone while shopping at Wal Mart, you are a LOSER. Seriously. I want to rip it off of your ear and smash it to bits.

The more you talk about your dead husband, the more I want to avoid you. I'm sorry! It's been seven years.

Your kid is a BRAT! Wake up!

Your daughter is a slut and has been having sex with boys regularly for at least the last year. You just don't want to see it.

I resent that my taxes, in part, go to paying for food stamps for someone that has three-inch-long rhinestone-encrusted fingernails. Get a job!

Mrs. Qball said...

Somedays, alright, most days, I wish I could go back to being a child. Not my childhood, but a childhood with the knowledge that I have now. I would be the good girl in school and learn everything I could. I would go through college completely, and then get married and have children.

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't the mom to my son. Mostdays, I love my children

Most days, I hate being the grownup in the house.

One day, my children will appreciate me and wish they could be children again.

Anonymous said...

I hate that the roads always get plowed first so I have to walk my kids over snowbanks.

She was a crazy witch and I'm glad we're not friends anymore!

My kids make me so mad only the thought of how loud they would cry if I hit them keeps me from hitting them.

Yes I did cheat when I was there...but it was only to prove to myself that it was you I wanted.

nicrogers said...

I hate people with handicap tags who you see jump out of their cars. They obviously are not handicapped.

I hate people who think that everything wrong in their lives is due to someone doing something to them. Grow up and get off of your lazy ass and start doing for yourself. If you spent half the time actually working towards something as you do complaining, you may actually get somewhere.

Anonymous said...

I hate that I'm your favorite person, it's too much for one person to deal with.

Sometimes I get it that people don't like you and I don't like you much either.

I hate that loving me isn't enought for you to be with me and that you would rather spend your life having meaningless relationships rather than get hurt again.

I don't care if you're bored, stop sending me text messages to tell me so!

bananafofana said...

You're not fat because of your metabolism, it's because of the soft drinks. Eight glasses of sweet tea with dinner? Really?!?!
That's at least 1,000 calories right there!Switch to diet before you kill yourself.

Also, those orgasam noises you make while you eat make me want to puke on my entree. It's food, not sex.

Scarlett is a good name for a dog, not a child.

You have THE ugliest baby I have ever seen. Damn.

Please don't send me any more plates of your nasty, over-salted, under-seasoned, over-cooked, dried out food. I am a much better cook than you. I keep your tupperware in the hopes that you will run out of containers and will be unable to send more.

I hope you choke on that bible.

Mom, please stop slouching, it makes your belly stick out.

Your house smells like your dog.

No one is going to make you king of the world, there are no "constant companions", and no one is controlling you. You have schizophrenia. I love you anyway.

ok, i'm done now.
thanks

http://kitkat.typepad.com said...

Oh I wasn't referring to you with the spell check. It's more people at my work...if you're supposed to be a professional, shouldn't you sound like one?

And thanks for the compliments on the banner.

Anonymous said...

I am at the lowest achieving point of my life so far, and I am the happiest I've ever been.

Anonymous said...

i wish i'd known then what i know now; i would have slept with you and never regretted it. i wish i'd never married my husband; i wish i'd told you i love you. i wish i'd run away from the air force to be with you. i wish i'd hitchhiked to texas to be with you. i would have worked fast food, anything, to get through college to be with you. i say this with the knowledge that the children i have now wouldn't ever have existed had this been able to happen. i would have chosen you. and most of all, i regret that last phone call we had in 1990. i wish i'd never turned my back on you. i can't even begin to tell you what i'd do to find you now. if you ever read this, just know that i've loved you since i was 12 years old, and that will never change. every time i was married to someone else, i wished it were you. every child i raised, i wished it had been yours. every time one of the spouses i had cheated on me, hit me, or yelled at me, i knew you would never have done such a thing to me. you loved me too... i wish i'd never let you go.

I AM SO BEING ANONYMOUS TODAY :o) said...

SNM,

Good luck with your paper, Procrasitnators of America, Unite!
Thanks for this, I needed it. I have some evil thoughts right on the tip of my tongue.

All you people who look at me cruelly, and say cruel things to me about being fat can go fuck yourselves. Do you have a mirror at your house? Have you seen your nose, or your teeth, or your face? Do you know how repulsive YOU are to ME? By the way, I get more exercise than you, eat less than you, and am healthier, smarter, prettier, and nicer than you. I got this fat from stress. I would not wish what stressed me so much on anyone, even you. But you can go fuck yourself any time.

You stupid overage skank moron, I do not care about your personal problems, or your family, or anything else having to do with you. You are the most fascinatingly gloriously self centered person I have ever met in my life. A person of your advanced years really ought to have a frimer grasp of reality. When I signed the employment contract with the company we both worked for, I had no idea how much shit I would have to put up with from you. Thank you stupid cunt for giving me the motivation to get my shit together and get out of a job I hated largely thanks to you.

You are my friend, I love and cherish you like a sibling, and you me. However, it really fries my ass that not only do you throw yourself a fucking birthday party EVERY year, but you do not so much as send me a card, or call me to wish me a happy birthday on mine. And you, me, my shrink, and the three people who read my blog are the only ones in the world who know how I feel about my birthday.

Your pathetic stories about your drunken binges are not funny. They might be if you were 15 instead of 54, but getting so drunk you jump out of a moving car on the highway, and roll down an embankment, then insult the gender and race or the people working at and patronizing the gas station you roll into, and finally some fucking "N$$$$$ S%%% or Whatever, Camel Driver looking mother fucker" let you call your wife, at 3 AM, to threaten her to come to get you, or you will divorce her. (obviously she is even more crazy than you to not jump at the chance.) It is too bad you are so stupid to realize what a pathetic loser you are. I was laughing AT you when you told this story, and all the others.

I will never forgive you for the life you made for your children. You destroyed any chance they had. You are so lucky that you were such a drunken whore that one of them is a special needs person, so you can sponge off of the social security forever.

I am so grateful that I have realized that I am not responsible. Finally. Your sense of entitlement, and your utterly clueless belief that I should and will bail you out of all your problems now amuses me. I would never dream of being such an imposition, and being so irresponsible. And, if I did need help you are the second to last person I would come to for help.

I would like to have carnal knowledge of you that violates the laws of most states, as well as several laws of physics.

It never ceases to amaze me the men that are philandering pigs. How the hell do they get women to pay attention to them, never mind fuck them?

Speaking of which, friend, yeah, you, the one with the husband who can't keep his dick to himself. When you marry for money you earn every penny.

Dear ex-boyfriend. You do NOT eat pussy well.

I am sure you are going to go to hell a lot faster and more certainly for the fact that you use your religion as an excuse to ostracize, abuse, and terrorize "sinners" than the alleged sinners.

Anonymous said...

Wow, there's some serious stuff on here. I hate SUV's and the people who drive them while talking on their cell phones. They're inconsiderate pricks and bitches. Gas hogs they are, they're destroying the environment (and I'm a conservative), and they use way more gas than any other vehicles.

jessica said...

I never eat when I'm alone; I really hate making something amazing and then eating it all myself. Honestly, I love it when I've made something delicious and listen to a friend sit quietly and chew. I love the look of contentment on their faces; I love when they finish the meal and just lean back and close their eyes in complete bliss. I live for that delight in the countenances of others, and knowing I am the cause of it. I don’t set out to make others happy most of the time, but in this one thing—the breaking of bread, xenia, whatever nomenclature one prefers—I make a significant effort to excel. The most basic pleasures in life are what really matter. Excess never made anyone truly happy.


What is wrong with you? Can't you see me waiting for you?

Anonymous said...

When your are trying to manoeuvre your giant car onto the road, please refrain from stopping and covering the entire sidewalk, or one of these days I am going to walk over your goddamn hood.

Being a morning person does not make your morally superior to me, nor does it mean you do more work -- I just work at a different time of the day to you.

It was bloody rude to leave without saying goodbye.

You either need to get over her or see a professional. If you keep whining about her you are going to lose all your friends as well.

You need to apologise to your brother, and to me, you rude bitch. I resent paying for your dinner at our wedding because you haven't apologised.

Being a cyclist gives you no right to dictate everything that happens on either the road or the footpath; if you want other road/footpath user to respect you, you need to follow the rules too.

You're a guest in this country, even though you live here. If everything is so much better back home, you're welcome to leave -- but you're nuts, because i am from there too, and it isn't better.

You need to get the fuck over me already. I don't care what kind of witch you have painted me as, it isn't true, and if you never let our relationship go, you will end up lonely (yes, even your current rude girlfriend will get sick of your bullshit eventually, and many of your friends already have).

Saying all that felt really good.

Zoe said...

Here are mine:

I wish more people read my blog(s) and commented more.

I wish I didn't have to have this blog.

Mom, I am trying to stop loving you because loving you makes me lose respect for myself.

My biggest nightmare is that I'll grow up to be a grouchy old woman that people see and think "she should just stay home and play with her cats and not subject the outside world to her misery" and I think I'm headed in that direction.

