Tuesday, November 20, 2007
A Small Emergency
1:44 PM | 
Posted by
Wide Lawns |
The Internet at my house is broken. I decided to come to my parents' house to use theirs to let you know that the Internet at my house is broken, and as I stepped onto my front step I saw that someone or something had pooped at my front door.
I repeat. There was a turd on my doorstep. A big turd. My doorstep is a pretty out of the way place for anyone or anything to take a crap so whoever did it had to go to some effort.
I am not happy that my Internet is broken and that someone has deposited feces in front of my apartment. This is not ok. I will spare you a photograph because I know that you all don't want to see a turd as much as I don't want to see a turd and that it would be almost as jarring for you to load the page and discover poo as it was for me to open my door and nearly step in it.
I arrived at my parents' house to use their computer and found my one sane, normal, healthy cousin who has decided to take his vacation time from a very prestigious university to spend the holiday with this crazy lot. I think it has something to do with our close proximity to South Beach, but this is merely a theory.
There was also a man named Elvis standing in the kitchen talking to my mom.
I repeat. There was a turd on my doorstep. A big turd. My doorstep is a pretty out of the way place for anyone or anything to take a crap so whoever did it had to go to some effort.
I am not happy that my Internet is broken and that someone has deposited feces in front of my apartment. This is not ok. I will spare you a photograph because I know that you all don't want to see a turd as much as I don't want to see a turd and that it would be almost as jarring for you to load the page and discover poo as it was for me to open my door and nearly step in it.
I arrived at my parents' house to use their computer and found my one sane, normal, healthy cousin who has decided to take his vacation time from a very prestigious university to spend the holiday with this crazy lot. I think it has something to do with our close proximity to South Beach, but this is merely a theory.
There was also a man named Elvis standing in the kitchen talking to my mom.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Amazon Search Box
About Me
Search
Links
- 15 Minute Lunch (My Mom Thinks He's Funnier Than Me)
- A Mom, A Blog, and the Life In-Between
- Anne Nahm
- Be a Fan of Wide Lawns on Facebook
- Bitchypoo
- Blue Lotus (stuff about Japan!!!)
- Boodatude
- Bye Bye Pie
- Catherinette
- Consultant Calamities
- Cryptomundo (in case they catch the Loch Ness Monster)
- Green
- Just Humor Me
- Living In Muddy Waters
- Miss Kitty
- Miss(ed) Manners
- My Friend Hollye's Photography
- No Telling
- Norman
- One Mean MFA
- Plain(s) Feminist
- Platypus
- Sex and the Beach
- Slash Food
- South Florida Daily Blog
- Spooky's Skewed View
- Sprink
- The Insane Waiter
- The New Girl
- Violent Acres
- Whiskey Marie
- Why Architects Drink
Followers
Share it
8 comments:
I wish my thanksgiving was such a hodgepodge of visitors. My family was always crazy and drunk, but in a pretty standard crazy and drunk kind of way.
I would look at the picture. I am odd that way.
Oh come on! We've seen a picture of Basura turds on here before.
You need a reality TV show, or a documentary crew or something. I must see the people you know!
Also, that sucks about the turd, I am so sorry.
What an zany existence you lead!!!
p.s. You're right; please don't upload any pictures of that variety......
I don't know if you were ever a Six Feet Under fan, but this? Is distinctly SFU, not to mention gross. Sorry to hear about this, hope the rest of the week goes better!
I hope the Internet is fixed soon and many thanks for NOT sharing the photo!
white chocolate in speech class... I'm waiting & checking back every day!
Awesome writing as always, why you don't have a book deal I don't know. You remind me of Laurie Notaro but your stories are not exaggerated (sorry Laurie, I still love you!) for effect.