Saturday, November 03, 2007

We No Longer Have a Beach, Unless You Mean A1A

Now that the pseudo tropical storm (read 4 days of crazy wind and occasional rain) has passed I took a long walk on the beach early this morning to see what washed up. There was a lot of trash, but also some interesting bits of coral, which was still alive, as well as a lot of injured and dead fish and all kinds of shells.

An old man and I found this beautiful starfish, which was missing a leg and the man didn't know if it was dead or not. Luckily it was still alive, just terribly displaced from its home. I knew it wasn't dead because it was still purple. I assured the man that the starfish would grow back its missing leg. I love this picture because it reminds me of myself. I've always identified with starfish because when I was 18 and working as a cook in the hotel in Atlanta I had a bad accident wherein I sliced off the tip of my left middle finger. It was so bad there wasn't much to even stitch. Within a few months, the tip of my finger had completely regrown with barely a scar. I thought I was magic but recently I learned that if you cut something small off (not like your whole leg or something) before you are finished growing, that in rare cases the part can regrow. If you're old you're SOL though. The old man and I returned the starfish back to the sea, so it should be fine.

Later in the day Husband and I had to run some truly miserable errands and as we started down the street to get off of this island where now we live, we found that there was no beach left, and in fact the waves were breaking on the road and flooding it. This was certainly interesting, as a few hours earlier the beach was still the beach and the road was still the road. Suddenly the tide came in and with all the erosion from the tropical storm, there was no sand left to hold back the waves.


Here you can see that all the debris that is usually on the beach is now on the road and all the cars were having to drive to one side, which was causing mass hysteria because people who live here are insane and believe that fighting in the middle of a flooded road is really the best solution to all of this. Husband and I gave up and turned around.
But not before we saw this beautiful sight. Because this is, afterall, South Florida, where even in the middle of a flood one can witness some gross, old dude in a Speedo embracing a young girl in a bikini. I love where I live.

6 comments:

Sauntering Soul said...

Glad to hear y'all stayed safe down there.

I did not know you could regrow part of your finger. I'm glad yours grew back. One of my uncles found some sort of explosives in someone's garage when he was 7. He blew off parts of four of his fingers and none of them grew back. But it was much more than the tips.

Old men in speedos....blech!

Anonymous said...

Don't know how close you are to central florida, but found this and thought you might find it funny.....


Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Central Florida market:

" SOUTH TAMPA/WESTCHASE Barbie"
This princess Barbie is sold only at The INTERNATIONAL MALL . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

" BRANDON/RIVERVIEW Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

"PLANT CITY Barbie"
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable
bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

" BAYSHORE Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

" SEFFNER/THONTONTOSASSA BARBIE"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's
butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag
bumper sticker absolutely free.

" Downtown Metro Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription
available as well as warehouse conversion condo.

" GIBSONTON Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Deland Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

" DOWNTON ST. PETERSBURG Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two UT Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for
free.

" HILLSBOROUGH/NEBRASKA Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

"FISHHAWK RANCH Barbie"
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.

" RAINBOW ROOM Barbie/Ken"
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken.

Charlotte said...

That thing with the tip of your finger growing back is way cool.

I like where you live too. I think one day I may need to venture down there and experience the craziness for myself.

JDogg said...

Glad that you and husband made it out ok.

michelle said...

the pseudo tropical storm visited my 'hood (nova scotia) yesterday through last night ... i'm glad we didn't have 4 days of it, as 24 hours caused enough headaches!

MP said...

i don't think i've ever seen a starfish like that..very cool. I want the beach!!

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