You need to clean more.

In January I will be paying for rent and Cobra the same amount of money I'm earning now.

kim said...

I hate being fat ... but worse than that ... I hate being judged BECAUSE I'm fat! Do we bother you so much because we just exist or what? I probably DO more than you do in one day and eat LESS than you do!

mean people suck! why do you think its alright to say what ever you want just because its true? does that give you the right to belittle, shame and humiliate someone? Does it make you feel better about your own miserable life?

Take your self righteous religious crap and shove it up your ass! you aren't any better than anyone else! working with you has been the hardest part of starting this new job because you've been nothing but a fucking information hoarding, back stabbing bitch!

I hate you for making me believe in you and for making me love you enough to give up everything for you. You were the love of my life and you didnt believe in yourself enough to try. I hate that I will always love you and it doesnt make it any different

Anonymous said...

You, with the SUV - you are not impressing anyone. In fact, you are broadcasting to the world that you have HUGE insecurities and a very small penis. Get off your cell phone and learn to drive in a regular car, and stop destroying my planet for your VAST insecurities. Get some therapy instead.

No one in this community likes you - in fact, we'd all be happier if you just moved. The rest of us are so happy when you leave to go on holiday, because it means peace and quiet and not having to listen to your self-righteous bullshit. Get a clue and start looking for a new place to live. And learn the definition of "boundaries".

Your kids are experimenting sexually with each other. This is NOT okay - they are brother and sister. Just because she has down's syndrome does not make it okay for her to take advantage of her younger brother. Get your son some help, he needs it. Badly. Pretending it is not happening only makes you negligent as a parent - it does not mean that it isn't happening. You don't even know that I know, but it has made me lose my respect for you and is tearing me up inside to know about it.

You're right - I absolutely judge you for eating all of that processed crap and then talking about how healthy you are. You're deluding yourself. Just because your husband is a retired doctor doesn't make him an expert on nutrition. I know you judge me because I am fat, but I eat healthier and way better than you ever have. And I know volumes more about what constitutes good nutrition. I'm fat because I don't exercise, not because I eat poorly.

I don't like talking to my grandmother because all she does is gossip about my other family members and try to play the victim. Grandma, you are not a victim, you only play one on TV. You make your own life and your own choices. Maybe your sons' wives don't talk to you because you're too needy and overbearing and too much of a busybody. Maybe it's not because they are both horrible people. Perhaps if you backed off and gave them space to live their own lives and make their own choices, they'd let you in. I still love you, I just cannot stand to hear about every single thing they've ever done to wrong you EVERY time we talk. I'm glad I didn't get to see you when we were in town, because it meant I didn't have to listen to your drama.

I never ever want to hear about what you're doing in Second Life. I effing HATE that bullshit. When you can manage to return a goddamned email to your friends IN REAL LIFE, give me a call. Why don't you try facing your issues instead of escaping into SL to run away from them? You disappoint me, I never thought it would be you.

Anonymous said...

Okay...since anything goes, here's my main gripe that will no doubt shock the readers. STROLLERS!! I hate them. I find that most mothers push their germ infested offspring around in those contaminated contraptions without regard for the public at large. The brats touch everything with their nasty hands, run over my feet and back into my heels, and generally behave like wild animals. Rarely do they apologize for running over your toes. They take up the whole sidewalk with an attitude that the world owes them the space for filling it with their bratty children, crying and coughing all the way to the destination. I'll take smokers any day over these wretched beasts.

Anonymous said...

I want very, very badly to stop working officially and have a baby, maybe two babies. The fact that you are a lazy, self centered person who would force me to be a married single parent and common sense (which made me force you to get a vasectomy) has kept me from this. That and the fact that I would always be dissapointed in the children that you would make, because they wouldn't be his.

I should never have got on that bus. I should have made you stay. I still love you.

You are an ignorant slut. You are going to get caught.

I smoke pot to get to sleep. A lot. I dont like it but I can't sleep.

If I had slept with you first, we would'nt be married.

I hate going to church.

I think about how to kill myself, but I won't do it, as far as I know.

I signed up to donate my eggs.... For the money.

Anonymous said...

My dear husband. It was YOU who wanted to drive a truck. I don't care if you're bored, please don't pick up the lot lizards. Please don't go trolling for women on craigslist. Get a Pogo membership, for gods sake. If I EVER catch you trying to cheat on me ever ever again, your ass is history.

lisë said...

You are a complete and utter arrogant fucker, & you know what? It looks damn good on you.

I have had a crush on you since I was ten years old, & it would be nice if you existed outside of the book I read you in, because you're the only guy who's ever been there for me when I needed you.

I liked you better when you were naive & a foolish child & when your heart was still intact for the first time.

Once I considered telling you to cut your hair in hopes that it would help me fall out of love with you.

I would love to hand you the chances I received because of the name I inherited.

Because you wouldn't let me have you, I decided the next best thing would be to become you. Thank you for giving me permission to throw away two years of my life. I now know how utterly worthless you were, because I did become you, & it sucked.

Secretly, New York will be better than you & that is why I'm moving there in six months. You aren't invited.

I won't ever forgive you because you never asked me to.

You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, inside & out, and I love you & will never, ever tell you that.

I don't like nice guys. You are too nice. Everyone else thinks I'm the luckiest girl on earth to be dating you. I don't get it.

I think you're an annoying bitch. He'll never fall in love with you because you are a roly-poly midget & he is only having sex with you because he is a nympomaniac. So quit whining to me, asking how to make him fall for you! You want to know how? Quit being ugly, and eight years younger, and a whiny twit!

You & the rest of the world like to tell me your problems because I am a polite person & I am also very good at pretending like I give a shit. Shut up & decide to be happy with your life. In six months, mine will be a fairy tale & yours will still suck, & it makes me smile into my coffee.

I don't respect you because you made your money instead of inheriting it.

You believe in science, so I stopped believing in you.

You only have a boyfriend because of your boobs. They're like sacks of oatmeal. You also have a muffin top. What's with the bakery theme, Betty Cock-er?

I don't respect you because you are beautiful outside and completely fucking hideous inside. Dame world, darling. You are a walking lie.

You look better with TWO eyebrows! Not ONE! Please & thank you!

I hate when you use ampersands instead of typing out "and," but I do it too, & probably because of you.



PS: I have my last final exam paper due in three hours, & I am procrastinating finishing it by commenting! Go, me!

Anonymous said...

For God's sake, just because there are 7 days in the week doesn't mean we have to work all of them.

It's retarded to let so many people have access to the server room.

When something breaks, and will cause problems if it's powered on, remove it from the rack, don't leave it there for someone else to power on.

(can you tell I'm at work?)

Anonymous said...

You're not big-boned, you're fat.

No, I don't think of you as fat because I'm anorexic and thus have a skewed view of the ideal body. I happen to have an eating disorder. That has nothing to do with the fact that you look like a shipping hazard. Watch out, Titanic.


(Thank you, SNM. I swear I'm not this mean out loud. And she really is fat. Not, say, size 12-14-16-18-whatever.)

Anonymous said...

Firslt; I think about my ex-girlfriend everyday and I've not seen her or spoken to her in 10 years. I'm still in love with her but I left her because I knew it would never work.

Secondly; I hate the way I can't keep my feelings to myself. I just don't have the ability to self censor and I loose friends and colleagues respect because of it.

Thirdly; when I am depressed I think of suicide but I can't because my wife and child need me.

Forth; I hate the way I never seem to be happy - I always want something more, something I can't or shouldn't have. I just really want to be happy with life but at the age of 36 I fear that it will never happen.

There - that's a load off my chest. I must go back to keeping those particular secrects hidden away.

Kerri said...

Friend that only sends me e-mails to brag about stuff. Stop. Occasionally I would just like a real e-mail, you know one that actually is sent to me and not 40 others, maybe even one that asks me how I'm doing..That would be nice. Bitch.

Friend, your children are assholes. All three of them need...actually I have no idea. It might be too late. By never being consistent and worrying more about friendships and how clean your house is you have let those three monsters do whatever the hell they wanted to and you have no one to blame but yourself for the shit they are putting you through now. I honestly don't want to hear about how bad they are acting. Start being their mother. For some reason you thought your job was over the second the last one was potty trained.

Fuck you Doc for not taking my concerns about my son's condition seriously. 6 months of hell to get one lousy blood test. You suck more than you will ever know.

All that talk about God on your MySace page is bullshit. He may have forgiven you but I can't.

You could have been amazing if you had only cared about yourself and the people that loved you. I know it's too late now.

Kara said...

The real reason I never want to come over to your house anymore is not because I am so busy - even though I actually am really busy - but because I hate your husband. I think that he is an immature jerk, and I hate the way the two of you behave when you are around each other. I feel embarrassed to be with the two of you.

Damn. I have wanted to get that one off my chest for a while....

Nicole said...

