Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A Small Emergency

The Internet at my house is broken. I decided to come to my parents' house to use theirs to let you know that the Internet at my house is broken, and as I stepped onto my front step I saw that someone or something had pooped at my front door.

I repeat. There was a turd on my doorstep. A big turd. My doorstep is a pretty out of the way place for anyone or anything to take a crap so whoever did it had to go to some effort.

I am not happy that my Internet is broken and that someone has deposited feces in front of my apartment. This is not ok. I will spare you a photograph because I know that you all don't want to see a turd as much as I don't want to see a turd and that it would be almost as jarring for you to load the page and discover poo as it was for me to open my door and nearly step in it.

I arrived at my parents' house to use their computer and found my one sane, normal, healthy cousin who has decided to take his vacation time from a very prestigious university to spend the holiday with this crazy lot. I think it has something to do with our close proximity to South Beach, but this is merely a theory.

There was also a man named Elvis standing in the kitchen talking to my mom.


Anonymous said...

I wish my thanksgiving was such a hodgepodge of visitors. My family was always crazy and drunk, but in a pretty standard crazy and drunk kind of way.

theinspector said...

I would look at the picture. I am odd that way.

Anonymous said...

Oh come on! We've seen a picture of Basura turds on here before.

Anonymous said...

You need a reality TV show, or a documentary crew or something. I must see the people you know!
Also, that sucks about the turd, I am so sorry.

Anonymous said...

What an zany existence you lead!!!

p.s. You're right; please don't upload any pictures of that variety......

Anonymous said...

I don't know if you were ever a Six Feet Under fan, but this? Is distinctly SFU, not to mention gross. Sorry to hear about this, hope the rest of the week goes better!

Anonymous said...

I hope the Internet is fixed soon and many thanks for NOT sharing the photo!

Cruella DeMille said...

white chocolate in speech class... I'm waiting & checking back every day!

Awesome writing as always, why you don't have a book deal I don't know. You remind me of Laurie Notaro but your stories are not exaggerated (sorry Laurie, I still love you!) for effect.

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