Good news! Your day of No Consequences meal....it's only going to run you about 1600 calories. So have at it!

Anonymous said...

It wasn't and its still not fair that you dump your marriage problems on me. I was a child for christs sake! That is probably the root of all my problems!

I wish you never cheated on me because I'm still not over it and

I'm getting married and I still can't trust him because of you.

You are not as great as a boss as you think you are. I think you are secretly a pervert and I wish you wouldn't stand so close to me. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

I don't fit in with my fiance's rich family. Isn't that every girl's dream? To marry rich? I love him but they make me feel so white trash and I'm afraid they know it.

I feel like my whole life is a sham and I'm so scared that someday someone will pull the curtain back and see who i really am...

Thank you SNM... that feels really good... :o)

Anonymous said...

I hate that in the Army if you are stupid and prove repeatedly that you are a poor leader you will get moved up. And you will be given the chance to make other soldiers crazy, and probably get them killed if we ever get deployed.
I hate that as a 30 year old woman I literally have to cry and throw a fit in order to get good health care in the military health care system. I hate that you have to fight to be taken care of, instead of knowing that people will do their job and take care of you. (medically speaking)
I hate that NCO schools are a waste of time and the only thing I learned is that if you have no integrity and set your soldiers up for failure you will be considered a great leader just because you can run 2 miles in 12 minutes.

Anonymous said...

I refuse to justify my weight. It's MY weight and I came by it honestly. I refuse to damage my health further by starving. And for what it's worth, I've been taking self-defense classes and I can kick your ass now. So there. Yes I'm big, but I'm also mobile and angry. Don't piss me off.

I wish that other people would just once think of someone besides themselves. Put the trash IN the trash can. Flush the toilet when you're done. Clean up your mess. Wipe up the sink after you've flooded it with water. Wash your own dishes. Sheesh folks, where were you raised, in a barn?

Anonymous said...

I really wish you didn't feel like you have to 1-up EVERYTHING I tell you. Your family is NOT always crazier than mine.

Anonymous said...

Get up off your ass and start working, I understand that it is difficult and scary doing this stuff sober but I need you to take care of me for a while.I will be here for you, take that first step.

If you would do things around this company that I suggest it really would run better. You need to fire the lazy asses that don't care. There cannot be customer retention if you don't care about what you are doing.

I wish I would go back and get a degree, I'm afraid I'd fail..again.

You need to quit spoiling your kid or it's going to come back to bite you in the ass. I should know, I'm spoiled myself.

Anonymous said...

I know that when you ask me how I lost weight that instead of eating a healthier, more sensible diet and dedicating at least half an hour each day to some form of exercise, you hope to hear that I spent $2 a month on miracle pills. I know you want to hear that you can continue eating a pint of ice cream every day and guilting your son into doing any manual labor around your house so that you can watch Maury Povich over a cherry crumble without going further into debt buying bigger clothes. I see the intense disappointment in your eyes when I tell you that you can’t be lazy and self-indulgent every second of the day and still be healthy. And I love it.

Don’t give me a dirty look, you jerk. If you’d hang up and drive, you might have noticed that YOU cut ME off, not the other way around.

No, we aren’t legally married. No, I am not worried about God’s blessing. We try to be good, moral people. We are in a healthy, loving relationship. Call me crazy, but I don’t think God will have a problem with that just because we haven’t paid a minister to listen to us say it. Maybe YOU should be worrying about God’s blessing since you seem so determined to turn genuine love and commitment into something dirty.

I haven’t met your husband, but I am convinced that he is a total loser. No man with any self-respect would put up with a mean, bossy, self-centered BITCH like you. Seriously, you’re pretty, but your looks are not anywhere near enough to make up for your nastiness.

I know you think I'm enjoying your juicy gossip, but the truth is I'm mentally adding you to my list of people to never, ever trust.

Anonymous said...

You were horrible in bed and have the IQ of a pigeon and that's why I can't see you again. I don't care if you were hot or played professional football that's not an excuse for being dumb and horrible in bed.

I wish I would have left my exboyfriend sooner when you wanted me to. Now you are getting married and I don't want you too.

Your fiance is hugely fat.

It wasn't because you were of a different race that I dumped you, it was because you spent too much time listening to what your parents had to say.

I cheated on you many times before I left you.

I had an abortion and never told my mom or any of my friends.

You are a skinny moron with an eating disorder. You were never pretty and it was not because of the weight, it's because of your big nose. No matter how fast you can run it doesn't make you any better than anyone else. Why your husband married you I don't know. I am amazed you could give birth with your eating issues.

You child looks nothing like you or your husband. Are you sure you didn't sleep with the postman or he is adopted?

No I don't want to be your sex buddy. This is to all the guys I have dated lately. You all suck.

I wish I could marry for money. I don't care if he cheated, as long as I could buy the stuff I want. My target and cvs addictions become expensive.

I hate you, you fat cow and I wish I would have never come to work for you. You disgust me. Why do you wear the exact same outfit that obviously was not washed or cleaned three days in a row? It's just disgusting for someone who is in your position. And you are the laziest person I have ever met. I can't wait to find another job so I can tell you I quit.

I think your fiance is ugly and you could do much better. Just because he is the only person you have ever slept with and you are dating him since you were 16 doesn't mean you should marry him.

Your husband is an asshole and that's why I don't come to visit you.

Okay, that was a lot.

Anonymous said...

My friends think I am an alchoholic slut that parties all the time. Really I just tell them I go out all the time so I don't seem so boring. I really just sit around my apartment on Friday & Saturday nights with my dog.

I hate the city I live in.

Most men in this city will never date me because I'm not thin enough.

I hate my job and wish I could quit.

I miss having a boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

I wish you would stop trying with your girlfriend. She's not smart enough to be with you. You don't necessarily have to be with me, but please, be with someone who deserves you. I love you too much to watch you throw yourself away.

Anonymous said...

I love my son, but he's driving me crazy! Poor thing, he's only 13. And I feel horribly guilty about the way he's had to live his life. Also, my disabled sister lives with me, and she's also driving me crazy. She's mentally disabled, but I swear to God if she farts or burps one more time I'm going to lose my mind. I know she can't help it. Yet, every 3-5 seconds, having to say, "you're excused", really wears on me. God help me, I'd just like some peace. Any for these things, I feel guilty. Nancy in CT

Anonymous said...

When I ask you for help, don't say you'll pray for me. Help me, damnit!

Don't assume my silence means I agree with you. Maybe I am just so shocked at your messed up belief system that I am speechless.

My in-laws are lunatics. Every moment I have to be in their presence is sheer torture.

Money isn't everything. In fact money in the hands of a person without a soul is worthless so don't keep trying to buy my soul with it!

Don't tell your kids if they are not good Santa won't bring them anything. They behave around you and then give their teachers hell because you have set them up for failure. Kids can't behave all the time. Adults don't, why should we expect kids to.

WOW, great idea to do this. I feel so much better. Thanks.

Wylee said...

To the insanely hurried driver who insists on racing away from every stoplight and cuts people off in traffic: I hope you get a flat tire on the way home. I take that back, I hope you get four flat tires on the way home.

To everybody who won't stop talking on their cell phones long enough to talk to the service person trying to serve them: take that cell phone and shove it up your ____ (fill in the blank with orifice of your choice.)

Anonymous said...

Molly, you are a spoiled lazy vapid useless mooch. Did you know we had to pay for your Mom's prescriptions last month because she gave you all her money so you could go to New York with friends? I hope your shitty $200/night hotel was worth it.

Anonymous said...

I'm not the hopeless romantic you think I am. Some days I love you, most days I hate you. Every day I'm afraid I can't do any better. There's a reason you've never met my friends.

I blamed it on the Union, but if I had my way I would have fired you long ago. No one cares about your kids and you're a sh*tty baker.

When I told you I was a virgin and you said "you don't know what you're missing out on", it took everything I had not to laugh. You got knocked up at 16, live with your mom ,and need a tummy tuck. I'm planning my 3rd vacation this year,pay off my credit card every month, and have never dealt with a burning sensation when I pee. Oh, and quit calling me a prude, slut. Babeland knows my address.


whew, I feel better now :)

Anonymous said...

To my co-worker: When I give you job postings and you finally say it makes you feel like I want you to leave your job... you're right.

But I least I'm giving you job postings that would be a promotion from your current job. How insulting was it when you told be a head hunter had called you to describe the job I do now but you knew I wasn't qualified because it would mean more pay? Yeah, you suck.

Anonymous said...

Talk to your goddamn teenagers!! I spend half of my teaching time counseling your children, because you can't be bothered. Do not think that just because you believe a certain way, your children do too. They are human. I love getting to know them every year.

I wish I would of had an abortion.

I wish my husband was less selfish in bed.

I wish my mother and sister would move away from me.

I wish someone would kill me, so my family can collect the insurance and have a secure future.

I wish I still did drugs.

Thank you.

Subservient No More said...

1600 calories is all it is? For real? It can't be. I would think a croissant alone or just the mac and cheese would be that. Wow. Maybe I overestimate calories. As it is I eat 1100 a day except on special occasions, so maybe I could do a 1600 day. I honestly don't know how many calories Im supposed to have in a day anyway.

Anonymous said...

Working in the library at school as a grad. assistant doesn't qualify as a real job you moron. Stop insulting me that I take awhile to get stuff done but you can get stuff done all the time and you work. I work ten hours a day at a real job. You work four hours a day. So what if you think you go to school full time. I have three classes and work full time. My finances don't let me have the option of working part time like you.

I would like you to date me although I know you never will.

I hate that people don't read my blog. It makes me feel uninteresting which I am already afraid I am.

I'm afraid to go out on a date with you after meeting you online because I'm afraid you are going to think I am fat. Because I think I am fat.

I wish I would have just had the baby. Then I would have something of you to remember you by because I know I will never see you again. It's been a year and I still miss you so much I can't stand it.

I wish you would just grow up. Stop thinking that dating younger women will make you cooler. Stop lying about your age. You are not 27, you are 38. You don't look 27 and if women believe that you are they are just stupid.

You will never be happy. Moving every few years never fixes the problem. You can't party your life away forever. You are almost forty. Yes, you have a good job but that doesn't make it any better. Meeting a different girl all the time is not going to solve your problems. Maybe you should stop and look that the problem is within you and not in everyone else.

I was the best thing that ever happened to you. Why you let me go I will never understand.

Your businesses will never work. It was never a good idea. Most of your ideas are just dumb. That's why they don't sell. Why you let your brothers talk you into investing all your money into something like that I will never know.

How dare you ask me to borrow money after you tried to kick me out of our home? Who do you think you are? I had no family around and barely any friends because I spent years with you trying to make things work. I moved just to get away from you.

sadi said...

You're supposed to be my friend, stop competing with me. I just want to talk, not compete or play the "topper" game.

The same goes for SIL. You wonder why I don't talk to you as much anymore. I'm not here so you can vent about the family and then expect me to go tell them the stuff that's bothering YOU.

For myself, quit wearing your emotions on your sleeve, the world owes me nothing. Grow up and deal. If I would handle confrontations right away, they wouldn't grow into scary monsters I can't handle.

To subservient; thank you. It feels good to vent. And I love mac 'n cheese as well.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you left me one month after I bought us a house. Now I'm all alone with no one to help me. You need to grow the hell up. Your 26 and you're happier sleeping on a mattress in the basement of your friends house than being in a happy, solid relationship with me.

I love you, but sometimes I wish you had just succeeded in killing yourself so I wouldn't be constantly scared that you're going to try again.

Thank you so much for being here for me through this mess, I wouldn't have made it without you.

I'm an alcoholic and I don't care.

I like the person that I am. At least I'm not a hateful bitch. Do you know I have never heard anyone say one nice thing about you? Maybe if you treated people better they would.

My dog stresses me out. I want to give her back to the shelter.

Friend, I think you can do so much more with your life than live with him and work at that dead end job. I know you love him and I love him too, but he's ruining your life.

You are not a good father. You never see your kids - they are not a good excuse for why you can't move.

I think you're a snob. What happened to you?

WHEW. I think I should do this everyday!

Patsy said...

In becoming "religious", you have changed, and not for the better. You are a hateful judgemental person. Do not judge me or my choices until your life is without flaws first.

Your worst day at your little part-time pill counting job is a whole hell of a lot better than my best day at work. Stop complaining and get a life with the rest of us in reality!

Take charge of the situation with your mother. YOU are the adult now, so act like one.

We just need to acknowledge what is between us and go with it. We'll only know if we try. It is almost 8 years. Let's take the plunge. I don't want any regrets.

Anonymous said...

You telling me that we should see each other once a week freaks me out and gives me a panic attack. I don't know what it is but there is something about you that bugs me. You seem nice but when we are out you look at other women all the time. And that's not even it. I really don't care that you have a house in the burbs, a condo in the city, another condo in nyc, and a house at the shore, it really doesn't impress me. In all honesty I have to be drunk to be around you and you can't even notice it. I drink at least three drinks before our dates then I drink more when we are out. I just feel bad telling you so I keep going out with you. I wasn't really that busy with school and work for the past few months. I was attempting to blow you off but you seem to think I'm too nice to do that. I'm not. I just avoid confrontation.
I wish I had the balls to tell you all this to your face, even when I drink I can't.

Anonymous said...

I quit calling you 5 months ago because I finally realized what everyone else knew. We've been friends for 25 years and everything is fine as long as I'm helping you, listening to you. Guess what? I needed YOU very much that day, guess that didn't matter as much to you. I thought I'd miss you, but I don't.

bananafofana said...

daily calorie needs calculator

http://www.bcm.edu/cnrc/caloriesneed.htm

Anonymous said...

I hate that whenever I say something negative about something you scold me. I just need to LET IT OUT!

Nicole said...

As for the 1600 calories, that's correct according to my calculations. I suppose it all depends on portion sizes. A croissant about the size of your hand, 8 oz of hot chocolate, one serving size of mac and cheese (put down the box - it's supposed to feed more than one!), an 8 oz lobster tail, not including butter and really the worst thing you are eating is an almost 400 calorie serving of mousse.

TwistedNoodle said...

After 6 months the swelling from your breast reduction should be going away, not increasing. That's not swelling on the front and back of you, it's FAT because you graze on everything in sight. Seriously, you should have kept the big boobs because now your fat rolls stick out further than your boobs do. Especially on your back. Yuck.

And to the stupid ass parent who let his 13 yr. old son have his 15 yr. old girlfriend have sleepovers, in the same room, and the same bed, what do you think is going to happen? Stupid fuck. You are a pervert who lives vicariously through your son and it wouldn't surprise me one bit if you made a peep hole so you could somehow watch. Social Services is on to you. You are a social misfit.

To the Box of Rocks mother who tells her step-daughter that she's an idiot and could never love her as much as she loves her biological son. Well, you are a fucking tart and because of all the mean, nasty things you say to this poor girl, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if she kills you in your sleep some night.

To my ultimate superior, you are a bully and have no heart or compassion. It's no wonder your husband is leaving you. You probably tried stealing his nads, leaving him no choice but to flee in order to keep them and his dignity.

To a certain 4th grade teacher. Quit stepping on and squashing the spirits of your students. They enter your class with a love and thirst for learning and eagerly come to school at the beginning of the year, only to end up faking illnesses in order to get a reprieve from you. You just plain suck.

I'm sure I could think of more but I don't want to take up your entire comments section. Can't blog this stuff on my site so thanks for letting me do it here. (Sigh) I feel better now.

Anonymous said...

You are a despicable creature, to berate your son, who has Asperger's.

I don't believe in any gods.

Anonymous said...

I think you are the dumbest person who has ever lived. Pick up your feet when you walk, dammit! Stop chewing gum all the time. It's gross! Your kid is doomed. Either he'll grow up a neanderthal like you , or he'll hate you.

You have an eating disorder. Not eating and talking about food all the time makes you no fun.

He only married you because you're a piece of ass. What are you going to do once the looks go?

I wish your brothers were alive. I loved them, too, but mostly I want my love with you back.

Anonymous said...

Are you REALLY so important that you have to talk on your cell phone in a restaurant? Admittedly, it's a chain restaurant, but it's sit-down service with waitstaff, not drive-through, so I mean, really? It can't wait until you leave? Because I have no interest in hearing you yammer, and I'd be willing to bet that your dining companions would rather talk TO you than listen to the damn phone calls.

Oh, right. They're all on THEIR cell phones. What the hell are you people bothering to go out to eat for? Eat at your damn desks, or at home, or in your cars, and leave the rest of us in peace!

***

You. Yes, you. I think you're a terrific guy, and I'd like the chance to be more than a friend to you. But I don't think you even know what you want in a relationship, and the fact that even as a friend you can't communicate when you say you will makes me wonder how often I'd hear from you if we were dating. It's just too bad you aren't ready for my level of wonderful--but have a great life anyway!

Wow. Thanks, SNM!

Anonymous said...

you are a completely myopic, egotistical, and ridiculous mother-in-law sometimes. if you think your manipulative behavior is going to make your children and their spouses come to your house and spend time with you over the holidays, you must be on crack. grow up, get over yourself, and start realizing that the world does not revolve solely around you and your feelings, and if someone else in the family is stricken with tragedy and we need to spend time with them it does not mean that they love you any less. the reason we love you less is because you push us away with your behavior, you open gaping hole of need. you're lucky your husband is still alive because we all love him - but once he's dead, all bets are off.

Anonymous said...

I really hate that you act one way with me and a completely different way with your Black friends. You're the only one that does this. What are you trying to prove? And to whom?

I wish I had never lied to you, but if I hadn't, we would have never become friends... you would have never even noticed me. I'd give anything, everything, if I could really have you. I love you, Danny.

I am so sad you had a stroke and that you are so different now. I miss you, but you annoy the fuck out of me.

Why in the HELL does every skinny young blonde hotty have to stand next to ME???

I wish I could just go back to being morbidly obese and not giving a shit. I'm bitter because I traded in my 20s and 30s for binge-eating.

I am grossed out by how I look "down there".

Bulimia doesn't work.

I have completely wasted my artistic potential. I could be so much more. I am going to go back to school and I am scared to death.

You're a nosy dramatic caricature of a Fat Gay Man. Shut Up.

You aren't that cute. You talk like your 14 when you're pushing 45. Why does your ass have to show up every time a penis walks into the nurses station?

Gawd! Stop tanning already!

The sight of you makes me sick, brush your teeth and cut off that Goddamn raggedy ass long hair. You smell like rancid baby powder.

STOP looking at me.

I wish I could just be in a coma from Thanksgiving until after Christmas.

To the skanky whore who stole my phone - enjoy your new paperweight, asshole.

When I'm driving, everyone if front of me needs to get the hell out of my way, and everyone behind me can kiss my ass.

Wide Lawns gets me through my day.

Thank you so much SNM, I truly love you :)

Anonymous said...

I can't stand that you suck up to Dad all the time because you think being super nice will convince him to leave you everything. I don't suck up to him. In spite of prior problems caused by his spiteful, childish, immature behavior, I treat him decently and try to be civil. I don't believe he has any intention of leaving anything for anybody. He is a selfish pig and will spend most of it before he dies. And after all the ass-kissing you do, I think he actually has more respect for me than he does for you.

Help your grandchild pay for college. She's the only one smart and hard working enough to make something of herself. I don't care what your daughter tries to tell you. Her kids are idiots because she married an idiot.

You and your nasty kids moved into this neighborhood and ruined it. It gives me a small thrill to know that you paid nearly three times more for your house than I did for mine and that makes you a moron. I also told my kid to tell your kid that if he hassles him again.

Stop playing favorites with your children already. Your eldest says he doesn't care...but he really does.

Your son is going to be maladjusted when he gets older because he's so short.

Posting cute/sassy pics of your kid on your blog every day, accompanied by a story illustrating how pretty/smart/athletic your child is, IS bragging. Yeah, exactly what you make fun of other bloggers for doing!

Anonymous said...

I don't want to have kids because they seem like such a pain in the ass. I always wonder if the mothers who talk ENDLESSLY about their annoying kids go home at night and get in bed at 8pm or whatever horribly early hour they do and lay there thinking about how much fun they USED TO HAVE.

I don't care that your husband is a doctor, I don't care if you make lots of money, I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW OR WHAT OFFERS YOU RECEIVE IN THE MAIL BECAUSE YOU ARE A DOCTOR. Play on, girlie. That stuff does not impress me.

If you say you want to be my friend, then ACT LIKE MY FRIEND. Like, for example, spend some time with me. Take an interest in my life. Email me or something. Don't just say that you want to be friends in front of the family in order to make me look bad. I don't like you!

You are bad parents. You admit that you spoil your daughter, and yet, you continue to do it. Your entire life revolves around her, and what she wants, and what she feels like or doesn't feel like. She is going to be a royal terror and you don't seem to care.

People who don't spank their kids are dumb. They deserve their bratty children. The problem is, that I don't. And yet I'm forced to live in the world with them.

Mothers are so completely self-and child-absorbed that I literally cannot handle spending any extended time with them. I mean, seriously. Your life does NOT have to completely end once you get pregnant. Why is this all you can talk about or think about? What happened to your brains?

I just don't like your husband. I think he is a squatty, unattractive dork. And you could have done SO MUCH BETTER. I think he was a rebound that turned into a marriage.

I am too lazy and need some structure in my life. But every day when I try to start a routine, I decide that tomorrow would be a better day to do it.

You think you are so much better than anyone else, and you love to talk about your life as if you are the only important thing that could possibly be in it. I enjoy hearing other people talk about how annoying they find you. I like it that I know you don't have very many friends. I'm not your friend either!

And on the day of no consequences, I would buy a ridiculous plane ticket to somewhere wonderful and exciting, and I'd eat ice cream for every meal and drink only yummy drinks with Bailey's and eat cheese and sour cream to my heart's content. And my body WOULD LOVE the lactose, and I would also lose at least 7 pounds and look wonderful. And chic. In my exciting city.

Anonymous said...

Oh! And I hate the website Dooce. I think she is such an annoying, arrogant jerk. With a major victim's complex and a seriously bratty child.

Why people flock to her in droves, I'll never understand.

Anonymous said...

I love you girl I work with, and I wish you'd leave your crappy boyfriend. A lease is no reason to stay in a relationship.

Anonymous said...

Don't go back to your ex. He is no good. And DON'T have another baby just because you want one. The last thing you need right now is another kid with no father. You are a single mother struggling to support the child you have. Your ex is no damn help. Do everyone a favor and wait.

You think you are better than me because you run your family's business, live in a big, ugly McMansion, drive a fancy car, and have alot of expensive toys. You could not be more wrong. You are nothing. If not for your mother's money, you would be sweeping the floor somewhere. Your hand-picked wife is a bitch and your two daughters are homely, poor things. One thing money hasn't been able to buy you is looks. Or personality. All your employees hate you because you are a pr*ck.

You have crippled your son by paying for everything and not making that smug, self centered jerk stand on his own two feet and maybe do without once in awhile. His wife was a nice girl when he married her, but seven years of you rushing in with your checkbook has turned her into an ungrateful bitch.

You know damn good and well my uncle would be unhappy if he saw you treating us the way you do.

lucky_grrrl said...

I hate you Marilyn. If I never had to see you again, I wouldn't miss you at all. F*ck off!

John, your combover looks ridiculous. You're bald on top. Accept it already!

Person X, I hate your beagles. They don't recognize any of the humans in your house as alpha, and you are the one that made them that way. Cesar Milan dog whisperer, look into him!

Person Y, the stuffed animals are creepy. I hate them. I know that it was hugely traumatic that you had to give up your dream of having kids because of infertility, and that the stuffed animals fill a void in your heart. But, that being said, there are too many of them in your house and the names, backstory, and "voice" that each animal has is just creepy creepy creepy. The voices are the worst part. Don't speak to me as one of the animals, and please stop having the animals ask me "questions" because I hate having to respond to an inanimate object. (but mostly it makes me sad -- I feel so bad for you that this is how the two of you have chosen to cope).

I hate you Marilyn.

Person Z, stop using baby talk with my child. "Dese, "dem", "dere", and "dose" are not words. "Is him a good boy" is not grammatically correct. You have been getting on my last nerve recently.

Person ZZ, for a smart successful businessperson, you have made some really stupid business decisions over the past five years (yes, BEFORE the stroke and heart attack -- the stupid decisions began BEFORE your health and memory were compromised -- there, I said it, so everyone can stop pretending now!).

Mary said...

Yes, I'll probably get attached to you if we fuck, but pleeease just fuck me anyway.

Anonymous said...

When I cut you out of my life I thought it would be harder than it actually was. You are self absorbed and I am relieved to not have to listed to your whining.

I know that I will love my husband more than I love my children, but I am not so sure about him. It scares me so much that I think about not having children at all.

Just because you are my brother in law does not mean I have to like you, you raciest homophobe!

If you didn't think I was compatible for the job I wish you would have just told me rather than string me along and then cut off contact when I asked for an explanation. You are a wuss!

All of your half-joking mean comments don't matter, because I know I will outlast you. Suck on that bitch!

I hope that the fulfillment of being mean to D is worth losing your two best friends over. You are becoming all the things you hate about your father, and your snobbery will only bring you unhappiness.

I'm sorry Grandma, but I just don't like your side of the family. They are all self absorbed snobs that don't really like me either. After you pass away your funeral will probably be the last time I see them.

You are the only one that turned out well in your family, but I still love them.

Stop putting yourself out to help everyone else when you need to help yourself for a change.

I have a crush on you.

The sooner you realize that the world doesn't owe you anything the happier you will be.

Thanks for letting me spill my guts.

Anonymous said...

I am a flaming liberal on all issues except illegal immigration. I know it's a complicated issue, but I don't don't want people here illegally. I don't even think it should be an issue--kick them all out! And please, learn some English! I don't set foot in another country even for vacation without learning a little bit of the language.


I feel bad for being disgusted by obese people like you. I hate that our society forces people to think they need to conform to a certain standard to be beautiful, but I find myself buying into it too sometimes. Obesity screams gluttony, lack of self-control to me.

You've told me that story already--3 different times--don't you get tired listening to youself talk?

Anonymous said...

Please stop wearing so much mascara. It looks like you have dead spiders glued to your eyes.

Pat said...

I don't ask for help much, but I've been really, really sick. Stay in bed all month sick. I needed your help and no one heard me.

I had the meds, I had the instructions, but i needed a little
TLC.

It would have been kind if someone could have brought me some groceries or some soup or SOMETHING, even though a lot of the neighborhood knew I was in bad shape.

Now I know for certain that I can't count on any of you for anything, especially when it's life and death.

I can't believe I'm writing this.

Lux said...

I love this blog.

:)

A Margarita said...

I'm in love with someone who doesn't appreciate me. I can realize that and still date other people, but I don't think anyone will ever make me as happy as he does.

Anonymous said...

Gods bless you, SNM, for this outlet.

I think NaNoWriMo is fucking stupid. You're not going to write the next Great American Novel, you're probably going to write bad fanfic and obsess about it in your blog and you know what? No. One. Cares. They really don't, they just wish you'd shut the hell up about NaNo. Whoever came up with the concept should be taken out and beaten with whips made of spun-together paper ropes of bad anime slash fiction.

And as for you, the reason we don't want to hang out with you anymore is because you were right about what you are - a whiny, spoiled, selfish little asshole who takes pleasure in hurting people and alienates all his friends. Well, you've finally succeeded, bucko. It only took you a little over two years to do it, so you must be getting a little better. The only friends you've really got left is the one who wants to be you and the one who wants to fuck you. One last thing? You're not a writer either. You're a pompous little shit who pictures himself the next J.K. Rowling typing away in the local Starbucks, but can't spell his way out of a paper bag, and who has no concept of grammar. Reading your pseudo-intellectual crap would be worse than dipping a paper cut in Tabasco sauce, followed by a salt rinse.

When your email "signatures" are longer than your goddamned email, you're not interested in communicating with me. You want to communicate AT me. They weren't clever the first time. They're still not clever the umpteen millionth time.

I don't want him. Really. You can have him. I know he doesn't believe it either. I think you'll both spend your time making one another miserable, and it's just what you both need.

I think my sister is an idiot. And I think her fiance will cheat on her.

I keep having the feeling that my father-in-law is going to die before this Christmas.

Anonymous said...

This post is for everyone in the USofA who has so much vitriol to spew about immigrants...

You are all grandiose conceited moronic idiots.

Who in the hell do you think your forefathers were?

It's no wonder the rest of the world is fed up with you.

Thank you SNM.

Janitor said...

I'd really like to tell the two bitchy old women in the building I clean that no amount of money, and no amount of nagging will make a lower middle class, but rather nice looking, condo building a "five star" residence, when the area all around you is going to hell, and your condos are slowly being turned out into rentals...

Renters can be a problem, but the bigger problem is the absentee landlords -- people who aren't making the money they want and won't vote for rate increases and will fight to NOT pay for things.

And, for God's sake -- can He PLEASE strike them dead the next time one of them marvels at how black people can afford to live there?

If He did that, I might actually feel I have a chance at leaving this soul sucking job with my sanity intact...

Anonymous said...

To my step children - I have spent twenty years genuinely loving you. I have gone broke to make sure that you could wear decent clothes while your mother spent the child support money on herself. You have spat in my face and hurt me over an over again and I forgave you over and over again because to me you really *are* my children. I'm tired of the drama, tired of being the patsy and you will never have the chance to hurt me again. There's not an ounce of your sweet father in you and you can all go fuck yourselves.

To my ex best friend - I grew tired of you taking advantage of me in so many ways but I put up with it. I felt for you when your husband left you for another woman, but girlfriend, he was a verbally abusive asshole and I saw it coming ten years ago. I tried to be there for you, even cancelled vacation plans that you never knew I had but you whined that I "wasn't there for you". Aside from moving in with you I couldn't have been MORE there for you. Frankly a woman that puts others down in order to feel good about herself has more issues than I can touch. I'm sorry, but when you put me down for making what ended up being the best decision of my life I had to make a second decision - you were not a friend to me. I was a sounding board and somebody that made you feel good. You were a parasite that sucked the very life out of me. In the two years that I've cut you out of my life I've never been happier and I've since discovered what real friends are.

A lot of folks are talking about their weight. I spent my youth slender; fighting Mother Nature every step of the way. At 52 my body has thickened, no diet works and I've become contented and accepting of my spare tire and extra chin. Here's the kicker - there are no less than three men in love with me. This is not my doing, nor have I encouraged them. I'm a happily married woman and would never cheat on hubby, the love of my life. These are nice guys and follow me around at work like puppies. One has written me poetry and this dude is 37 years old and a hunk. Girls, it's not about the body. If you want to lose weight and have your life change then think about this - would you want somebody that judges you on appearance? If an old bat like me stuffed into a size 18 can attract so many men, and decent men at that, let me assure you that confidence is the key, not looking like Angelina Jolie. Lose weight for yourself, lose it for health, but don't lose it to attract Mr. Right.

Thanks for letting me get all that off my chest!

girl A said...

It took a long time but I finally regret that one night stand in Vegas.

I'm really proud of you for losing 60 pounds but in addition to losing 60 pounds you lost your old friends. I know deep down that you look at us as your 'fat friends' and that hurts more than the fact that after 15 years of friendship you cant return one phone call for 8 months.

Sister- you are better than him. I just hope you find out before its too late.

I hate exercising, I hate dieting, and I hate being fat.

I know deep down that even though you denied it, you were so relieved that someone stepped in and offered to help you with your eating disorder. That was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. I cried more about you and your health than i did for anything else. We never spoke of it ever again but you did start eating more and you look great now 4 years later. I'm glad your hair grew back and you stopped having chest pains.

Sometimes I think alot of problems would be solved if he died. That scares the shit out of me and I am prepared but I want him to walk me down the aisle first.

To the person who eats a cheese burger (and the bun) with a fork and knife- go fuck yourself!

I love puppies more than babies and I am afraid that will never change.

I am so creative but I have no outlet for it. I'm afraid that if I try use it somewhere I will fail.

I don't do anything that I'm not good at. I don't do much...

Growing up I used to throw your beer bottles over the fence and put liquid soap in your liquor bottles.

I have so many more....

Anonymous said...

So you waited till the last minute to purchase your glasses and you can't get your drivers license...why is that my fault?

Stop talking on your cell phone and I will wait on you.

No you cannot clock in then go for coffee or go to the bank..do that before you come to work.

Can't anyone show up 5 minutes early..why can the patients get to the store before the receptionists.

After dealing with immature unreasonable people all day that I get paid to be nice to..I can't be nice to your stupid ass for free.

Stop talking baby talk to the dogs..they are dogs for gods sake.

That pink Escalade is an eye sore and just makes you look ghetto I don't care is you are a breast cancer survivor. You can have the sensitivity turned down on the alarm ...nobody wants to steal that thing, must we hear the alarm after every thunder boom?

There is such a thing as too much Christmas decorating.

I like beer. I like beer after work. I like beer with dinner. If I hear one more time that I'm just like my father I will scream. Get over it your father liked beer too..live with it.

vsusieq said...

Why do you lie when it is so easy for me to find the truth?

Your children are adorable only to you.

Why are you so grouchy all the time?

Anonymous said...

You're not sparing their feelings by lying. They know you just don't want to spend time with them. Lying just adds insult to injuring.

Wake up! She stands you up, doesn't return phone calls, hits on other men (even ones there with their wives) in front of you, and decided to quit a perfectly good job two days after you foolishly decided to take her back. SHE'S USING YOU! AND YOU CAN BARELY AFFORD TO SUPPORT YOURSELF!

You are a hypocrite. You have no right to be hurt that your sister doesn't try harder to visit you. She runs a business and is primary caregiver to three children. You only care that she's not there when you have nothing better to do. Why do you think she can or should want to sacrifice other parts of her life to please you?

I don't care if you're 40 years older than I am. You're a jerk and an idiot. I don't respect you.

Actually, I'm just shy. I didn't avoid you until you accused me of being rude and snobby for not being as out-going as you. I thought we could be friends, but now I can't stand you.

Your father is a monster. Your mother is worse for pretending otherwise. Our child will spend time alone with them OVER MY DEAD BODY. I just pray they didn't ruin your ability to be a good father. If I find out they did, I will take him from you, too.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather masturbate than have sex with you.

Even though we have a beautiful family, I think I would be happier if I lived alone.

Anonymous said...

Please don't lecture me any more about being single. Please stop making it the only available topic of conversation every time I see you, even though you are my father and have my best interests at heart. It has only been a year since I dumped him and I'm only 27 - I'm not a spinster.

Anonymous said...

I'm embarrassed that I used to be such a slut. I had an abortion but don't know who the father was. I could have trapped the guy I loved but I didn't and sometimes regret that I didn't. The only reason I didn't was cause I couldn't prove who the father was.

My husband has only slept with me twice this year. I think of you when he does sleep with me. You were the best lover ever. I am glad we're not together though. You have serious issues. Damn you were good though.

I'm glad I have more internet friends than real life ones. I don't have time to give the real life ones...or I just don't want to make time for them.

I think my husband is insecure in bed because he's sober now. Drunk sex is easy.

Anonymous said...

I wish you weren't married, we could have had such a good thing.

I want to be loved so badly, why can't I find the right guy.

You drive me nuts, everything is "about you".

You are fun to be around, but take alot of energy from me.

I am scared my Mom will die before my Father. He and I don't get along and I will have no love any more.

Anonymous said...

Dave - you are a complete asshole, and there is a REAL reason your ex wife hates you so much: you CHEATED ON HER! You will never be happy because you will never allow yourself to be.

D2 - Everyone hates your parties, but we all go to be nice. Keeping guests waiting until after 10:30 for dinner on a week night is not cool and laid-back, it's fucking rude. I ALWAYS have a full dinner before every single one of your "dinner" parties.

A - Yes, I judge you. I judge you because you have diabetes and continue to eat like shit. No, you are NOT allergic to ANYTHING. Stop using that lame ass excuse to not eat vegetabes. You aren't five. Wake up and get healthy. I really don't want to see you die before you're forty. You like to think that this is about fat vs. thin, but it's not. It's about eating in such a way that you control your blood sugar and don't turn into an unreponsive lump every time you eat a meal. I hate eating with you because you change so much due to the blood sugar issues.

AN - I love you, but god almighty you're annoying sometimes. I also don't think you realize exactly how self absorbed you are.

Everyone - Ok, fine, I'm fat. Guess what, so are most of you. I know exactly two people who aren't even a little bit overweight and they are the only ones who don't seem to give a shit that I am. The most judgement and dirision toward fat people comes not from skinnies, but from other fatties. Hello, self hatred.

SUV drivers - You all suck and should be the first ones drafted for our soon-to-be war for oil. I hope they put you on the front lines.

I don't understand Dooce's popularity either, and all her bratty kid needs is a little discipline. Dooce comes across as the most neurotic, tiresome person in her blog and I will never understand how she has parlayed that into a high paying job.

Anonymous said...

Neighborhood boys: you were so sweet when you were little. Then you went to school. It made you hard and mean and every nasty thing that is done to you there, you bring back to the neighborhood to pass on to those younger than you. I wish your parents were less concerned about the state of their lawns and more about your well-being.

Lady across the street: your son is almost 14. He shouldn't be playing with 7 year old girls. Get him some friends his own age. Oh, and stop encouraging the sword fetish in him. It's starting to get weird.

Stop lecturing him about putting our kids in school every time my back is turned. My kid just read a chapter book even though the "experts" said he'd never be able to read. If we'd followed your advice he'd be in special ed right now. We're never going to stop homeschooling. Your education degree doesn't make you special. Get over it.

Anonymous said...

Cousin Jeff - Just because your kid committed suicide doesn't mean I have to have respect for you or be nice to you. It was six years ago, and you are still a racist, still have no compassion toward your fellow man, and still would sell out your own family to save your ass. You tried to keep your own daughter from seeking Medicaid when she found herself pregnant without insurance. I think you are an arrogant prick and I hate the two times a year I have to be around you. So you suffered tragedy. So what? So do millions of people on the planet every day. Get over yourself.

Daddy - You're an alcoholic and you need to stop drinking.

Anonymous said...

I know you slept with the associate pastor because I heard you talking about it on the phone when you thought no one was listening. And yet you have the nerve to spend 24/7 criticizing and finding fault with everyone you know? When I have to listen to you talking trash about other people, I want to scream. You are the most judgmental, arrogant, selfish bitch on the planet. Why don't you just quit going to church? It hasn't done you any good and furthermore, I'd bet my entire bank account that they would all be GLAD to see you gone!

Mrs. Sara said...

I didn't know what nablopomo was. I had to google it.

Anonymous said...

I hate it that you always kiss me with your eyes open a little.

Anonymous said...

I never thought I was capable of monogamy until I met you. I would love to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, ask me.

It really bothers me that you didn't stand up for me when our group of girls fell apart and I ended up the scapegoat. I feel like that's the second incident of two in which you've put your own needs ahead of mine. At the same time, I know that my summary is completely not true, and that you're taking a day off of work next week just to come decorate my house for me, because you know I won't do it without you. I depend on our friendship very much; I hope, if you ever read this, you don't take my anger to heart.

I think your marriage was a terrible idea and I think you're too young to be a bride.

I think your complaints about your marriage are selfish and insecure, and I think you need more help. I know your husband can be a jerk, but he loves you, and you know you can't get anyone better. You two deserve each other, get used to it.

I just met you, but I think you're awesome and I hope we get to hang out more.

I'm actually happy that we're not friends anymore. I was really annoyed that you broke off the friendship, and I thought your email of "reasons" was bullshit, but you're extremely high-maintenance and it's nice to be rid of you. I really want to send you an email of things I hate about you and why it should have been me breaking off the friendship--for example, every time I saw it was you I sighed and ignored your call, because I knew talking to you would be such a drama-fest--but I won't because I think your ego couldn't take it, and I'd hate to be the reason you killed yourself. I'd feel guilty over someone I didn't even like.

I hate most vegans, even though I was one. I think most vegans are vegan because they hate people, not because they love animals. I think most hipster guys are stupider than Joe Dirt, and they look just as dumb. I think most Liberals are more narrow minded than the Republicans they hate.

I'm terrified that my novel will be a huge flop.

Me said...

I'm married and trying to have a baby, but I still think about you all the time. It's not because I love you... I'm happy that I finally HATE you. I actually feel physically ill whenever your ugly oblong face comes into my head. I often imagine myself punching you repeatedly. I hate you more than I ever loved you. I hope your life is miserable and sad. I hope that when you found out I got married it HURT. I have no problem talking about how abusive you were to me. I want the world to know what a scumbag you are. I want the world to know that abuse happens to smart, successful, beautiful women too.

Your dick reminded me of a pencil. I couldn't feel it either.

The sheer amount of food you consume in one sitting absolutely disgusts me. I always make enough food so that we have leftovers, but we never have any... I wish you would lose at least 50lbs.

I still have flashbacks of the day you died. I can still feel your lips on mine as I tried to save you. I feel so guilty that I broke your ribs while performing CPR... I felt them break. It makes me want to puke.

I can't ride rollar coasters anymore because the sound of my own screams give me panic attacks.

I hope I'm pregnant.

My engagement ring cost $75.00. People are always commenting on how beautiful it is. This really is the ring of my dreams, even though it's not "real".

I hate your mother.

You ruined my high school experience with your vicious lies. I wasn't a beer slut. He drugged me and tried to rape me.

I have a medical condition. The medications I take have "weightloss" listed as a side effect. Once I realized that the drug was making me lose weight, I complained and had the doctor increase my dosage... I stopped taking the pills and now I'm afraid I'm getting fat.

I wish I could've been a pop star. I can't sing worth a crap.

Anonymous said...

when you give a child a look that says "you are SO weird!" they know it. they know it and they don't forgive you for it.

you were my favorite! why did you always like everyone else better than me?

poonem said...

i'm hate that i cant come out to my friends and family.

i hate that i cant get a better job because of the way i choose to dress.

i hate binary gender roles that make it unacceptable for me to wear dresses in public.

i'm sick of people who believe that we are going destroy the earth with suvs and capitalism. go do some research! global warming? its fucking cold outside!

i'm sick of racist "civil rights leaders".

stop asking me personal questions at work. its none of your fucking business whether or not i'm gay, why i dye my hair or paint my nails or wear more makeup than you. just fuck off and do your job!

stop touching me you nasty hoe!

i wish i could remember my life.

Anonymous said...

I was a crappy mom who put a relationship with a man before you because I just wanted someone to love me. I should have left him twenty one years ago to make a better life for both of us. Now that I've left him and he's sucking up to both of us to win me back, you are calling him "dad." I'll probably go back to him to make you happy. I wish you weren't pregnant. I think you'll be a crappy mom like I was. My parents were crapppy too and I had no idea how to be a parent. Your life is a wreck financially and you lie all the time. I think my grandchild is totally fucked. I don't want to be a grandma because I'll probably have to raise your baby because your life is such a mess. You got pregnant by someone you barely know and think he "will be there for you and the baby." Just wait until you ask for money for day care. I resent the fact t hat I finally got my self together and will have to raise a baby while I still have student loans. I'm afraid you'll give your baby a messed up name like Seanique or Jamal Dupree - why handicap the child at birth? You're not as pretty as you think you are. I love you more than you will ever know.

I'm secretly happy that I'm fortysix and look much younger. After treating my body like an amusement park for twentyfive years, it's a miracle.

SJ said...

Gonna be brave and use my SN.

I hate your fucking guts. You used me and I let you do it. Who do you think you are to be mean to me now?

Sometimes for a moment or two I wish you had had held on for that extra 15 seconds and killed me...then I'm glad I didn't get done in by a douchebag.

Why the hell did you abandon me at that time? I needed you so badly and you just threw me away like trash. I hated that I needed you and still am ashamed of myself.

Stop flirting with me, I'm vunerable and don't want to make more big mistakes, but I'm getting lonely.

Gum poppers...if you aren't a 14 year old girl you have no business snapping your gum. You are annoying and gross and I hate you so hard.

Stop wearing that gross cologne, you make me want to vomit and I don't like going home smelling like an old man...a smelly old man.

Your bald...you are an evil bald midget and we don't want you working here anymore. Men don't dislike you because you are a bald midget although I'm sure that doesn't help. It is because you are a psychopath.

I hate watching people eat 4 times the amount I do and not gain weight. I am sitting here with my stomach growling refusing to eat because I don't want to be fat anymore. It isn't fair and it pisses me off.

I wish I could write like SNM and that people read my blog, but I'm kind of whiney and my grammar sucks so I understand why they don't.

Wow....see that was cleansing. But I'm outed as a raving lunatic

Kelly said...

SHUT UP, no one wants to hear your humping and moaning!

You are a wimpy man-slut, you deserve that jealous bitch. I miss you.

Your house is filthy, you shouldn't be allowed to run a day care.

I'm afraid to end up like you.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I think "The Day of No Consequences" has been a truly wild success.

On my day of no consequences, I would go to work, find my manager, and tell them everything that is wrong with the store. I would demand to be paid what the new people are making with all the benefits, or I'd walk. And when they'd fail to respond, I'd walk happily, knowing they're losing one of their better employees.

I know I can do much better jobwise, but I procrastinate, because I'm bad at initiating change, and I'm afraid of what it's going to be like moving on.

I love my family, but sometimes I wish I could move out somewhere far away and exciting. I love them, but sometimes they drive me nuts. I wish I was comfortable enough with them to come out to them, but we're not that kind of a family. No one talks about their issues here, you just cope on your own.

I have suicidal whims and occasional fits of depression. It doesn't mean I'm going to do anything about that, but it would be nice to wait for a train without having the urge to throw myself on the rails. I know I should probably seek help, but it's not something I want to admit to anyone, even a therapist. Again, talking about issues isn't something done in my family.

I think the saddest thing in life is learning how to cry silently, so that no one notices or asks what's wrong. And the worst part is the thought that no one would care if they did know.

I don't know why my sisters think I'm the smart one. I'm not. I'm afraid I'm never going to measure up or be successful.

I love my friends, and I'd do damn near anything for them. But I wish I could find someone who would love me, too.

Thanks, SNM. Those are a lot of things that wouldn't be said otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Wow.

I love you, I love you, I love you. I want to spend my life with you. I want to grow old with you. And every time you talk about your boyfriend breaks my heart a little more. That's the real reason I don't want to date E.

Anonymous said...

I pretend to be upset that you don't like tan women, but secretly I love being pale. I feel less vain, and more natural.

I say I'm not a militant atheist, but the truth is somewhere deep down I think all religious people are absolute, complete idiots for believing in something comparable to a fairytale.

Sometimes it scares me to face the reality that I have no distracting vision of an afterlife; it scares me into enjoying my life as much as possible. And for that, I'd wish the fear on anyone.

Why are Americans so obsessed with children? They don't feel any more or less special than any other human being to me. I love working with the elderly because they often possess so much wisdom and have so much to give, if only people would listen.

I hate catty women. It really, really hurts my feelings when you shoot me those looks when I go to the dining hall after going to the gym because I dared to wear shorts. I can't help your insecurities, but it's all another form of cruelty.

I self medicate using adderall to treat manic depression, a long inherited family disease. It only feels a little better that adderall is being used experimentally to treat manic depression right now. But I won't go back to that hell, regardless of whether or not I'm misusing drugs.

I wish Professor Snape would come whisk me away.

drawer queen said...

I tell myself I have forgiven you, but I haven't.

I wish I had seduced your husband, you bitch. I could have done it so easily.

I don't believe in your God and stop forwarding me shit that you want me to send to ten of my friends. I would not do that to a friend and it pisses me off.

I think your extreme religiousness is a sign of a mental deficit.

Thanks for the forum. It feels really good to say it!

Anonymous said...

Your brother has Parksinson's disease. I married him anyway, because I love him. You and your other brother dumped him because the quarter million dollar estate was worth more to you than your relationship with him. I 'll give "you" this much--it's kind of nice to know the value a relative places on their relationship with you. But that's all you get--you and the rest of the relative are permanently out of our lives.

AMitch5784 said...

I am not suprised you have cancer... when I pick you up from chemo you are taking a smoke break. You stink, and I dont' feel sorry for you. Stop complaining

Anonymous said...

Get out of my house and let your father and I finally be able to have a relationship with just the two of us in it. We NEVER had that from day one. You are lazy and useless. You have no goals therefore will be our problem forever. I'm tired of you skipping work and laying around here all day with your girlfriend smoking pot, screwing and playing video games. I resent you because I know these activities will keep you in this house even longer. I resent your father is basically letting you get away with being that useless.

I should have never married you. If I knew your ex-wife and your kids would have sucked the life out of me and our relationship as much as they have I would have RAN in the other direction. You are also way too demanding and needy.

I'm secretly in love with a wonderful man I met when I used to work. He doesn't want me since I threw away my life by being married to you. I will love him for the rest of my life. He was the ONE.

I resent you for never letting me have a child and expecting me to help raise yours when you or your ex-wife could have cared less about them. Then taking credit for being Parents of the Year all the time leaving someone else to do your dirty work. Bastards.

I am angry at you for dying. You should have taken care of yourself. Instead you didn't and now me and mommy will mourn over you forever.

You are a BITCH who thinks they are above everyone else. Which just makes you a total asshole - not perfect like you think.

He left you because you were a cheating money hungry whore.

You proved what a slut you were by getting pregnant with another man and still refusing to sign the divorce papers.

No matter how much money you spend getting the perfect house and car and pretending you have the perfect family and life - you will still be garbage to the people who REALLY know you.

I will love you forever. I should have told you. I know I didn't have to. We didn't need words. I saw it all in your eyes. I love you now, I loved you then and I will always love you. I would do ANYTHING to be with you. My life is horrible without you in it. Everyday I secretly hope will be the day you come to me and tell me you feel the same. Because I know you do. I just fear you will never make a move. Come back. I love and miss you.

Anonymous said...

I love you, but you don't understand me, and I hate that you were more concerned about income than my feelings when I really needed to leave those jobs.

I resent that you had a perfect upbringing.

I spent years screaming for people to take me away from my parents, but they all said I would regret it. I don't. I regret being made to stay. All of you locked me into that hell and made me stay by parroting what was best for me. The bruises weren't best for me. The screaming wasn't best for me. Watching the child support being spent on my brother's $300 sneakers every six months while my clothing fell apart around me wasn't best for me. I will hate you forever for that.

Corrinne said...

I couldn't resist this...

It is not my fault you moved and forgot to change your address, resulting in not getting you bill. It is not my fault you dropped your cell phone in the toilet and you chose not to get insurance. It is not my fault that you are so fucking DUMB that you cannot understand how you went over your minutes.

to my Boss- You act like this job should be our pride and joy and that we should have no life. Even if it is against company policy, if someone shows up an hour after we are closed, I AM NOT going to help them. Especially when they have a working phone and they just feel like getting something new.

To my boyfriend- I am an idiot for the things I did to you. But I am happy we are working past it.

I miss my mom so much I feel like I can't breath sometimes. I am completely lost without her.

Since she died last month I have no ambition to do anything. I clean my apartment and I go to work (and do a half assed job). For the first time in two years I am not on the Dean's list. I am actually failing this term and I cannot get my head out of my ass.

I want to have fun again but I don't feel like I know how.

I have been clean for two years so stop treating me like a junkie. I was once upon a time, but I haven't been any time lately. I am sorry if talking to me might ruin your reputation.

I hate most kids. I wish I could breed cute puppies instead. lol

Stop feeding your grandson Ranch dressing with everything. Calling him "tank" is not cute. He is morbidly obese and probably will be for the rest of his life because of the way you have raised him.

He will also be a stupid, annoying, asshole is whole life probably. Because you cater to everything he wants and he has no discipline. He obviously is mentally challenged but you cannot accept it.

AArg. So much more but I am good for now. But seriously. I don't know whats wrong with me. My anti-depressants must be crap.

Anonymous said...

Why does it seem like we're only friends when we're alone?

I think I love you but you act like you hate me.

I said I was sorry; you can't blame me for thinking that.

I want to die sometimes...

That hurt you bitch. Say it to my face instead of having her do it.

I'm afaid of failing.

Why does the whole class expect me to know everything? I'm not that smart.

I'm smarter than the whole class. That isn't saying much, considering the idiots who thought Asia was a country.

Please stop lying.

I play a role to the point I'm not sure who I really am.

I've always wanted staight A's. Why did I feel so empty when I got them?

Amazon Search Box

About Me

Blog Archive

Followers

There was an error in this gadget